How do you fix your mindset?

[jmprgrl74]

I know all the traditional concepts behind changing your state of mind - I have all the books, etc. on positive thinking, but it's easier said than done. I know that a year ago I lost 18 pounds on Atkins which is a huge motivator...it's the first time I've ever really lost any significant amount of weight at once. But I have this goal of getting down to a 'good' weight for myself, which is lower than I've been in a very long time. Like a lot of you, I've done EVERYTHING to lose weight at one point or other. I can even say I've worked my tail off at it before and gotten a good result (did BFL once and worked out 2 hrs/day - still never got to goal tho!), but never all the way.

So how in the world do you guys convince yourselves that you CAN do it?! I look at the pictures of those who did all the time, but truly, I feel like a failure. I know it's not healthy to go into this with that mindset, already thinking you'll fail, but I just can't seem to break it.

[julirama723]

Re: How do you fix your mindset?

For me, I didn't have any other choice. I had hit ROCK BOTTOM, felt awful, and looked worse. It was either continue living in misery (and probably downward into a deep depression) or make the choice to save my life. I chose to save my life.

Oh my gosh when I started I had second thoughts, I had doubts, I was incredibly afraid. I had over 100 pounds to lose! But I just focused on small goals, like getting down to the next size, or losing 10 pounds. Instead of worrying about "the big picture" (which is what I normally do) I thought about details--what I was eating today, what my exercise would be for tomorrow, how my clothing fit.

Don't think that because you're scared or discouraged that you are a failure. You're anything but. Fear and doubt simply makes you HUMAN.

The only thing that you can do is TRY. And I think it's NOT trying that makes a failure. So just do your best, give it a shot, and while you may not honestly believe you can do it (you CAN do it, by the way!), believe that you can TRY.

[RachelnLa]

Re: How do you fix your mindset?

I try to take it one day at a time. Making permanent eating changes is not going to come easy. I have had many years eating icky stuff and I'm stubborn LOL

You know that saying nothing tastes as good as looking/feeling good feels? When I'm tempted to slip.. I totally stop and ask myself if it's worth it. Even after losing 5 pounds... I LOST ... all because I stuck with it. How am I going to feel aftwards? Changes are, the cycle of eating/feeling bad with start. Then where will I be? Right back wehere I started. I started Atkins to make changes. I know it works. It's good for me. I feel so much better, etc. I think just talking to myself and figuring out WHY I want that certain food.. looking for an alternative, writing about my feelings, EXPERIENCING my feelings is such a positive motivator for me. DOes not make it any easier? No! It's hard to change. But I vow to never give up trying.

You CAN do it.. your want to has to be greater than your don't want to.

[Desihue]

Re: How do you fix your mindset?

I got sick and tired of being sick and tired. I would get mad at my hubby for checking out the babes on TV because I was insecure about MY body, now how ridiculous is that?? The poor man! I made up my mind once and for all that I was gonna get slim and sexy like I used to be. I was scared that I might fail sure but I just pushed thru that. I stayed on any and every Atkins board I could find and I looked at all the success pics daily and thought…That's going to be me one day. I'd be lying if I said I don't still have days when I feel fat or like I'm not doing enough. That's when I pull out pics of what I used to look like and reality smacks me in the face. Pictures keep me going, if I can "see" results then I get excited to try to lose even more. I wish you the very best of luck and encourage you to push past the negative thoughts…Be like Nike and just DO IT.

[jmprgrl74]

Re: How do you fix your mindset?

You guys are so sweet and inspiring. It's funny, I've done WW's before and never got the amount of support everyone on this board gives each other. I see it in every post on here - it is truly amazing.

Thank you - I will keep all of this in mind and try to remember to take it a little at a time. I'm bad for that, as well - looking at the big picture and letting it scare me. My mom used to tell me that as well. Maybe if I make the mini-goals I see you guys doing, when I reach them it will keep pushing me to the next. I do have to say that I feel like I am less sluggish and I'd forgotten how good that felt. That in itself will be a huge benefit to my children.

Thank you!

[Katie_1985]

Re: How do you fix your mindset?

Julirana and Desihue bring up amazing points!!! I have to say that I also was so TIRED of not looking my best and not FEELING my best! So tired of walking into a store and finding out that I didn't fit into any of its sizes, resorting then to a plus sized store. Mini goals really do help. Right now, I am pushing for the next size down, as 70 pounds to lose over all is a little overwhelming!

Remember to love your body first!!! If you enter a weight loss hating yourself, that's no good. Your love for yourself is NOT conditional and CERTAINLY not conditional on weight! You should wake up every morning saying you love x about yourself and focus on that. Focus on what you have to do to feel great and make THAT your goal!

[partytrouble]

Re: How do you fix your mindset?

i agree, i had to focus on MINI goals only. if i looked at the big picture, that i had over 75 lbs i wanted to lose, i would freak out, get depressed, and binge. for the first 50 or so pounds, i did NOT make it about weight...i made it about BEHAVIOR. my goals were 'i will stick to induction for 2 weeks' or 'i will stick to extended induction for x amount of weeks', NOT numbers.
another thing i did, was eat huge amounts of legal food. it took a long time for me to learn not to binge eat, but the miracle of this diet was even if you eat a LOT of food, you still lose if you stick to the carb limit. that helped me break the overeating cycle, because as i lost wt, my anxiety ABOUT my weight lowered and that in turn lowered my emotional eating response. make sense?
hang in there...you CAN do it!!

[RachelnLa]

Re: How do you fix your mindset?

eat huge amounts of legal food. it took a long time for me to learn not to binge eat, but the miracle of this diet was even if you eat a LOT of food, you still lose if you stick to the carb limit. that helped me break the overeating cycle, because as i lost wt, my anxiety ABOUT my weight lowered and that in turn lowered my emotional eating response. make sense?
hang in there...you CAN do it!!

Yes! I can relate to this! The support from this board IS awesome. Journaling helps me too. Best of luck and hope to see ya round the boards.

[blue996]

Re: How do you fix your mindset?

Like Julie I felt I hit rock bottom. I had never been overweight and when I saw the number 208 on my scale it shocked me into reality. I knew I had gained a lot of weight but somehow mentally I couldn't accept it. Once I saw the number (after not weighing for years) I felt like I was ready to make changes. I knew if I didn't the weight would just keep piling on.

At first my goal of 73 pounds seemed really overwhelming. I remember thinking five months ago how much I wanted to be in the 170's and how I would never get there...and now I am! It really helps to just focus on small goals and taking it one day at a time. Sometimes I want to cheat and I just tell myself "not today" and the urge passes.

I also told a lot of people that I was trying to lose weight. It keeps me accountable. I don't want them to see me as a failure. When I look at my life I am happy with everything except my weight. I guess I just decided that I had no right to be unhappy about something I could control.

[Evermind]

Re: How do you fix your mindset?

You have raised a question that a lot of us avoid asking other people and struggle with all alone. Thanks for doing that.

I do keep my eye on the prize, so to speak, reminding myself of where I started and where I want to be. But I don't use the prize to measure anything at all, and I never use it when I'm feeling insecure.

What I think I do is what I do when I'm climbing a large hill or mountain. I never look up at the top. I keep my eyes on the ground, where my feet are about to step next. If I look up, it's too overwhelming as I see how far there is to go. If I look down, I'm forced to focus on the here and now.

I think the other thing that I do is have multiple ways of measuring my progress. Sure, the scale is one. But I also keep track of inches - and believe me, that's important. THere have been times when I've lost a ton of inches and only a couple of pounds. And I keep track of how I feel, how my body feels. There's a sense of well-being I get when I'm in ketosis that is a really good measuring stick.

And when all else fails, and it did for me when I hit a 2 month stall, then I reach out and ask for other people to give me feedback. I don't think there was anything that made me feel better during the tail end of that stall than venting on a post and having dozens of people respond on the thread or in pms telling me that I inspire them and that I can do it.

[Carb Addict]

Re: How do you fix your mindset?

It is a head game. The logic of the diet by eating lots of fat is hard to accept. I had a tough time with highs and lows when I started in Jan. It has evened off but I still find myself getting frustrated when the scale doesn't go down every day. I find that I have to own the feelings of being down and not try to self medicate with candies etc as I have done in the past. What works for me is getting active and somehow distracting myself from the way I am feeling. Natural endorphins are great and will help. But I find that I also have to decide every day that I am worth it. I have to focus on the future and what I want. It is one day at a time. I also find that filling my mind with lots of good stuff - books, journalling, etc helps immensely. These boards are a great source of motivation and support. This diet takes time for long term results. You have to take a step to start the journey! Hope this helps!

[dreamof145]

Re: How do you fix your mindset?

That is a good question. I can only speak for myself, but I was so ashamed and sick of being the fattest person no matter where I went. I was sick of not going anywhere (embarrassment) and not doing anything because I was short of breath and just tired. I was tired of watching my family from the couch. I wanted to be a part of the action and have fun. I was not happy. I got mad. I got so mad that I decided that I was going to do this no matter what. I was a mess at first, I wanted to quit, I had a lot of obstacles right off the bat. I started exercising and ruptured two disks in my back. I didn't quit. I just felt sorry for myself, got madder and kept going. I took babysteps, one pound at a time. I kept reading the book over and over and I kept coming here to connect with people who felt the same as me. And finally I was convinced that I could do it, I was going to do it, I refused to ever give up the fight. I had lots of struggles, but I didn't stop believing that I could do it. Even now, 4 years later, I'm not at goal, but I'll never quit. It isn't always easy, but it is a burning passion that I feed daily with inspirational thoughts and positive actions. You just have to keep going, don't look back. It will happen. Come here often and be active in the wonderful positive atmosphere that the others spread around. You can do it.

[Adena]

Re: How do you fix your mindset?

Jmpgrl -- it's definitely baby steps for me. Set a mini goal for yourself. And I mean MINI... like 5 pounds. Then, once you achieve that, set another. 5 more. Before you know it, it ads up.

Also, I think once we lose a pretty good bit, we get kinda complacent. That happened to me. While I wasn't anywhere close to where I wanted to be, I was close to "normal" sized for the first time in my life, I could shop in regular stores, etc. I felt really good -- and I got lazy. Since you said you've lost a lot, but not quite gotten all the way down where you want to be, I wonder if you've felt some of that as well?

Frankly, I haven't found the answer for that one, as I'm currently in recovery myself... just taking it one day at a time. While each day sometimes seems slow, I remind myself how quickly time passes... and before you know it, you'll have crossed another one of those mini-goals off your list.

Hang in there -- you can do it.

[jmprgrl74]

Re: How do you fix your mindset?

You girls are so wonderful - I sincerely mean it. There is so much to take away from this thread and you've really boosted my resolve that I can do this. Thankfully, my husband is my biggest fan and he follows along with me on whatever diet path I end up taking. That helps so much. He only has 20 or so to lose, which he undoubtedly will do quickly as he has in the past, but he continues the Atkins lifestyle to make things easier for me. Thank God for him and thank God for you guys because I'm sure you too have been around a lot of people who roll their eyes over our choice for this WOL. That's okay. When I find success in a way that WW's never did for me, then they'll understand.

Now I think I'll figure out my first mini-goal

[DigitalMocking]

Re: How do you fix your mindset?

This is part of what is working for me, I hope it can help you as well. I'm 38 years old now, I've been an athelete, I've been thin, I've been fat, and every step in between. I've done fruit diets and fasts and macrobiotic and weight watchers and everything in between.

What's really worked for me is setting real goals, I know we've all read this before, about how important goal setting is, but it still seems glossed over a lot of the time. "I want to lose weight" is a direction, not a goal. If you were to ask the captain of a ship what his goal was, he'd tell you he wants to hit a certain port at a certain time and date, not "Go west".

I'm finding for myself that setting real goals, with honest, attainable dates attached to them has been VERY powerful for me. I'm reading "Burn the Fat, Feed the Muscle" (www.fitren.com) and while I don't agree with a lot of his dietary recommendations in the book, the way the author talks honestly and directly about goals and how powerful the subconcious mind is in our success has really been eye opening for me.

The author offers a 6 step goal process:
1. Your ultimate long-term goal
2. 12 month goal
3. Three month goals
4. Weekly goals (Weigh ins and weekly pictures)
5. Daily goals (habits to develop, things to do every day repeatedly)
6. The goal of beating your personal best.

One of the things he talks about in length is writing these goals out and really owning them. I've adjusted the mini-goals not just to be 10lb increments, but real, honest milestones I want to reach while I'm on this journey.

I hope some of you find this helpful, I know it's been really powerful for me, and I'm a lifelong cynic. I honestly thought to myself "this is kind of dumb, I *KNOW* what I want to do with changing my eating" but when I sat down and really wrote out what I wanted, I could suddenly see myself at these goals, and it's a great feeling!

good luck!