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Been back for 10+ days, and I'm not counting. Eating less and less and finding myself less hungry, more relieved to not be held in the greedy hands of cravings..... A terrible bondage is relieved! Or so it would feel. I have no idea how free I am, but right now, it's not very hard to eat right and move on to other things.
The trickiest part of the whole day is that first moment in the morning when I wake up and EMOTIONALLY go looking for RESULTS. I don't feel weightloss in my puffed up stomach. I don't feel clothing getting loose yet at all. So in that moment of awakening, I don't feel thinner. Then this tiny, ever so slight voice deep in the back of my head says, "what if it won't work this time?" Some people never get the magic back! My head will usually pop up at that moment, because to me, that voice is the enemy....DOUBT, is my enemy. It leads to ANXIETY, which is another enemy....THey jump up on my shoulders on my way to the bathroom. What if you don't loose the weight you LET COME BACK!
I know this battle well. It is at this very moment I stop the noise with the awareness of all the other things this way of life brings to me. I have alot of peace with food. I am not very hungry. I have peace with knowing I am doing right by my body. I find myself far less tired than I use to. No more feeling like I need constant naps. I feel my moods are smoothing out again, all because of what I am NOT EATING. I'm happy with little amounts of foods. I like this feeling.
What if? Truth be told, I do want results. I am handing over my favorite foods for something in return, and it's not just the peace, I do want results. But they will come, my body has a way with all of this. I do miss my thinner clothes and I miss looking down at my slender legs. I miss the space I've filled back up with fat! But this journey requires patience and self awareness at all turns. Today things will be fine. I've turned off the noise, and turned up the graditutde!
The trickiest part of the whole day is that first moment in the morning when I wake up and EMOTIONALLY go looking for RESULTS. I don't feel weightloss in my puffed up stomach. I don't feel clothing getting loose yet at all. So in that moment of awakening, I don't feel thinner. Then this tiny, ever so slight voice deep in the back of my head says, "what if it won't work this time?" Some people never get the magic back! My head will usually pop up at that moment, because to me, that voice is the enemy....DOUBT, is my enemy. It leads to ANXIETY, which is another enemy....THey jump up on my shoulders on my way to the bathroom. What if you don't loose the weight you LET COME BACK!
I know this battle well. It is at this very moment I stop the noise with the awareness of all the other things this way of life brings to me. I have alot of peace with food. I am not very hungry. I have peace with knowing I am doing right by my body. I find myself far less tired than I use to. No more feeling like I need constant naps. I feel my moods are smoothing out again, all because of what I am NOT EATING. I'm happy with little amounts of foods. I like this feeling.
What if? Truth be told, I do want results. I am handing over my favorite foods for something in return, and it's not just the peace, I do want results. But they will come, my body has a way with all of this. I do miss my thinner clothes and I miss looking down at my slender legs. I miss the space I've filled back up with fat! But this journey requires patience and self awareness at all turns. Today things will be fine. I've turned off the noise, and turned up the graditutde!
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