When your extended family isn't supportive

[ontheway2Stephanie]

I am dreading going around my family this Christmas. All of my family is overweight, some by 30 pounds, some by 100+ pounds. They have all seen me try and continually fail at weight loss. So to them, this will be the same as all those other times. They will be enabling me, saying things like "Oh, it's Christmas! Have a cookie" etc.

I haven't said anything to them about being on Atkins. I don't want them to know. I don't want to make a big deal out of it because I don't want them pushing food on me. I also don't want to give them any reason to think things like "Just eat. You're going to fail again", Or "Why bother, it's never worked" etc. And I just know they are thinking that kind of stuff.

I almost wonder if somehow me losing weight threatens them in some way, makes them feel like they are being lazy or something.

Anyway, any tips on surviving unsupportive family?

[clogger]

Re: When your extended family isn't supportive

If your whole family is overweight perhaps you can be a role model to them and be proof-positive that Atkins works and is a great way of life.

Family dynamics are trouble sometimes, huh? I think you are on the right track when you say that maybe some of them may feel threatened. Misery loves company and overeaters like to overeat with other overeaters!

A line I read on this board one time said something like if someone offers you something that isn't Atkins-friendly jokingly say "I can't eat that ~ I'm allergic. It makes me break out in fat!" I love that one.

Plan ahead and bring dishes that are low carb that most everyone will like ~ deviled eggs, a veggie tray, ham/turkey/cream cheese roll ups, a tray with pickles/black olives/green olives, etc.

Good luck!

[Chef Kevin]

Re: When your extended family isn't supportive

I am the poster child for bad behavior when some fat-body tells me how to lose weight.
So, don't take advice from me.
I always end up saying things like "oh, yeah, that works so well for you" or when they are eating sweets and talking about their blood sugar going thru the roof, i really lose it.
On the plus side, they don't mention it anymore.....
I just eat what I can and as much as I want, and go about my business.

[lilfloppysocks]

Re: When your extended family isn't supportive

Say nothing and eat your fill of low carb foods. I betcha no one will even notice. Meats, of course, veggies, devilled eggs...

Bring a low carb cheese cake for desert (lots of easy, easy recipes for this online!) and stake your claim the minute you walk in the door - something along the lines of : I've been dying for cheesecake, if anyone touches this without offering me a slice, heads will ROLL! ^_^ If anyone offers you a cookie, just say: Are you kidding, I'm saving myself for cheesecake!

I've used this method myself and no one even realized I was on Atkins. (Although I was hand slapped over the devilled eggs. LOL!)

Good luck!!!

[Zarabelle]

Re: When your extended family isn't supportive

I can really sympathise with you. My PIL claim to be supportive but made a REALLY big thing out of me taking food with me a couple of weekends ago. You have to be firm and stick to your guns.. I did! and I will continue to do so! You can eat quite a lot of a traditional Christmas dinner - turkey, ham and veg. Take along a treat that you can have for dessert so that you don't feel tempted by theirs. I am either going to make a lemon mousse, cheesecake or chocolate cake (OK past nuts rung). I know what you mean about them thinking it will be a short term WOE that won't work and won't last but the only thing you can do is prove them wrong!! x

[Outback Jess]

Re: When your extended family isn't supportive

This is tough, but this tough situation can also make you stronger and stronger. The challenge is to GO IN PREPARED with your food.
Don't make a big deal. Get involved with conversations, if asked if you want this or that, say, "Im not hungry right now, maybe in a little while. Eat your favorite foods, and keep stuff in the car if need be. If you stay full, you have won a inner battle for the other side's food. You can also use that as a great excuse. "Im full, I'm just not hungry"...

You have to put on your war paint, and hold your own personal line in this. You to learn to quietly take a inner stand with yourself and then a tactful outter stand with others. No apologies are needed, you do what is right for you! Keep it to yourself....just do it!

Nobody makes me eat good or bad, but ME! I am the boss of me! I choose what I will and will not do this holiday season. I've got my eating plan and momentum and I am not giving that up for anything! IT S BEEN WAY TO HARD TO ACHIEVE ALL OVER AGAIN!

[blueberrylady]

Re: When your extended family isn't supportive

If all else fails when someone is pushing food on you, tell them you have a bit of an upset stomach and maybe you will feel better in a little while. That usually stops them. Or just move on to talk to someone else.

[Beautifuldisaster]

Re: When your extended family isn't supportive

While most of my family struggles with weight, none of them are "happy" with their weight so at family gatherings we are like a group of basic "women" all trying to proove who has LESS on their plate.
To put on the persona of a basic over weight person "i really don't eat much I don't know why Im big!?" LOL
So luckly at my family gatherings food isn't pushed at all!
However in a group of friends, I get the "Just taste it!!" all the time... "one taste isn't going to hurt you!" and I just shrug it off and say no thank you... keep a smile! And brush it off...
Next year when your at the same dinner, at your goal weight, You can sit back and laugh as none of THEM will want the cookies then! LOL

[Outback Jess]

Re: When your extended family isn't supportive

There are sooo many dynamics in family gatherings and so many lines that "family" just plain cross, often uninvited that an average relationship doesn't have to endure.
I've been thinking about this. I am very strong and in my family and extended family, everybody knows I show respect to others and curb my comments, unless asked. I have received the same in responce. Everybody knows I won't cave in to please family, because I'm trying to get and remain healthy! That is respected, especially since I was obese. Me, I was obese, weighing more than anyone else in our entire family and extended family.....Let them say or try what they want, but I've got to and will stick up for myself!