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  • #1

    Need to come back again...but not quite there yet.

    Hi All,

    I was here in May/June of 08 and did ok for a minute...but shock of all shocks, ended up pregnant (honestly, probably DUE to Atkins since I had tried for years with no success). The pregnancy ended in miscarriage...which left me dealing with an emotional hole filled by food/alcohol/you name it. It's been MANY months now...I'm back at 289lbs (down from 294 last week) but have no strong desire to start low carbing just yet. I'm getting there...just not quite there yet.

    On the getting there front, I did start exercising last week...and have successfully exercised 5 out of the last 8 days. That is HUGE for me...now if I can just change my eating habbits. I'm not sure I'm ready to give up alcohol and comfort foods yet...my hope is that the exercising will nudge me into a space of wanting to improve upon myself even more...hasn't happened quite yet.

    I'm posting here I guess to help myself by SEEING my struggle in print so that I can start making some decisions in the right direction. I've considered setting a start date...a date by which it's time to jump in, no more excuses. I don't know...I know I have a house full of food right now and I always use that as an excuse NOT to start...so if I use that date as one where I "refuse" to buy more carbs and then jump in on that date...maybe that will help. I just don't know anymore...all I do know is that something has to happen because doing nothing keeps me bouncing around just under 300lbs...I don't want to hit that, I really don't.

    I know many might say "jump in now, no time like the present"...but I'm just not quite ready for that...I'm just not. But coming back here and reading success stories helps...it's how I gear up I guess.


    Started: 3/2/09

    ~280~270~260~250~240~230~220~210~200~190

    Realistic Final Goal: 190
    Stretch Goal: 140


    Successfully did Atkins in 1998 using 1992 copy of the book...before it was "hip". Lost 60lbs, exercised daily, felt and looked great. And then I moved in with a junk-food loving man, my mom got sick and passed away, then I suffered a spinal cord injury, and junk-food dude left me...and now I weigh 292lbs. That's 22lbs MORE than I weighed the first time around. It's 10 years later...I know this will work for me again.
    Tags: again...but, back, yet.
  • #2
    Re: Need to come back again...but not quite there yet.

    Welcome to STAC

    We are here when you are ready.

    Julie
    Re-Start Date 1/03/09 SW 232/LW199/CW 192
    #1 Goal 215 2/11/09
    #2 Goal- 198 4/26/09
    #3 Goal- 189
    #4 Goal- 179 #5 Goal- 160






    July 28th, 2008 Spinal Fusion L4-S1. 85% fused as of Jan 9th, 2009




    Comment

    • #3
      Re: Need to come back again...but not quite there yet.

      Welcome back, and yes we are here when you are ready to dive in and right now too! Just remember the first step is always the hardest!

      Comment

      • #4
        Re: Need to come back again...but not quite there yet.

        WELCOME! Starting before you're ready may end in disappointment... Just wait until you KNOW you can stick with it. Stop by STAC often, post a bit ~ There's a whole lot of open arms here. We'll be waiting
        ~*~Katrina~*~
        2 1/2 yr old daughter
        Getting Married 05/01/09
        *NEED TO FIT IN SIZE 12 WEDDING DRESS!!*
        ~ON MAY 1ST, 2009!!~


        Start Date: 03/02/09
        203/183/140

        Comment

        • #5
          Re: Need to come back again...but not quite there yet.

          Thanks for the great encouraging responses! I wanted to wait till after my birthday, which is March 13...but I don't think I can wait anymore. I think I'm ready...well...I'll be ready monday. I bought all my veggies and some other things I didn't already have on hand and after tomorrow, I'm jumping in! Monday morning is it...I'm going to power through my birthday low-carb style. Things hurt...and I'm edging dangerously close to the 300lb mark...I just dont want to go there...it's time to start.

          So...March 2nd it is! I'm excited. I'm checking the boards often, looking for answers to new questions I have (I didn't do rungs when I did this in 199 and trying to remember things I know the answer to already. I'm hoping this is it...I'm tired of feeling aweful!

          I'll post on monday evening...need to be accountable!


          Started: 3/2/09

          ~280~270~260~250~240~230~220~210~200~190

          Realistic Final Goal: 190
          Stretch Goal: 140


          Successfully did Atkins in 1998 using 1992 copy of the book...before it was "hip". Lost 60lbs, exercised daily, felt and looked great. And then I moved in with a junk-food loving man, my mom got sick and passed away, then I suffered a spinal cord injury, and junk-food dude left me...and now I weigh 292lbs. That's 22lbs MORE than I weighed the first time around. It's 10 years later...I know this will work for me again.

          Comment

          • #6
            Re: Need to come back again...but not quite there yet.

            Hi rajenki,

            Sorry to hear about your loss. If you aren't ready, then maybe you can answer this question (just to yourself), what are you waiting for? What has to happen before you will be ready?

            We are here to be with you when you start. Join the 'roll call' - its' one way to 'check in' with the rest of the group on a daily basis. You'll feel great once you start. Starting is the hardest hardest part.

            Come come come with us on this journey. S-




            Female/42 yrs/5'9"/4 children
            SW: 220 CW: 185 GW: 150


            CHALLENGE GOALS
            Starting weight: 192
            Goal: March 1: 190 - MET
            Goal: March 8: 185 - MET
            Goal: March 15: 183
            Goal: March 22: 181
            Goal: March 29: 179
            Goal: April 5: 177
            Final Goal: April 12: 175

            Comment

            • #7
              Re: Need to come back again...but not quite there yet.

              So sorry for your loss. It is definitely hard to get positive and passionate about something after such a personal loss. I am glad you are feeling more ready. You have company in having difficulty getting going again. It has taken me three months to get a commitment to this WOE back into my head and heart. Several times I thought I was ready but faltered. Keep doing what you are doing. Each day do what you can, and one day it will all come together. Just dont stop trying. Glad you are back.
              JILL

              HW 298
              HW (this time) 248
              GOAL ONE 228               (take 2)
              GOAL TWO 213 (personal goal)
              GOAL THREE 199 ONE-DERLAND
              FINAL GOAL 165

               It's not about the results. Its about the process.

              "I've never come home after a workout and said, MAN, I wish I had NOT exercised today!"



              Comment

              • #8
                Re: Need to come back again...but not quite there yet.

                Thanks, Jill. I actually started induction 14 days ago...I weigh in tomorrow morning! YAY!


                Started: 3/2/09

                ~280~270~260~250~240~230~220~210~200~190

                Realistic Final Goal: 190
                Stretch Goal: 140


                Successfully did Atkins in 1998 using 1992 copy of the book...before it was "hip". Lost 60lbs, exercised daily, felt and looked great. And then I moved in with a junk-food loving man, my mom got sick and passed away, then I suffered a spinal cord injury, and junk-food dude left me...and now I weigh 292lbs. That's 22lbs MORE than I weighed the first time around. It's 10 years later...I know this will work for me again.

                Comment

                • #9
                  Re: Need to come back again...but not quite there yet.

                  So? How are you feeling with it?
                  JILL

                  HW 298
                  HW (this time) 248
                  GOAL ONE 228                   (take 2)
                  GOAL TWO 213 (personal goal)
                  GOAL THREE 199 ONE-DERLAND
                  FINAL GOAL 165

                   It's not about the results. Its about the process.

                  "I've never come home after a workout and said, MAN, I wish I had NOT exercised today!"



                  Comment

                  • #10
                    Re: Need to come back again...but not quite there yet.

                    I'm doing fabulous. I just got over the big birthday weekend hurdle and I must admit I did break down and have a little alcohol last night at the second birthday party, but that was the ONLY cheat! It was a Jack Daniels and Diet Coke...so coulda been worse.

                    I made myself sugar free crustless cheesecake to get through the weekend so that I could have cake, too...and it's worked out great. I actually think I didn't get ENOUGH calories yesterday with all the cleaning and prepping for the party and then at the party I only nibbled on a few bite size pieces of salami and cheese. There were pleanty of temptations...meatbals in bbq sauce, doritos (my favorite!), chips and dip, hummus...so many things, but I stuck to the low carb options and even loaned my old version of the book to a friend who is interested in this WOE. I'm not feeling deprived and am enjoying not having the munchies all the time.

                    I know some people said I should just "jump in" and start, but I believe you really have to decide your ready, and that's what I did. I was ready, however, before I thought I would be. I wasn't comfortable in my skin anymore...things just hurt, and clothes were getting worse and worse to wear. I'm glad I started when I did...I didn't miss the birthday cake at all and didn't need to drink a bunch of alcohol and still had a great time. I know I'm down at least 10 lbs...can't wait to see the verdict in the morning!


                    Started: 3/2/09

                    ~280~270~260~250~240~230~220~210~200~190

                    Realistic Final Goal: 190
                    Stretch Goal: 140


                    Successfully did Atkins in 1998 using 1992 copy of the book...before it was "hip". Lost 60lbs, exercised daily, felt and looked great. And then I moved in with a junk-food loving man, my mom got sick and passed away, then I suffered a spinal cord injury, and junk-food dude left me...and now I weigh 292lbs. That's 22lbs MORE than I weighed the first time around. It's 10 years later...I know this will work for me again.

                    Comment

                    • #11
                      Re: Need to come back again...but not quite there yet.

                      I'm not sure I'm ready to give up alcohol and comfort foods yet...
                      Actually, how comforting was that food and alcohol? So many of us try to fill up that empty hole with all the wrong things, only making all of our problems worse.

                      which left me dealing with an emotional hole filled by food/alcohol/you name it.
                      I'm glad to see you've given up trying to fill the emotional hole with things that never help. We are here for support as you look forward to doing things that will help heal you from the inside out. Sometimes we need someone on the outside of the hole to just reach in and yank us out into the sunlight.

                      I am very sorry for your loss, and know how heartbreaking that can be.
                      People who say it can't be done, should not interrupt those doing it.


                      "Some men give up their designs when they have almost reached the goal; While others, on the contrary, obtain a victory by exerting, at the last moment, more vigorous efforts than ever before."
                      ~~Herodotus


                      Doin' the "Real Deal" Atkins 2002 since 9/15/2005
                      Sunny's Secrets: My Journal



                      Comment

                      • #12
                        Re: Need to come back again...but not quite there yet.

                        We're here for you when you're ready.
                        MOTHEREARTH AKA SHERRI "HOW THE WORLD TURNS AS I SEE IT"
                        HT: 5'10.5-Highest weight-374 lbs.
                        Began ATKINS 07-07-04 @ 334 lbs.
                        Maintaned 101 lb. Weightloss
                        New goals-New start 03-21-10 @ 273
                        ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~inches lost~~~~
                        1st mini-goal: 260
                        2nd mini-goal:249
                        2nd mini-goal:239
                        3rd mini-goal:229
                        GOAL :225




                        Comment

                        • #13
                          Re: Need to come back again...but not quite there yet.

                          Glad to hear you are doing so well. I am like you--I know the day is coming but also know when I am not quite ready to commit. Somehow thinking about it gets you ready. I felt the same way. I was prepared to start today, but about ten days ago my head was ready. On one hand I was really disappointed because I had planned out a Greek dinner for some friends and they were bringing dessert---baklava. Its pastry and honey and cinnamon and nuts and OOHH SOO GOOD but now my head was saying "YOU ARE READY-START NOW" so I did. And that darn baklava is still sitting in the kitchen. I am going to take it to pilates tomorrow and let all the skinny girls there eat what's left so I no longer have to walk by it. LOL
                          Last edited by chinadoll; March 16, 2009, 03:08 AM. Reason: spelling
                          JILL

                          HW 298
                          HW (this time) 248
                          GOAL ONE 228                           (take 2)
                          GOAL TWO 213 (personal goal)
                          GOAL THREE 199 ONE-DERLAND
                          FINAL GOAL 165

                           It's not about the results. Its about the process.

                          "I've never come home after a workout and said, MAN, I wish I had NOT exercised today!"



                          Comment

                          • #14
                            Re: Need to come back again...but not quite there yet.

                            Good plan with the Baklava! I made sure my friends took all the party foods with them or threw them out. They coulda left the salami though...but they didnt LOL...I've also given a lot of my pantry and frozen foods away in the last month. I tried waiting till I ate it all myself, but was ready to let it go and jump in.

                            Reading up on success stories and recipes helped me to get ready again. The other thing was remembering all the good foods I really did enjoy when I've done this in the past. For example...when I'm NOT lo-carbing, I never make taco salad (which I adore) or pizza burgers, or bacon...so I would sit back and reminisce on those things and remember that this diet is not about avoiding tasty foods...it's about avoiding the foods that make you feel like crud and make you want to eat more.

                            Things I don't miss after two weeks in:

                            * gas
                            * heartburn (though I have had a tad bit of heartburn for some reason the last couple days, but not near whe I used to deal with daily!)
                            * general bloating
                            * wanting a nap after meals
                            * cravings
                            * wasting .85 cents on a bag of chips from the vending machine at 2ish every day
                            * feeling over-stuffed after too large meals

                            I'm hopeful that I'm going to stick with this...
                            Becki


                            Started: 3/2/09

                            ~280~270~260~250~240~230~220~210~200~190

                            Realistic Final Goal: 190
                            Stretch Goal: 140


                            Successfully did Atkins in 1998 using 1992 copy of the book...before it was "hip". Lost 60lbs, exercised daily, felt and looked great. And then I moved in with a junk-food loving man, my mom got sick and passed away, then I suffered a spinal cord injury, and junk-food dude left me...and now I weigh 292lbs. That's 22lbs MORE than I weighed the first time around. It's 10 years later...I know this will work for me again.

                            Comment

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