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  • #1

    Need support... and to fess up... I feel out of control...

    Hi everyone.
    I am at work right now, so this will have to be fairly brief and to the point...

    Last night I found out my father is being tested for colon cancer. And has been living for the past 10 years with Hep C ... and the doctor has never told us....

    That is the story...After going into shock... getting mad.. and crying my eyes out... what did our family do? we ate... and cried...and ate and cried... and ate...

    I am MY Daddy's girl..... i can't think of my life without him in it...

    I won't go into specifics, but all you need to know, is I am so far off the wagon after last night....

    I feel out of control of MY LIFE. I know i can gert a grip on my eating... I have... but i am in the mindset.. of is it worth it in the big picture?

    Do i give in to my grieving for the time they will have stolen from me, my kids.... i just want to lock myself away and sit down with something that will make me feel better...

    thank you for listening... and if I dissapear for a while (after just having come back.. i know) You all know where I am.... I will be back....
    ~ Erin ~
    5'7", 33years old
    **Not So new Atkineer **
    Original start date Dec 2003
    Original start weight : 225
    CURRENT STATS:
    Started Induction Feb 20, 2009
    195/187/165




    Tags: control..., feel, fess, support..., up...
  • #2
    Re: Need support... and to fess up... I feel out of control...

    Hi Erin,

    I can feel your pain through your post. There are so many options - even if he has colon cancer. I understand your need to question this but there is hope. Your Dad needs you to be hopeful. It is a key component to healing.

    Re: eating. I think if you try to stay with healthy eating, it will help you through this difficult time as well.

    Keep going. My thoughts are with you and your family. S-




    Female/42 yrs/5'9"/4 children
    SW: 220 CW: 185 GW: 150


    CHALLENGE GOALS
    Starting weight: 192
    Goal: March 1: 190 - MET
    Goal: March 8: 185 - MET
    Goal: March 15: 183
    Goal: March 22: 181
    Goal: March 29: 179
    Goal: April 5: 177
    Final Goal: April 12: 175

    Comment

    • #3
      Re: Need support... and to fess up... I feel out of control...

      Erin I am so sorry to hear about the devastating news that was delivered to you regarding your dad. I can't even begin to imagine what you must be going thru right now. I do know about the power of losing weight and meeting weight loss goals. As much as I'm sure the comfort foods you are eating might taste good(temporarily), and as good as you may (think you) feel, I'm thinking it's totally NOT worth it in the end. The main reason being, you are grieving your father's fate and the LAST thing you need is added weight on top of that. I am speaking from personal experience that on my absolute WORST day, I can count on exercise to make me feel a little better if not a LOT better. Not only that, you need to be in the very best of health so that you can be strong for your dad, children, and your family. You can't do that very effectively if you're eating bad foods and not taking good care of your body. I see you have already lost some weight...congrats to you!
      Please, DO NOT give up your weightloss dreams in the midst of this storm.

      ((HUGZ))

      I'm Dez follow me on twitter @mizcardio
      Age~39 Height~ 5'6"
      SW~ 204 / CW~ 164
      Was a size 18 Now a Size 8 Goal!!!
      January challenges---> Squats & Abs

      Comment

      • #4
        Re: Need support... and to fess up... I feel out of control...

        Erin I know exactly what you are going through but one important thing is that you need to take care of you too...that is what your dad would want... Hang in there..praying for your dad
        Sandy
        40th birthday June 27,2009


        Starting Weight 293 Highest Weight
        Current Weight 271
        Goal Weight 150
        Female/40

        Mini Goals
        #1-Get into 260's-
        #2-Get into 250's-
        #3-Get into 240's
        #4-Get into 230's



        Comment

        • #5
          Re: Need support... and to fess up... I feel out of control...

          Thank you Ladies so much....
          Yes last night when we all went for supper... i just wasn not about to start being picky about what was in my food... given the circumstances... My losing 30 pounds is a spit in the ocean to what my dad is going through right now...

          I have not fallen into a pit of over indulging on bad foods... I am finding it hard to eat at all today... I really want to prevail this for myself... but i just feel like i don't want to (and I know this is a "right now feeling"....)

          Thank you all for your words.
          ~ Erin ~
          5'7", 33years old
          **Not So new Atkineer **
          Original start date Dec 2003
          Original start weight : 225
          CURRENT STATS:
          Started Induction Feb 20, 2009
          195/187/165




          Comment

          • #6
            Re: Need support... and to fess up... I feel out of control...

            For you and your family.
            ~Lisa~
            F, 37, 5' 7", Medium Frame
            I've been to the edge of 240something and I ain't going back!
            CW: 188
            GW: 165
            1st Goal: 180
            2nd Goal: 175
            3rd Goal: 170
            Final Goal: 165
            "You get what you put into it..."

            Comment

            • #7
              Re: Need support... and to fess up... I feel out of control...

              Erin i am in hopes and prayers for your father as well as your family!
              I am sure all will be okay! I have to add when it comes to cancer i have to say i understand what it does and it can claim a life just like that yet most is over time!
              As for my father i lost him to a heart attack.
              No warning nothing!
              He passed in my arms in 2000.
              It was an awful experience.
              This way you do have time as well as hope and possible solutions!!!
              I hope and pray for the best for you and yours!
              God bless! Your sister in christ!


              IF LIFE HANDS YOU LEMONS, MAKE SOME LEMONADE!!! AS LONG AS ITS LOW IN SUGAR AND CARBS! LOL ---SHALISA!

              Comment

              • #8
                Re: Need support... and to fess up... I feel out of control...

                Erin, I really want to encourage you to try to separate the grief you are feeling from what you put into your body. Being overweight is not going to make you feel better.

                Let me share something with you. I started Atkins in 2005 and I think I weighed 187 at that time. I had lost down to the low 160's, and then starting January of 2006, we had a series of tragedies. My grandmother died, my 55 year old step father was killed in a freak tree cutting accident, and my husband sustained severe brain damage from carbon monoxide poisoning. I stopped caring and started eating.

                I gained back up to 181 pounds. I still had to deal with all of the crappy stuff that was going on in my life, and I was not taking care of myself at all. When you are dealing with horrible things, you need to be sure to make time for yourself and to realize that YOU are important. I lost sight of that for a while. I went back on Atkins December of 2008, and now I am down 40 pounds. I look good. I feel good. My stepfather is still gone. My husband is still sick, but losing weight and taking care of myself has given me the confidence and self esteem that I need to have in order to be strong and take care of my family. Please don't put yourself on the back burner, it won't help you or your family. You will be in my prayers.
                sigpic starting 12/26/2008


                Judy~in~TN


                40, female, college student, 3 kids
                HW: 187
                sw181/cw139/gw120
                Height 5'3"
                re-started Atkins 12/26/08

                I have lost 5 pounds 8 times!
                I need to lose 5 pounds 4 more times to reach my goal!

                Mini Goal 1: 175 met 1/09/2009
                Mini Goal 2: 170 met 2/02/2009
                Mini Goal 3: 165 met 2/22/2009
                Mini Goal 4: 160 met 4/15/2009
                Mini Goal 5: 155 met 7/25/2009
                Mini Goal 6: 150 met 8/17/2009
                Mini Goal 7: 145 met 9/14/2009
                Mini Goal 8: 140 met 11/08/2009
                Mini Goal 9: 135
                Mini Goal 10: 130
                Mini Goal 11: 125
                FINAL GOAL: 120
















                Comment

                • #9
                  Re: Need support... and to fess up... I feel out of control...

                  I am sincerely sorry about the news you and your family has received regarding your father. I am a daddy's girl as well and a father means so much to his daughter and vice versa. I feel your pain. I just want you to remember that you too are someone else's world and from the love I see in your post a wonderful mother...your family and friends deserve a healthy you as well as you deserving your father. If you can and if I may be so blunt, be healthy...eat healthy..because you do not want to take years from your family either. Believe me when I say that I feel some of your pain, my father is a coal miner and with that comes health issues and we are facing them. I know how hard it is to see anything but that wonderful man and what he is going through and thinking what you may one day go without. But please think of yourself and if that really isn't possible, I will think of you. My thoughts and prayers are with you and your entire family along with my faith.
                  Starting weight: 215

                  Mini Goal 1: 200 lbs-Met 10/19/09
                  Mini Goal 2: 185 lbs.
                  Mini Goal 3: 175 lbs.
                  Goal: 160 lbs.








                  Comment

                  • #10
                    Re: Need support... and to fess up... I feel out of control...

                    I am so terribly sorry to hear about your Dad. I lost my husband in sudden and unexplained circumstances almost 6 months ago and believe me when I say I understand that feeling of helplessness and losing control. A widow at 33 years old.

                    But for your healths sake and the sake of your family, you must take yourself in hand now and stop eating bad carbs. Self destruction will only make things worse in the long run and you may need your good health and strength for what lies ahead.

                    Trust me, as grim as the future looks now...it is TOTALLY worth staying on track for the big picture. I'm sure Dad wants only the best for his girl and would want you to remain strong. Take care and you'll be in my thoughts.

                    -T
                    This month's challenges: 1 2




                    Mini Goal:

                    130 kg

                    Comment

                    • #11
                      Re: Need support... and to fess up... I feel out of control...

                      I know when things are so out of our hands some sort of control is nice to have. Your way of eating & taking care of yourself. That is something only you can control. But also I understand that if you do not have your mind set for this way of eating... it can be so hard at times. We will always be here...now or in the future.
                      My prayers are with you and your family.
                      Shauna
                      How does one become a butterfly?
                      You must want to fly so much that you're willing to give up being a caterpillar.

                      Shauna
                      re-Start Weight: 250 lbs. 01/08/10
                      240 lbs.
                      230 lbs.
                      220 lbs.
                      GW 145


                      Comment

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