Help i'm starting again after 2 years

[EverLosing]

Re: Help i'm starting again after 2 years

>> frankly after 2yrs why does it matter?>>

So that someone doesn't repeat the same mistakes.

That's all.

Support comes in many ways, you know!

Support may come in many forms, atkinsgal08, but generally in the human experience, negativity and alienation is not considered support. Actually, it's about as supportive as a broken underwire from a bra sticking one in the ribs. Here's a fact for you. Five people, at this point, have posted in this thread. Four people were offended by your version of support. This is not a new thing and it's hard on other long timers here to follow negative posts around this board and try to be extra supportive of newbies to encourage them to stay after they've been offended.

Say what you must but I think it's obvious by the OP's responses to the actual supportive posts, that is what we're here for.

[Sarina D]

Re: Help i'm starting again after 2 years

Thank you ozlover. I didn't want to say anything but I was getting a little upset . Actually, i'm back and I need support . That is all that I need and what. Thankkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkk you for your positive support. Please tell me how to get started on the roll call thing. That sounds great! people like me lets me know that I made the right decision in coming back

You know what...my mother always said to me...in one in and out the other. The most important thing is that you are back....sometimes when we say we need support....early on we can not pin point what kind of support we need and that is ok.....through the days and weeks to come, areas will become evident where you're able to say "this is the kind of support I need" and you log in and express your new discovery. In the meantime just saying "I need support" is a great step. It is a way to reach out and say "I'm here and I need help". Rome wasn't built in one day let alone a week.....so if you can't express the kind of support you need that's ok. There are plenty of us here that have been here for a longtime and recognize that sometimes when someone says they need support....the support can be simply making a point to reach out and say hello when we see each other online and wish each other a great day....as we all get to know one another we will recognize other areas we can give support in.

BBbaby, this is my 2nd time around as well and you know what? I'm STILL a work in progress and I STILL don't have it all figured out but there are a few things I have thankfully learned this time around and some I have learned the hard way but nonetheless grateful for the learning.

Some of the things I have learned are these:

1) I deserve to be healthy

2) I can not change anyone but myself (no matter how much I want someone to like or love me) If they don't like or love me....that's their loss (Ok, I was being cheeky with that last part).

3) To keep getting up when I fall

4) Not to be too proud to ask for help when I need it (I'm still struggling with this one (Thanks to everyone who reached out to me this week when I went missing in action)

5) To express myself.

You know, I have lost 235 lbs in a year and six months...one would THINK I have it figured out.....yes, I have learned a number of things but I could easily slip and keep slipping away if I didn't pull myself up and keep going. In fact....I slipped very badly this week but you know what....I am back and in the process I learned something else this week which I didn't identify prior to this slip....so, the reason I share this is because there are times that will be tough but please, I urge you to keep getting up, reaching out and continually problem solve along the way and do not become discouraged by what others may say or how they come across or what they might not say....you are here and we are very pleased that you are.

We're right here behind you and we're all learning along the way. Hold your head up high, celebrate that you are back on track and walk along with us....we'll get to our goals together and we are a "family" of sorts who care for one another and we need your support, friendship and encouragement just as much as you need ours.

Thank you for reaching out, I look forward to taking this walk with you.

Sarina

[bombaybaby]

Re: Help i'm starting again after 2 years

You guys are sweet. Thank you from the bottom of my heart. You guys made me cry from joy really! I need to get healthy I have two teen boys and have been over weight my whole life. I enjoy food to the extreme. I'm addicted. I love food. I just want to stick to this plan and be happier with myself. Thanks again for all of the positive feed back. I will check in everyday. I need someone to check in with me everyday or I who know 's what may happen.? Life takes you away to deep places and you fall off the wagon. So again thanks I just need a shoulder to lean on until I get it together.

[atkinsgal08]

Re: Help i'm starting again after 2 years

>>negativity and alienation is not considered support.>>

I wasn't being negative at all. I'm sorry you took it that way.

>>Four people were offended by your version of support.>>

Having read this thread numerous times, I don't see that. However, I defer to your expertise in knowing what other people meant.

I'll trouble this topic or the OP no more.

[bombaybaby]

Re: Help i'm starting again after 2 years

Hi Atkingal
Please lets move on. I was offended and was thinking of not comming on here again and was going to go to another area. Thank God all of the other people stepped in and said something. It is super hard changing your mind set . When carbs have been a part of your whole life . Really your given carbs from a baby not protein. Think about that. On top of my eatting I have had a super stressed year. deaths, moving dealing with school and the list goes on and on. So I came back to get help and support.

[Skeptika23]

Re: Help i'm starting again after 2 years

Hi Atkingal
Please lets move on. I was offended and was thinking of not comming on here again and was going to go to another area. Thank God all of the other people stepped in and said something. It is super hard changing your mind set . When carbs have been a part of your whole life . Really your given carbs from a baby not protein. Think about that. On top of my eatting I have had a super stressed year. deaths, moving dealing with school and the list goes on and on. So I came back to get help and support.

She may come off as blunt sometimes, but Atkinsgal08 does offer very good advice, and I suggest you listen to her. Sometimes what we need to hear is not the same thing as what we want to hear.

I think she's right in stating that you should examine why you changed from Atkins in the first place, and be aware of it this time around, so you can be successful. As an ex-smoker, I can say that this advice really works for those sorts of addictions - most addicts, as you call yourself, need to go through this process so that we don't repeat our mistakes.

We're here to help, of course, but only you can make the decision to change your way of eating and way of life. You are not helpless in this, and DANDR 2002 offers you a good chance to take control, IF you decide stick to it.

I think that's one of the best things about this WOL - the control aspect. You learn how to have control over your eating choices over time so that you have tools to prevent spiraling out of control into poor choices that will only hurt you.

Good luck and good planning!

[Georgiana]

Re: Help i'm starting again after 2 years

Bombaybaby, I strongly encourage you to take Atkinsgal08's advice, even if it is not always the kind of support you are comfortable with.

There is nothing offensive in being asked why you stopped Atkins. I am positive the question was not intended to put you down. It was a constructive advice meant to help you not repeat your mistake(s). As for the answer to the question, you might think it's something simple, like "I was stressed out with exams"... but if you are an addicted eater (as you say you are) and have been always struggling with your weight (as you say you have), then the real answer is more difficult to find... and I'm pretty sure you don't know it now. Nevertheless, it's an essential question if you want to break the cycle of starting, cheating, stopping, gaining weight, restarting, losing some weight, cheating, restarting, etc.

I know nothing about you other than what you posted at ADBB... but think about it for a second. How many times before did you restart Atkins and were told what you wanted to hear or what you thought you "needed" to hear? At least twice. And did this help you be successful on Atkins? Not long term, right?

I have a friend who signs all his posts with, "Motivation is Temporary; Inspiration is Permanent". Hearing what you want to hear in terms of encouragement can be very motivating. And that's not a bad thing. Yet, it is often incomplete.

who know 's what may happen.? Life takes you away to deep places and you fall off the wagon.

"Life" is a pretty abstract notion, so blaming "life" for falling off the wagon absolves you of any guilt. What I think it also does is to hold you back from figuring out the real problem. Truth is, "life" happens, whether you like it or not. As long as your eating is strongly tied to "life" (that is, emotions), making any way of eating a permanent lifestyle change is going to be extremely difficult. Planning your meals at least a day in advance can help you untie... or at least loosen up... "life" from your eating. Do you have a plan for today? Do you have one for tomorrow?

You can start a journal at fitday.com to keep track of all your foods. If you are unsure whether your menus are okay, you can make your FitDay account public and we can take a look.

[sham]

Re: Help i'm starting again after 2 years

Hi Bombaybaby are you posting from India?
Anyway welcome to you.You have done the diet and lost it before but like Atkinsgal08 said you have to acess why you put the weight on,whats your new plan,and how sure you are that you will maintain it and that it wont be a quick fix like before.You need to be 100% committed and ready for this lifestyle.
I do hope you succeed this time round and that your in on it for the long run.All the best.

[adreliluc]

Re: Help i'm starting again after 2 years


Just wanted to say hello and welcome!!

I don't know Atkinsgal but I really think people take her wrong. I don't think she meant to offend you! However, I do think some stuff comes off a bit harsh, but it's hard to 'read' people sometimes, so try not to get worked up. Remember we're all here with the best intentions and want to help and see each other succeed!!

I do think that figuring out why you got off track can help because it'll only make you that much stronger next time.

For me- I got off Atkins because I was just so tired of it! I was very bored with my food and got sick of hearing comments from people. I wanted more freedom.

I got the freedom but gained in the process!

So now I know to really work on getting plenty of variety and finding new foods and recipes instead of sticking with my same ol' same ol'. ... and of course to just ignore everybody who has something negative to say and give them the finger if I have to. hehe

Anyway, welcome aboard!! We're very happy to have you!