Tweet
RaVae here,
I’m a recovering food addict. Here’s a little of what my life use to be like.
I knew that food played an important role in my life. I was even willing to admit that many times it was number one and often controlled me. I remember one of my last binges, maybe my last, my memory around food is oftentimes hazy. I was taking a class at the local college. I weighed over 200 lbs at the time, and was getting ready to take the 20-minute drive home. I was hungry. I was always hungry, and needed a little something to tide me over until I could get home for lunch so I decided to buy a large two scoop ice cream cone (the thought of a single never entered my mind. That only lasted for the first third of the drive. (Keep in mind my drive home was only 20 minutes) Then I stopped at another fast food place and ordered a burger, fries and a “diet pop.” Now, how I thought diet pop was going to help, I don’t know. While I was waiting for it to be prepared, which seemed like an eternity, I went next door to the little grocery store and purchased a couple of candy bars to help me make it until my hamburger was done. At this point, my memory became hazy as it often did during binges, so I don’t remember if I ate more or not.
From about the ages of 13 to 33, when I started my food recovery, all my waking and many of my sleeping hours were spent in a life threatening battle between primarily two thoughts: one is how to get food, and the other how to stay away from it. For me, one was just as dangerous as the other because both blocked out what life is really about, which is those I love.
That was 20 years ago.
I’m a recovering food addict. Here’s a little of what my life use to be like.
I knew that food played an important role in my life. I was even willing to admit that many times it was number one and often controlled me. I remember one of my last binges, maybe my last, my memory around food is oftentimes hazy. I was taking a class at the local college. I weighed over 200 lbs at the time, and was getting ready to take the 20-minute drive home. I was hungry. I was always hungry, and needed a little something to tide me over until I could get home for lunch so I decided to buy a large two scoop ice cream cone (the thought of a single never entered my mind. That only lasted for the first third of the drive. (Keep in mind my drive home was only 20 minutes) Then I stopped at another fast food place and ordered a burger, fries and a “diet pop.” Now, how I thought diet pop was going to help, I don’t know. While I was waiting for it to be prepared, which seemed like an eternity, I went next door to the little grocery store and purchased a couple of candy bars to help me make it until my hamburger was done. At this point, my memory became hazy as it often did during binges, so I don’t remember if I ate more or not.
From about the ages of 13 to 33, when I started my food recovery, all my waking and many of my sleeping hours were spent in a life threatening battle between primarily two thoughts: one is how to get food, and the other how to stay away from it. For me, one was just as dangerous as the other because both blocked out what life is really about, which is those I love.
That was 20 years ago.
...Was in HEAVEN -got to 150, for awhile, then got too busy, and gave in too much... and... OK holding pattern "keep it together..." 
Misty
Comment