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I can't live morbidly obese - here's why
Just a reminder to myself why the pizza and ice cream just ain't worth it:
When the nurse at the doctor's office weighs me, she seems depressed when telling me I'm 378.
Then my nurse has to get the "special extra large" blood pressure arm wrap because I'm too fat for the normal one. One nurse even said she couldn't feel my pulse, which is PATHETIC for me to be that large.
She also can't take my blood through a vein in my arm, because nobody can find it. So a "special nurse" came in, and finally used the back of my hand.
I'm on several different kinds of high blood pressure medication.
My computer chair wheels broke from the weight of my fatness, so the legs are sitting on books now.
I can't climb the ladder to change my smoke alarm battery because I'd snap the ladder in half. Had to pay the kid next door to come over and do it.
I pay a lawn guy to do my mowing and weed control, because I don't want to be seen outside.
I check my mailbox at night when everyone else is indoors.
I pre-tie my shoes because I can't really bend down to tie them.
The checkout girl at the grocery store laughs at me to her friends when I'm in line.
Cutting my toenails is an epic adventure, and makes me tired.
I have constant headaches.
My car squeaks when I get in, and the tires make noise from the extra weight.
I sleep 10 hours a night, and I could easily sleep more because I hate waking up.
I can't fit in restaurant booths, so I'm restricted to ones with tables.
My self confidence went from unmoving to being hesitant to leave the house, because I know the horrible looks I'll receive.
Can't play guitar outdoors because I sweat so much it becomes a hindrance.
People look at me with pity.
Every woman that's opened my eHarmony profile immediately closed me after seeing the picture.
My clothes cost twice as much at the Big and Tall store.
My shower floor makes horrible noises when I get in from the weight. Eventually I think I'll just break the plastic.
Bending over to pick things up is a challenge, I mostly leave any change I drop just sitting there.
My shirt comes unbuttoned from the stress on it. I'm constantly checking it to ensure it's not open.
I have to wear undershirts, even under t-shirts.
I look forward to winter, so I can hide my body.
My legs and arms fall asleep constantly.
ATTENTION JOHN: YOU CAN'T LIVE LIKE THAT.
Do you really want to experience all that crap again? You're an embarrassment.
Read this again and again if you feel the urge to cheat, or order a pizza. Read it before working out. Now hit that treadmill.
When the nurse at the doctor's office weighs me, she seems depressed when telling me I'm 378.
Then my nurse has to get the "special extra large" blood pressure arm wrap because I'm too fat for the normal one. One nurse even said she couldn't feel my pulse, which is PATHETIC for me to be that large.
She also can't take my blood through a vein in my arm, because nobody can find it. So a "special nurse" came in, and finally used the back of my hand.
I'm on several different kinds of high blood pressure medication.
My computer chair wheels broke from the weight of my fatness, so the legs are sitting on books now.
I can't climb the ladder to change my smoke alarm battery because I'd snap the ladder in half. Had to pay the kid next door to come over and do it.
I pay a lawn guy to do my mowing and weed control, because I don't want to be seen outside.
I check my mailbox at night when everyone else is indoors.
I pre-tie my shoes because I can't really bend down to tie them.
The checkout girl at the grocery store laughs at me to her friends when I'm in line.
Cutting my toenails is an epic adventure, and makes me tired.
I have constant headaches.
My car squeaks when I get in, and the tires make noise from the extra weight.
I sleep 10 hours a night, and I could easily sleep more because I hate waking up.
I can't fit in restaurant booths, so I'm restricted to ones with tables.
My self confidence went from unmoving to being hesitant to leave the house, because I know the horrible looks I'll receive.
Can't play guitar outdoors because I sweat so much it becomes a hindrance.
People look at me with pity.
Every woman that's opened my eHarmony profile immediately closed me after seeing the picture.
My clothes cost twice as much at the Big and Tall store.
My shower floor makes horrible noises when I get in from the weight. Eventually I think I'll just break the plastic.
Bending over to pick things up is a challenge, I mostly leave any change I drop just sitting there.
My shirt comes unbuttoned from the stress on it. I'm constantly checking it to ensure it's not open.
I have to wear undershirts, even under t-shirts.
I look forward to winter, so I can hide my body.
My legs and arms fall asleep constantly.
ATTENTION JOHN: YOU CAN'T LIVE LIKE THAT.
Do you really want to experience all that crap again? You're an embarrassment.
Read this again and again if you feel the urge to cheat, or order a pizza. Read it before working out. Now hit that treadmill.
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