It's not the food - it's the GUILT!

[LunaWillowalker]

Hi friends. Luna here. I am having wonderful results with my program so far. My weight has consistently dropped and the inches are remarkable. I've lost 5" off my waist in a little over a month (I now *have* a waist - who knew??)

Even though I am fairly new - I do feel I have something to share. I have been reading several posts on here about others who have felt like they over-ate "allowed" foods & felt like they cheated & screwed up - or had too many ounces of cheese - or too much bacon & screwed up - etc. The feeling of guilt hits strong and I read that many people end up feeling weak and defeated - worried they are unable to stick with this way of eating. That feeling of guilt & failure is HUGE and I belive is the cause of many people not giving this program the time & dedication it really needs.

So what's Luna's words of wisdom? I do not believe that it's ANY over-eating of the allowed food that causes failure - it's the GUILT associated with the eating. If I had a nickle for each time on past weight loss programs that I had a temporary moment of weakness - then followed by - "Well, I messed up - might as well keep on messing up and get back on track later" - I'd be rich.

Needless to say - prior to THIS way of eating (Atkins) - this "all or nothing" mentality had me falling off programs and feeling totally weak & worthless - not to mention GAINING more WEIGHT.

So what's different now? I have an excellent buddy system. My hero is a guy I work with (sort of my Atkins mentor.) We hang out a lot together. With our jobs - we often end up in social situations like mixers & on the road eating w/ sales presentations and such.

In the beginning of my Atkins journey, I would often worry & obsess that I screwed up - "oh - I had too much cheese, oh - I had too much chicken" - etc. Well, having this terrific bud - who has had outstanding success on Atkins - tell me - don't worry - no big deal - just keep going - you're *still* on the program.

I've listened to him - followed his lead - and yup - I've continued to lose weight steadily. Plus - as time goes by - I find this way of eating is getting easier and easier. My portions - over the past month & 1 week - are almost half of what they were in my initial period of induction - but keep in mind - the induction DID the trick and got me losing. On my EXTENDED induction - my appetite is now truly suppressed and I feel good eating less - plus - I believe my body is now REALLY getting used to this new life style.

Finally- those occassional guilt trips of - "Oh- I *really* screwed up" are now a thing of the past. If I find my self feeling particularly hunger - I eat - something on our allowed list - just a small portion - and immediately feel much better.

Wrapping this all up - I am saying goodby to guilt and hello to a positive attitude - and this whole way of eating really DOES work and gets much easier with as time goes by. Give yourselves time - don't panic - and the rewards will come!

[CherTLC4u]

Bravo!!!! I couldnt have said it better myself!!!

[michele4ad]

Great Advice!

Michele

[Effie]

I think you've nailed it. :clapping There is also a LOT of discussion on this board about cheating, and what's considered a planned cheat and what, if anything, is an acceptable cheat. I'm not saying that anyone should be allowed to cheat, but I think that sometimes the hardcore attitude of those that say "never ever cheat, and if you do, you're not following Atkins" is causing that guilt in other people.

I think we need to get rid of the word "cheat" altogether. Somedays we have more carbs than we wanted to have, but that's just a learning process for us in finding our CCLL. I totally with you that guilt can cause that "all or nothing" attitude, which can be devastating to ANY plan (weight loss or not).

Life is going to get in the way of this WOE all the time, but I refuse for this WOE to get in the way of my life.

[Finelly]

<applauding>

People get so wound up in the "shoulds" and "shouldn'ts" that they confuse terms.

A cheat is when you eat a forbidden food.

If you eat slightly more carbs than usual or you eat more cheese than supposed to, or more calories than you think you should, that's not a cheat. That's a natural misalignment. We aren't going to hit the mark every day. Some days I only eat 10 carbs. Others I might be 22. <shrug> I eat more dairy products than most, because I don't eat much meat. Doesn't stop me from losing or feeling great! Nor does it make me think I've blown it!

[FightingTheFight]

I've lost 5" off my waist in a little over a month (I now *have* a waist - who knew??)

Must be nice! lol Hardest spot for me to get rid of :anger

[BreakfastSurreal]

I think you've nailed it. :clapping There is also a LOT of discussion on this board about cheating, and what's considered a planned cheat and what, if anything, is an acceptable cheat. I'm not saying that anyone should be allowed to cheat, but I think that sometimes the hardcore attitude of those that say "never ever cheat, and if you do, you're not following Atkins" is causing that guilt in other people.

I think we need to get rid of the word "cheat" altogether. Somedays we have more carbs than we wanted to have, but that's just a learning process for us in finding our CCLL. I totally with you that guilt can cause that "all or nothing" attitude, which can be devastating to ANY plan (weight loss or not).

Life is going to get in the way of this WOE all the time, but I refuse for this WOE to get in the way of my life.

I couldn't agree more with this!

[Finelly]

The reason that this board is so strict is because SOOOO many people want to play around with the basic rules. I can't tell you the number of times I've seen posts of people insisting that frankenfoods are ok, that the shakes are an acceptable meal substitute, that they HATE all veggies and thus won't eat them, but still think they're doing Atkins!

I don't think we should eliminate the word "cheat", just recognize what it really is: A deliberate or inadvertent consumption of the wrong foods. Then maybe the word "accident" or "blip" for the occasional going over the prescribed carb amounts, etc.

This wouldn't, imho, apply to the problem of going over the percentage recommendations for protein, carbs and fats, since a lot of us eat more fats than that due to dietary restrictions, and/or consume more fats because it helps us lose.

[Effie]

The reason that this board is so strict is because SOOOO many people want to play around with the basic rules. I can't tell you the number of times I've seen posts of people insisting that frankenfoods are ok, that the shakes are an acceptable meal substitute, that they HATE all veggies and thus won't eat them, but still think they're doing Atkins!

I don't think we should eliminate the word "cheat", just recognize what it really is: A deliberate or inadvertent consumption of the wrong foods. Then maybe the word "accident" or "blip" for the occasional going over the prescribed carb amounts, etc.

This wouldn't, imho, apply to the problem of going over the percentage recommendations for protein, carbs and fats, since a lot of us eat more fats than that due to dietary restrictions, and/or consume more fats because it helps us lose.

Oh, I agree. I love that this board is so strict. I even wrote a post about this (that ended up getting locked because someone adamantly disagreed with me), saying that the first time I tried Atkins, I hated this board because I thought you were all a bunch of Atkins-nazis who wouldn't let me do Atkins "my own way". Needless to say, I didn't stay on the progam. But, now that I have a better understanding of it, I know that being strict and doing the program as written is the only way to do it.

My point about the cheating is that sometimes, to some people, it's gonna happen, and if we're too busy being strict and reprimanding people who screw up, we're going to come across as unsupportive. That's not good. This piggy backs with Luna's original post, because we need to treat others with respect just as much as we treat ourselves with respect. Part of the reason every other "diet" failed (or why I stopped working those other programs) was because I'd screw up, beat myself up, and then quit. There's no room for guilt anymore. We're on a long-term journey for success with no plans to stop. If Atkins really is a way of life, we need to learn to deal with the blips or the cheats and move-on.

[Finelly]

I just have to tell you, when I first saw this post, I thought it said "QUILT" instead of guilt........

[CherTLC4u]

Finelly .... me too!!! LOLOLOLOL!!!!

[LunaWillowalker]

I've lost 5" off my waist in a little over a month (I now *have* a waist - who knew??)

Must be nice! lol Hardest spot for me to get rid of :anger

Oh - thanks - I am pleasantly surprised by the loss of inches on the waist - BUT - I do say - I have weird fat hanging on in other places.

Sad but true - I am holding on to fat on my upper back & upper arms - sometimes - I feel like "Bluto" from the old Pop-eye cartoons. Cleavage is great - BACK cleavage is GROSS! Ugh - there is NOTHING worse than fat upper arms and a chucky back - and trying to wear summer clothes - you know sleeveless & such. As a chick - I can hide a world of problems with the right clothes - but going to outdoor events in this summer heat - truly has me bummed. I am going to beef up my cardio and start doing weight training to work on getting rid of this upper body thickness.

Good luck with your abs - I am sure in time things will all pull together!

[Finelly]

Oh, me too. I can deal with the heavy thighs and hips and waist. The upper body kills me. The lumpy bulges at the sides of my breasts, the BEEFY upper arms.....

<sob> Well, I know that the last time around, that all-but disappeared, so I'll keep on truckin!

[Iapetus999]

I think "cheating" is like porn...I know it when I see it. :nod

Technically speaking...cheating is eating enough carbs to throw you out of ketosis and sometimes making you feel sick...or eating more than the 20 (or in OWL whatever level) carbs you're allowed to. Note that Atkins allows you to go up in carbs on one day if you compensate the next day (in moderation :raving )

But there's the "emotional" cheating as well...deliberately sabotaging yourself for a quick emotional high it gives you...followed by hours of guilt.
I think it comes from a sense of feeling down and needing something to make yourself feel better...so you turn to hi-carb food. Sort of a self-medication. I also believe in "carb addiction" when people actually feel withdrawel if they don't eat enough carbs.

So it's a pretty complicated issue.
:confused