Introducing SuperFat!

[Simone]

Superfat is a personality that lives within me. I have tried to kill her all my life. She is responsible for my poor self image, my lack of completion ability and my over all lack of confidence in my potential. Even when I know that I a smart, looking great and loved, she will show up and make me feel stupid, fat and unwanted. While losing weight and feeling better she loses power. Today she was resusitated.

I went for an MRI on the German economy. I am Closterphobic first of all and I had a panic attack when the rolled me in to the machine. But amongst the heavy breathing, screaming and tears, I heard the nurse say "grossen, grossen" "fraus ich grossen" That means big! I was too big for the machine. They didn't have to sedate me because my fat butt wouldn't fit in the machine correctly anyway. As I lay there praying that they let me out soon, between tears, I imagined that the machine was a coffin and that I would be buried alive.

And that is exactly how I feel as a fat person. Buried alive. No one can hear the real me beating on the top of the coffin asking to be released because I really want to live. I really want to live. Not just exist, but live. I want to experience life without fears and setbacks and sadness. I want to live.

Now back to SuperFat. She is a superZero in my mind telling me I cannot succeed. She has been around my entire life. There is a SHERO that exists inside that battles her daily. Sometimes SHE wins and sometimes SF wins. Today...I want to begin the long, hard climb out of the coffin of obesity into the marvelous life of health.....

DAY 2 menu on the way...

[Moochiecat]

:hug
We are our own worst enemies, aren't we?

I can't begin to tell you how much I've learned about myself through this last year on Atkins. It's an amazing journey, and you've just got to take it day by day.
I just always felt I was destined to be overweight..that some people were thin and some were fat, and I was one of the fat ones.

I've lived in dread of being in a restaurant and realizing that all the tables were filled and that there was no clear way to comfortably walk out. The pain I'd feel when I would stand up and people around me automatically started scootching their chairs in so that the fat lady could get by.

Or going into a store with one of those turnstiles and feeling it press both the front and the back of me as I squeezed through.

Or being on a bus or a plane and trying to suck it all in so the person next to me didn't feel cramped.

Or last year, when I had a CAT scan and they told me they couldn't see anything because of my obesity....that was the kicker that got me going on Atkins, because I was forced to look at what I had turned into.

Sometimes we have to hit a really awful low to motivate us to start climbing up. ...and you've started climbing up now! :joy and you have all the potential inside of you to squelch SuperFat and kick her butt to the curb. :yes
When she starts nattering at you, stop (literally stop moving..make it a real physical reaction) and think about how thinking negatively like that serves absolutely no purpose whatsoever, and start thinking of ways to think that uplift you and make you feel good about yourself.
Start thinking about your new alter ego SuperHealthy!! :icondance What would she say? She'd say "You can do it!!"...and you know what?
You can do it..and you will do it!

Do your homework...read DANDR, use Fitday to help you with your foods

http://www.atkinsdietbulletinboard.com/viewtopic.php?t=66107

read the stickys in the forums, drink your water, and keep posting about how you're doing! Helping support others can do wonders for how you feel about yourself as well...and you'll soon find out that you aren't the only one feeling like this...you are not alone. :hug

[Sirine]

Hi ladies...

I too remember those awful days...Just remember your doing something about it and that takes a lot of strength and courage..Hooray for us!!! :icondance

I am very proud of you and everyone else on this board :hug

Sirine

[Iapetus999]

Just one day, one meal at a time is all it takes.
Even if you feel like cheating sometime...just do it tomorrow. Just for today stick to the plan.

After a few weeks/months/years it become a habit. But there is a superfat lurking in all of us. It's a part of who I am, even today. But I just eat right & exercise and SF just stays dormant.

[maribelle]

:hug :hug :hug :hug :hug :hug :hug
I am SO sorry you had to go through that! Germans can be SO blunt! I'm German, and my last name was GROSS before I got married, so you can just imagine!

Yes, we have to conquer that fat self image we have, or we could end up sabatouging ourselves! WE CAN DO IT!!!

[New_Me_In_2005]

The best advice I can give is to start living by your signature - "I can do all things through Christs, who strengthens me. "

[New_Me_In_2005]

Look at your signature, "I can do all things through Christs, who strengthens me. "

[cesara]

I can certianly relate as when I fly, my butt can BARELY fit into the seat with the arms down not to mention the seat belt has to be completely extended to get around my tummy.

Don't worry...you'll be fitting anywhere you want to before long!! :joy

[queenpooch]

Re: Introducing SuperFat!

That was well said, Simone. Some of my most painful fat moments have been in a doctor's office or during a procedure of some kind.

Moochiecat is right - it takes hitting bottom (I'm paraphrasing) in order to head back up. Addiction experts will tell you that too. An addict/alcoholic has to hit bottom in order to realize he or she needs to change.

My low point was at a PTA meeting last year in my then-high-school-senior's homeroom class. We had to sit at their desks for the meeting. You guessed it - I got stuck. Two other parents had to pull the chair part of the desk off my rear end. I acted like I thought it was funny - and it was pretty comical - but my tears of laughter were really tears of pain and humiliation. To make things worse, an old boyfriend was one of the parents in the meeting. I sat in the very back of the room so he wouldn't recognize me. He definitely saw me and I can still remember the look of pity on his face.


That was hitting bottom for me (no pun intended) That experience gave me a sense of resolve. I started working out and walking after that, although I didn't really diet. I just started eating healthier foods and taking a lot of supplements. I lost a little weight, but had too much appetite. Atkins is the answer for that.

Anyway, I have a fantasy about running in to that old boyfriend one day with my new body. I even fantasize about the outfit I'll be wearing. Funny what motivates us.

Blessings to all.
46 yr old F 5'8"
242 SW 235 CW 140 GW

"A dream is just a goal without a deadline."

[Legal_Eagle]

Re: Introducing SuperFat!

she's that awful voice in your head, and although it is cheesy perhaps,I harken the advice of dr. phil- you can only replace bad voices with good voices- bad habits with good habits- find a good voice, a person who takes an honest appraisal of you as a human being, and listen to it beat the crap out of SuperFat.