pics posted! boyfriend's mother is SO unsupportive!

[stellar_stina]

Below are two pictures of myself. the one to the left was taken about two years ago and about a month before I entered recovery for anorexia. The one to the right was taken on July 4th of this year. It was really hard for me to post these pictures.. just because it has been a long struggle to accept myself and the gaining weight process that goes along with recovery. it's hard to look at pictures of myself from my eating disorder days. but everyone seems so nice and supportive here so I'm not very worried! I have spoken with my therapist and she says as long as I dont go under 110 on atkins, she thinks it's a great idea to get into a healthier lifestyle.

As for my boyfriend's mother.. well, him and I live together and have for about a year of our relationship. He is romanian and his mother barely speaks english and is VERY strict and very much believes in the romanian lifestyle. She cooks alllll day, and makes several romanian dishes... dont get me wrong, it is DELICIOUS food. But it's food that is so high in carbs and cals and fats, extremely high. I attempted to let her know I am going on a strict low-carb diet, and she completely refused to accept it. She takes offense when people dont eat her food, and she is the type that cooks as if she is feeding 50 people and she will keep spooning food ony our plate until you feel like you are going to explode.

I have talked to my boyfriend on this, and he completely has my back.. but it's hard, I dont know how to get her to accept this. we go there every weekend, and I know it's going to be tough. anyone have somewhat of the same issue? any suggestions?

I do love the woman, and my boyfriend is the one I plan on being with for forever, so a relationship with his mother is important to me.. I just don't know what to do..

[Lisa M]

Re: pics posted! boyfriend's mother is SO unsupportive!

Beautiful picture, btw.

The language barrier and customs of others sometimes gets in the way. I would suggest that perhaps your boyfriend could tell his mom that it's your custom to eat LC for a better health life style, and it's not meant to offend her in any way. If it wouldn't offened her, I wonder if you could get creative with her and make some of her dishes LC? There's a lot of recipes on the net with making carbloaded foods low or lower carbed.

Hang in there. You're doing a great job sticking with what's best and healthy for you.

[not2late]

Re: pics posted! boyfriend's mother is SO unsupportive!

Hi and welcome.

First off you look great in your recent pic. Secondly, it's tough dealing with folks who don't understand the diet and how it works. Perhaps your boyfriend can talk to his mom and explain it to her?

Thirdly, how tall are you?

[Finelly]

Re: pics posted! boyfriend's mother is SO unsupportive!

My late mother in law was Romanian, and also didn't speak English (or much Hebrew, and they lived in Israel). She, too, had this thing about feeding people. She would literally follow me around with a plate of cake, asking me "nu vrei simonench?" and I would say "nu, nu vrow simonench". I just kept telling her no, and eventually she accepted that I was sort of eccentric about not wanting to be constantly eating.

Smile a lot, be affectionate, even bring her small gifts. The key is to let her know that the not eating all of her food isn't a sign of disrespect. Let her know in every other way that you enjoy her company.

[Kisseslikepearls]

Re: pics posted! boyfriend's mother is SO unsupportive!

I know I might get a little blasted for this *cowers and waits for the wet noodle*


My grandmother is Italian and has a very simular approach. Everyday the house just smells of homemade tomato sauce and pasta and bread and cookies for the grandkids. While she speaks perfect english, her and my grandfather just don't understand the words "low carb" or "not hungry". I love them to death but they are agrivating.

There's ALWAYS people there and always food needed and my grandmother's in heaven......making carb-laden food.

While it's not exactly a "kosher" approach--and I'm by no means suggesting it, just saying what I do----the food is served where its poured on a big plate and everyone helps themselves. This way, I can take a forkful of her lasanga or speghetti or bruchetta to please her and then go back to my big romaine salad with strips of her steak roll on top.

There's so many reasons why this isn't a good idea. The ones that immediately come to mind are slowing weightloss, the horrible cravings I have afterwords for more than a bite of something else, the way I feel absolutely AWFUL later because my blood sugar's wacked.....and so on and so forth.

We all make our own decisions and mine is that its easier not to argue with her. She makes everything right down to the pasta and I find it extremely rude not to at least have bite and show appriciation of her hard work. Also, once she sees me take a bite, she moves on to someone else to make sure they're eating as well.


By the way, you look absolutely gorgous!! Kudos to you!

[burtonator]

Re: pics posted! boyfriend's mother is SO unsupportive!

Yeah.. Maybe you could tell her that you think her food is WONDERFUL but that you need to eat low carb and maybe you could list the ingredients you can have an the amounts and that maybe she could help you with some recipes.

Of course some older people tend to be stubborn and she still might not budge but its worth a shot.

Kevin

[Enchantedraisin]

Re: pics posted! boyfriend's mother is SO unsupportive!

I understand

Read my old post... well not that old

http://www.atkinsdietbulletinboard.com/forums/showthread.php?t=14618

It's not so bad now because my boyfriend couldn't eat this way and gave up even though he was showing success (shakes head).

I still get little annoying comments from her though.

[Sarah1341]

Re: pics posted! boyfriend's mother is SO unsupportive!

I agree with everyone else. Maybe a heart to heart and asking for her help in developing new recipes "because you love her food so much" would help. Otherwise, I would bring an Atkins friendly dish with me to her house and say you are just trying to "help" her out with the food and thought it would be polite to bring a dish.

Wishing you the best of luck! You do look great!!!!

[godsbeloved79]

Re: pics posted! boyfriend's mother is SO unsupportive!

I hope things have gotten better???

[GeorgiaPeach]

Re: pics posted! boyfriend's mother is SO unsupportive!

Hi--I too have some quite similar pictures. I entered an inpatient treatment at about 98 lbs--in 1994. I feel that I have recovered a bit too much! Atkins works for me-have done it before--I actually do eat! I am sorry about your issue w/ boyfriend's mother--sounds cultural and there may not be an answer that will solve it. Good luck