Can't even complete day 1- feeling down

[Debismyname]

Wondering if anyone can help me out there.....i've done atkins before but have been off it now for about 3 months and gained a lot of weight (all of it and more, back).

The trouble i have now is that i can't even get one day clean. i start off with hope and positive thoughts etc, do some exercise (despite the horrible pain, headaches and yucky feeling), have some water, some vitamins and then....once i decide to eat something (atkins friendly food) i eat it but then just continue eating and eating. After working my way through atkins foods i have with me at work- i just can't stop myself from going to the coffee shop here at work or to the vending machine. Before i know it i'm eating my way through the day and get home feeling absolutely sick. This causes me so much grief and some of you may have seen my posts in the emotional eating section (I've even PM'ed some of you). I know i do emotional eating and also compulsive eating. I am trying to deal with that and will even go to a therapist....

BUT....in the meantime how can i get a clean one or two or three days done. Anyone got suggestions? Am I weak? I am so strong in so many other areas in my life but for some reason i just don't act the same in this area of my life. While i understand i need to work through whatever the issues are- i'd really love love love to get a clean few days out of the way so i don't feel so gutted, guilty, depressed and helpless at the end of each day....

Thanks to you all for listeing....

Deb

[jimmyolsenblues]

Re: Can't even complete day 1- feeling down

I think the most important thing for me is I believe in the atkins diet.
I believe that I can eat less than 20g carbs a day and lose weight.
I believe that if I concentrate on what I can eat instead of what I can't eat; I can succeed.
I am less hungry on atkins and that is amazing.
I am 38, and my whole life all I could think about was food.
I lived my life to over eat.
I have not had a piece of bread, a grain of rice, a slice of potato since sept 2nd; and yesterday at work, I can pass up free donuts and free pizza with no problem at all.
I could never do that on any other diet.

IF I can do it, anyone can.
I believe in you because I know it works for me.
Turn all your energy into believing it could work.
Whatever you fear and what ever you think is smart becomes your reality.
If you say I can't do it, you won't.
If you say how can I do it, you will.

[hrgillespie]

Re: Can't even complete day 1- feeling down

My suggestion to you would be to start on a Friday afternoon ......... eat normal at work and then start say at dinner time to be your fist induction meal ...... then excercise and go to bed early ...... sleep that first night and when you wake up in the morning you will ahve the first 18 hours under your belt cheat free allready. You will ahve all day Saturday and Sunday at home away from vending machines and coffee shops ......... stay busy stay focused. Spend the time with soneone whom you trust and who will hold you accountable ...... take tylenol when you need it for headaches and get through those first few days ..... when you get back to work on Monday you will have almost three days under your belt and ketosis should be kicking in and making it easier ......During the weekend make sure you have the foods you need avaialbe and eat when your hungry just eat legal ........ you can do it .. set our mind set your attitude and push through!!!!!!


Heidi

[LessofLisa]

Re: Can't even complete day 1- feeling down

Jimmy great post...Just believing in yourself and believing you and only you can make the change

[Brook]

Re: Can't even complete day 1- feeling down

Both of the posts above make some great suggestions.

I'm really sorry you're struggling. I understand the struggle and I understand struggling with the compulsive behavior. But the bottom line, Deb, when you remove all the excuses, "I can't"s, etc - is that you are making choices and they're self destructive choices. You have to make the choice to stop and you CAN do it. You can't kiss your elbow, it's a physical impossibility- a true can't, but you absolutely can choose to keep your butt out of the coffee shop and to say you can't isn't truthful and it's an excuse for self destructive choices.

You *are* strong. You have to be to cope with and survive with the issues you're dealing with.

When I find myself in similar cycles to what you're going through, I write down everything I put in my mouth. It impacts me way more when I have to face what I've done on paper.

Remove the word can't from your vocabularly. It's a cop-out and you're better than that.

Don't just talk about going to see a therapist, Deb. Make the appointment. Make the choice. You are worth it!!!!!!

It's not an easy road, but these are choices you are capable of making and you are strong enough and capable of doing what needs doing. You really are!



~Brook

[Hoping]

Re: Can't even complete day 1- feeling down

We all feel weak when we start our journeys. I think you're on your way to succeeding though. Obviously, you've gotten to the point where you want to do something about your weight and that is a very important step.

Now think positively. You can get back on the wagon and you can lose all of the weight you need to lose. Take one day at a time, but remember that this is a lifestyle change.

Keep posting on here. It provides great support.

[Debismyname]

Re: Can't even complete day 1- feeling down

I've just gotten into work (I live in Australia- hence the time difference) and have read what everyone had to say….thank you for your encouragement and suggestions….

I realise that the words 'I can't' are almost in every sentence I say/ write with regards to food and weight and I know that needs to change. From the past I know that I actually have been able to do atkins and exercise and resist sugary foods etc so I know what Brook means when she says that I am not facing a physical impossibility here- I'm not facing a true 'can't' situation.

Having said that, when I see that day after day after day, despite my best intentions, I keep overeating- the words 'I can't' are the first words that pop into my mind. Call it habit or call it due to what was drummed into me in the past (I'm not saying this to offer another excuse) but these words are so strongly and deeply embedded in my mind and so overwhelminingly true to me at the moment that regardless of whether they are an excuse or not, they drive and determine my behaviour. I know this sounds silly and maybe its another excuse (I mean how can thoughts drive our behaviour without us somehow letting them do so) but its very very true for me right now. Its my emotions and thoughts rather than logic that determine what I eat and how I respond…..again the words 'I can't stop this' pop into my mind

Of course I will keep trying to replace 'I can't' with healthier words such as 'I can/ I will' although this is hard given that I'm not even aware half the time that I am using this self-talk. I will also follow the advice of thinking about what I can eat (instead of what I can't). With regards to writing down what I am eating in a journal, I have tried this in the past as well as having tried making a contract with myself and keeping track of my weight etc. Whilst these suggestions have helped when things have been fine, the truth is that when I'm eating badly, having an 'I will eat healthy' contract, writing things down and/ or weighing myself, are all strategies that work against me- they just emphasize my failures (eg failure to keep to the contract, failure to eat normally and not binge and failure to lose weight). I realise that it is the way I see my failures rather than the strategies themselves that need changing, but the truth still stands that because I am heading in the wrong direction at the time, I end up feeling worse and so strategies that were meant to help me, end up working against me- The way I think about them and my failings result in the strategies offering yet another way for me to 'beat myself up'.

Does that all make sense?

I have made an appointment to see a psychologist and have been twice already (although I've seen therapists in the past on many occassions so I must admit I don't hold out much hope in this regard. Usually its losing weight that helps me although I can't even do that at the moment.)

I'm sorry if what I am saying sounds like a bunch of excuses or helpless thoughts and I'm also sorry that what I'm writing seems to be so 'flat' in mood. I can see that I'm not very hopeful at the moment but I really do want to be. I want to believe and feel in charge of my reactions, emotions etc I really do.

Maybe I just need to keep trying the strategies and trying not to focus on my big belly, etc etc etc….I'm not sure what else to do. Maybe starting Fri night (tonight) is a good idea…..thank you hrgillespie…I'll give that a try too.

Not sure what else to say here….except for thank you…..thank you so much for caring enough to reply.

Deb

[Brook]

Re: Can't even complete day 1- feeling down

((((Deb)))))

When one day at a time is seems like a mountain to climb, then you take it one hour at a time. If an hour at a time is too burdensome, then you take it one minute at a time.

Those minutes will add up to hours and the hours into days.

You are worth every single investment in yourself you make. You can do this. You really can!

[Debismyname]

Re: Can't even complete day 1- feeling down

Thank you Brook- I needed to hear that so much....hearing that, reading what others have to say and seeing the before and after photos are the only things that keep me going....

God bless you and Thank you
Deb

[deb79fl]

Re: Can't even complete day 1- feeling down

Hello from another Debbie!

You have gotten really excellent advice and words of wisdom from everyone here. I fully agree with what's been said, especially start on a Friday, have lots of induction friendly food (and initially don't worry too much about how much of that you're eating, the appetite will start to go away), and Brook's statement is the PERFECT attitude.... get through the next hour, then then day. Before you know it, you'll be two days clean, then three, then thirty! You''ll fall off plan on occasion, as most of us do, but, what I have learned is that after one week of "clean" eating, I have usually lost what I regained during this binge or planned "off plan" time and then I suddenly lose another pound and it gives me the motivation to continue. As I have read and come to accept is that this is a journey towards better health and the weight loss comes second. It will happen, just not overnight (as we all wish it would!)

Be strong, continue with your therapy and post often, so many with the same problems (on different levels) and you know you'll do better with additional support from your cyber friends!

[dreamof145]

Re: Can't even complete day 1- feeling down

You've been given great advice. Just take it day by day, (babysteps) and work on thinking and acting positive towards yourself. Keep reading the book and coming here for support. YOU CAN DO IT...you aren't alone. We are all here for you, utilize the great support here and make a committment to yourself that you are worth it and you are going to make it happen.

For every excuse you think, write it down and give it a positive alternative. Soon, it will be automatic to think the positive thoughts and apply your positive actions. It takes time, but it will happen. SMILE...you have a great support group here and people who care and want to see you succeed! Best wishes

[Debismyname]

Re: Can't even complete day 1- feeling down

Thank you 'another Deb' and Becky....i will hold on like you tell me and keep trying to improve and apply the strategies. like i have realised its not the strategies themselves that don't work but rather the way i think about them and any troubles i have following them that make them not seem to work.

This whole process is so hard and i am so glad that you guys are here....i admire the strength i see in each of you, the honesty and the genuine care and support....i feel fortunate to have found this board and hope that i never alienate anyone or bring anyone down, with my 'down' times....

i don't know what i would do without you guys.....

Thank you

[Brook]

Re: Can't even complete day 1- feeling down

Girl, if we were the fair weather friend types who bailed when the in someone's life, the only thing you'd hear around here are crickets.

Ain't gonna happen. We're here. Use the heck out of us. We'll hold your hand if you need it, we'll if ya need it, and we'll adore you the whole time.

1 minute at a time.
1 hour at a time.
1 day at a time.

You CAN!!

[D14965]

Re: Can't even complete day 1- feeling down

Hang in there DEB !!! if you give in to temptation because of something you want NOW you will never achieve what you want for your FUTURE. BE Strong and be positive and before you know it you will be heading full steam ahead towards a healthier happier you!

[CATBLUE]

Re: Can't even complete day 1- feeling down

You might want to address some key questions with your therapist..


Like...

What's the advantage to you of STAYING overweight?
Don't be flip and say nothing... We're talking about a psychological need that is fulfilled by weight gain... For me it came after my divorce. I wanted nothing to do with men and being over weight kept them at bay. I meant I didn't have to deal with passes or any other attention. When i started to recover from the devastation of my divorce I was suddenly able to control my eating.. I also came to realize that I didn't have to shut all men out.. I just had to say no to the ones I wasn't interested in.. Like eating it was my choice.

There is something that you gain from being over weight... find what it is for you and deal with that issue.

Also, know that obesity is a death sentence...
It kills your self esteem. It kills your health. It kills your happiness. It stops you from enjoying simple things in life... like going to the movies.. It isolates you from the world and from people you love. It contributes to more deaths than Cancer.. and you can't go a day without seeing some sort of news, ribbon, walk-a-thon dedicated to the cure for cancer... And yet... obesity is treated like a nasty habit like stomping kittens to death. There is little research, there is no ribbon, there is no walk-a-thon... We're societies bastard children. We are looked down on as "less than".. But we're not.. Just look at the humor, support and kindness you find here.

Know that we are here for you!! Don't let another day go by with you despising yourself.. be kind to you. Make a plan to succeed instead of a plan to fail..

Heck, I've been off the wagon for a month and have now had 4 days of clean induction. I'm down 3.5 pounds... now most of that is water and we both know it. But still it's encouraging.. Start taking the baby steps. None of us went to bed thin and woke up fat... it took time. And it will take time to go the other direction. You need to find what you are afraid of. There is something frightening about being fit that scares you... You are paying for a therapist... find that trigger and I think you will have a new life.