day 6.

[starrynight]

i had something very tramatic happen to me a few years ago. i went thru severe depression & am still dealing with it. my weight went from 145- almost 200, food was my comfort because it couldnt hurt me. i was raped by someone i barely knew.


after restarting and restarting. i am on induction for my last time; i will stick with atkins. im on day 6 & i lost 5 pounds. im pretty sure i lost incheses too....i cant really tell but i think i have hehe.

[*Emma*]

Re: day 6.

Sorry to hear of what happened to you. Congrats on the 5 pounds so far and the will power to stick with this, use this website as your tool, open a journal and become accountable to it! you can do this!

[Mirya]

Re: day 6.

GREAT BIG . Your not alone something similar happened here as well. I know its hard to get over and hard to move on, and terribly hard to trust afterward but you CAN do this. Make sure you drink enough water, take a mulltivitamin, I am not oging to say exercise cause I barely do myself, but make sure you do something to move around. I am on day 18 and I KNOW I have lost inches as I have these really bright red marks all over my lower belly hips and mid butt. I believe these are stretch marks. I know they say as you gain you stretch and as you loose the sweeling becomes visible at that point.

YOU WILL BE OK and you will do well.

[blue996]

Re: day 6.

I'm sorry to hear what happened to you but I congratulate you on wanting to lose the weight!

[APanthesilia]

Re: day 6.

Congratulations to you for your five pounds! You are certainly not alone in what you are coming through. I went through something similar myself but I have found that the things I can take control of in my life (like sticking to a weight loss plan) are the things that make me feel the most powerful and the most like I can overcome anything. I'm sure it will be the same for you. Stick with this, everyone here is so encouraging and when you feel yourself slipping remember that you are a strong person with a great support network here at this bulletin board.

[starrynight]

Re: day 6.

thanks everyone. those words are helpful. they are not like a few of my friends who just said "get over it", "let it go", "it'll be ok". i know it has been a while already but im not over it, i have to deal with my fear of getting hurt 170000 times more.

i thought i was past my period of depression; at least sorta, but i realzed im slipping back. im pushing everyone away & a few point it out to me. after what happened, as soon as i get close to a person...i step back then mke every excuse to get myself to hate them. im not ready for more people in my life. i understand its frustrating to some who really have genuine intentions with me, but it's easier said then done to "let my wall down". it's not that serious, but is...ya kno? even just one date; it's a lot im risking.

i know there isnt a quick sure fire way to get over this...but any sugggestions?

thanks you guys, i can already tell this board is great!

[ceecee29]

Re: day 6.

I don't want to be bossy and I don't want to give you platitudes-- I know you probably don't want to hear them. However, your post sounds like you are quite down on yourself and I really think that you must be gentle with yourself and take your recovery one day at a time. Every little thing you can do to nurture yourself you should do, including taking care of your body through eating well and exercising, maybe writing about your experiences, finding a professional to talk to if you think that it would help. I really feel for you but I know that you can get through this. Not to be too new age-y but our bodies have their own kind of wisdom - like when we lose weight, for example, it isn't just the fact that we "look better" that makes us happy, but also the renewed sense of vitality and energy that we get and which we can then channel back into our life and activities. Your eating can be one step on your road to recovery.
take good care of yourself
ceecee

[starrynight]

Re: day 6.

thanks ceecee29.

i did not take offense to that AT ALL or think you are being bossy. you all are helping me realize that not everyone is out to hurt someone else....emotionally or physically. You all are so helpful. Til now I thought that, 'ok its been a lil over a year...i have to get over it' because i thought i was annoying people talking about it. I like talking about it, obviously not for attention but to warn teens, parents w/ teens or anyone that it really can happen on a college campus.

[deb79fl]

Re: day 6.

Sorry to hear what you've gone through. Sad that it happens so often, too. As you can see, there are many of us that have had the same problems (different, but the same), as you. if you haven't already done so, see a therapist or counselor, find a support group through your school, etc. if possible. Just do not think you can "do it alone", find a way to heal. Unfortunately, some people are not comfortable dealing with issues like this... your "get over it" friends don't help. Everyone is different and copes differently.

You also might want to "group date", just keep things casual with a group of friends where you won't feel pressured. Just have a good time.

Good luck on your diet and know that you can reach out to others with your problems and concerns.

Also know that not everyone is like the person that hurt you! The majority of people are good. Always be cautious, but, try not to life you life in fear, otherwise, you've given this person total control over your life, as he has already taken enough!