Need alittle help

[Andrewswife]

Soooooo.....How does a person keep themselves motivated? I've been on and off induction since July, lasting 4 days at the most.

I've seen how it really works (4 days worth) but I just cant seem to get passed the hill and stay motivated. I drink my water every day but continue to eat carbs and unhealthy foods. Soda is a BIG weakness of mine.

I come to this website every day and read what everyone has to say and get motivated for about an hour and then it seems to disappear.

I hate how I feel and I hate how guilty I get after I eat. I'm OBSESSED with the scale and start to get depressed when I dont see results even though I'm not doing anything! Every time I tell my family I'm going to do Atkins and change my life they laugh and say again? And you know what hurts the most? When my family makes fun of my body. It drives me nuts. I laugh and they laugh and I know they love me, but why make someone feel so awful about themselves? My husband is great, he could care less what I look like. But its my in-laws that we live with and are hurtful.

I really want to feel better about myself but HOW does everyone stay so motivated?!

[mission to lose]

Re: Need alittle help

Hello Andrewswife,
I really don't think there is any secret to how to stay motivated. To me, I believe what matters is just how much you really want it. If you want it bad enough, it's simple...you go for it and you make it a priority. You don't make any excuses. I used to mess up when I went to a family birthday party for example because the only food to eat was bad for me. ( I was on WW then, and even though you could count points, everything was WAY too many points!)
Now here is my new way of doing things...Last Sunday there was a going away party for my cousin who is moving to the Pacific Northwest. ( I had no idea what food was to be served there, but I planned ahead. I ate a little before I left my home. Then I had to pick up my Mom and sister (50 minute drive, they didn't want to drive to the party, they are chickens when it comes to driving to far away places). When I got to my Mom's house I had a little bit to eat again.( I packed legal food in a cooler. Then we drove an hour to the party. Well sure enough, the only food I could eat at the party was some celery. And do you know what I did, every 30 minutes or so, I went out to my car and went to my cooler and had some cold chicken meat and hard boiled eggs, and a few olives!
So instead of ruining my diet at the party or not going to the party, I did what i had to so that I could stick to it, because I want it bad enough! I didn't bring the food inside because at this point I didn't care to bring attention to myself in front of "extended family", although I do eat my "special" food in front of my Mom, sisters, immediate family, etc.
So I am sorry this is so long, but I am just trying to say, don't make an excuse, if you really want to lose the weight, DO IT. If you can not stay motivated, you might not be ready. I am not saying that to discourage you, because I have been there, only you can make that decision. I am ready now, and I am going for it. I would do everything in my power to avoid exercise and now I am going to my park district gym and classes 6 days a week--- and liking it! So good luck! And Go For It!!!!

[msanjelpie]

Re: Need alittle help

First I would get off of the soda before starting on Atkins. That's a small goal and after you are off of it for a couple of weeks then you can aim for the next goal...

Once you start Atkins, put away your scale and don't get on it until day 14. Tell yourself that if you get on it you have not kept your promise to yourself to do a clean 14 day induction without cheating and without peeking at the scale. All you have to do is make it 14 days...

Don't tell your family what you are doing until you have made it to day 14. No point otherwise...

Tell us when you are off the sodas and ready to start induction and we will support you and get you past the first couple of days. Once you get into ketosis and start feeling better, you will want to keep feeling that way... but you have to get over that hump...

Make a list of all the reasons why you want to lose weight. Then pick out which one is the most important to you. Say it out loud. Say it whenever you think about quitting.

For me it's 'I don't want diabetes'... and since I'm on the verge, it works pretty good... I had to get off soda and caffeine before I could start on Atkins... too hard to do everything all at once...

You'll know when you wake up one day that THAT is the day you will start and you will be successful. You will just feel it inside that you have the power to change your life... until then just keep hanging in there. That day will come soon for you...

[tasteslikechicken]

Re: Need alittle help

Soooooo.....How does a person keep themselves motivated? I've been on and off induction since July, lasting 4 days at the most.

I’m going to share a little secret and I really hope no one gets offended… I have the picture of three fat ladies on my fridge and pantry’s doors. Not three random ladies. I’ve been going thru some stuff during the past year and two of my “fat-positive” so-called friends have deserted me. Plain and simple: we went from best friends to me being a pariah. The third one is the ex of my ex who is also into the fat-friendly movement, is a drama queen, and gets on my nerves each time I see her. I’m beyond . I’m on “I’m going to give them a real reason to talk about me behind my back” mode.

At the end of the day, my reasons for losing weight go out of the window. All I want is lo mein, scallion pancakes, chocolate, pizza, pasta, totino’s, chips with salsa, a burrito… of course I don’t have any of this stuff in my house but I keep a Chinese menu on the fridge door in case I have company. When tempted, I see their pictures and I know that I don’t want to be them in a few years (they are all older than I). Am I evil for doing this? Probably. I look at it as turning something negative (rejection, anger) into a positive (weight loss) .

Re the soda... quitting cold turkey can be hard, why don't you switch to diet soda and then start Atkins? I was addicted to diet Pepsi when I started induction, hadn't had any in 2 or 3 weeks, I wasn't even craving them (had one a couple of days ago but am off it now).

[Whatsername]

Re: Need alittle help

Great advice from the others. Its hard to explain but you do have to be ready to do it..no excuses. I did Atkins before in 2003 and it took me 6 years to be fully committed to do this again. When I started, I didn't tell ANYONE..not even my hubby and kids. I just did it. I had to see for myself how I did with induction. Once I got through induction and lost a little weight, I was able to tell them what I was doing...but I didn't tell anyone else.

I was always a big diet coke drinker but I gave that up over a short period of time before I actually started Atkins. I really try not to think about what I can't have, but instead think about what I can have.

What motivates me is my progress. I will admit, it is hard when I don't lose weight (or the few times I have gained weight) but I just have faith that I will lose again. The forums here really do motivate me a lot. But seeing the weight and inches come off and feeling better about myself, feeling in control of my eating...that keeps me going.

When I am faced with a choice, I have to think..what is honestly going to make me happier at the end of the day?

Sorry about the situation with your in-laws. Been there and done that. My MiL has never been outright hurtful but she has a way of doing underhanded things. We used to live with them and she would do things like fix dinner and give everyone average portions and give me tiny portions. She got mad at me this summer because I wanted to use my own no carb salad dressing instead of hers that had sugar in it (I was very nice about it and tried to be casual about it...I had also emailed her ahead of time and warned her I would be bringing some of my own food). It is easier now that we don't live with the in-laws, thats for sure. Overall, I just try to ignore it.

Take care and good luck!
Jane

[JulieB]

Re: Need alittle help

I have been on & off diets my whole life (Mom took me to WW the first time when I was about 5!). I keep looking back now and wondering why I am able to do now what I failed to do for the last 30 years. I'm not sure I have an answer...the only thing I can think of is that I am doing this for ME. Not for my Mom, or my sisters, or because I want men to find me attractive, or ... just for ME. I am finally! ready. I wish I could have found this in myself years ago, but I didn't - I have found it now. My attitude has changed too - I have come to terms with the fact that I can't go on a diet for a few months to lose the weight then go back to eating whatever I want - I know (and more importantly accept) that this is a forever lifestyle change for me. I can never go back to eating ice cream, chocolate, whatever daily. Once I was ready to accept these things, I was ready and it is sticking.

I sometimes wonder if it is Atkins that is making the difference (not starving, eating food I like), but I really think it is something inside me that has clicked...I just want it more than I want sugar/pop/chips/etc.

Looking forward to things I haven't been able to do for years helps too...Fitting in rides at the fair, hiking with my dogs & husband without dying, horseback riding...wearing pretty clothes...

Like I said, I'm still not exactly sure why it stuck this time, but those are my thoughts on the subject. Not sure if this will help. Good Luck.

[OzLover]

Re: Need alittle help

Great advice everyone!

Look deep inside yourself & decide what you want more. To continue as you are or an opportunity to feel better not only physically or emotionally. Only you can decide. One day at a time, lots of planning your meals & snacks & proving to yourself that you can do this. Stay off the scale & if you need to have your husband hide. There are so many ways to measure your success~~how do you feel, how are your clothes fitting, how is your energy level, are you sleeping better etc..

Good luck!

[rosie321]

Re: Need alittle help

I agree with what everyone has said so far... I think the motivation has to come from inside yourself. No matter how much encouragement you get (or discouragement for that matter), if you don't want it bad enough for yourself it's never going to happen. Like Julie said, you need that "click" to make the change. My whole life I had been told to lose weight by my doctors, friends, and family members but for some reason never really put any effort in to. Then all of a sudden I realized it was time and I made the full committment to do it, no half-assed attempts, and I never looked back. Stopping, or even worse regaining, wasn't an option because I closed that other door behind me.

You always hear with alcoholics and drug addicts that you can't help them until they're ready to help themselves, and I think the same is true with weight loss. Maybe you just haven't reached that bottoming out yet that's going to flip your motivation switch.

[BigSouthernBoy]

Re: Need alittle help

Like others have stated, I firmly believe there is no secret to getting/staying motivated. I searched for the same answer for years, but finally came to the conclusion that it doesn't exist. You just have to come to a point where you're tired of being overweight, tired of starting and stopping the yo-yo dieting, and, most importantly, tired of not controlling your own life.

At least that's how it worked with me. See my "Reasons to Avoid Carbs" in the Main Atkins Diet Forum for the reasons I finally decided to get in board and stay on board. Others have shared their reasons there as well.

[imagood1]

Re: Need alittle help

I get up in the morning and have 1 cup of decaf coffee w/cream and 1 packet of splenda - then I start drinking water. Since you are still drinking soda why don't you up your pledge from 64oz of water to a larger amount. When you want a soda stop and drink another glass of water. You continue to feed your sweet tooth and that may be one of the big problems why you don't make it over a couple days at a time.

Figure out why YOU want to loose weight. My reason, I have high blood pressure, high triglicerides, high cholesterol, Type 2 diabetes and fatty liver. I am trying to get my health back because for me first because I don't like being overweight and feeling bad all the time...the second reason is because I am a caregiver for 2 people and can't afford to become ill. Because of the medication I take my weight loss is painfully slow but I continue to follow the plan because I don't like eating bread, chips and pasta anymore - I don't feel well when I eat them so I decided a few months ago it wasn't worth putting myself through that anymore.

Put the scale away, don't tell anyone what you are doing - it's not their business and it seems you are allowing them to keep you from loosing. Yes they love you but you aren't doing this for them (or are you?). When you figure out what keeps you motivated you will succeed. Don't give up -- make the changes you need to and show yourself you are strong enough to do this.

Good luck.

[bellajgw]

Re: Need alittle help

First, you are NOT the first person to travel down this road and you have a LOT of support here hun!

Secondly, what I have always found helpful is having two sets of goals and making many mini-goals within those sets. The first set of goals are TOWARDS goals..goals you are working towards like mine:

1. Getting married in May in a size 10 gown
2. Fitting into any seat anywhere without squeezing
3. Be able to go jogging without pain
4. Wear a bikini for the first time in my life (31 years)

Then I have AWAY FROM goals like:

1. Blood pressure too high so doc wants me on meds
2. Eating half the halloween candy coworkers bring in afterwards and acting surprised that its gone so quickly
3. Can't walk to lunch with coworkers without getting winded
4. Having to shop in a Big Ladies store

So the Towards goals are things you are working hard to GET, goals to REACH for, things that excite you...not just numbers. The Away From goals are things you are trying to get away from, things that scare you and that you feel you are headed for if you don't change.

This way you not only have goals to strive for but things to keep you motivated. So as you reach those Towards goals you still have those Away From goals watching your back and pressing you forward. Because, lets face it, if you have no will power (like me) and you reach one or more of your towards goals you may very well just stop there and start sabotaging yourself again and again...but if you begin to focus on, and alter as you go, those Away From goals you will still have something to keep pushing you forward.

[bellajgw]

Re: Need alittle help

Oh, and as for soda...I have cans of diet Root Beer. I used to drink tons of soda and now I drink water instead, but when I get home I have 1 can of diet RB and I feel happy...not because its bad for me but because I'm not depriving myself of something that I love so much.

So get a 24 pack of cans, stick them in the fridge and set a time of day to have 1. Just 1. You will enjoy it more when you have it less often. Before you know it you'll go a few days without having any because you forgot...thats when you know you've kicked the habit

[Andrewswife]

Re: Need alittle help

Thanks everyone for the advice. It really is encouraging!