Patience Required

[jade]

Day 6: Program Complete...sigh of relief!
Today was the hardest day for me to be on program since I started. The reason wasn't that there were tons of tempting food around the reason was STRESS! Which for me leads to depression which in the past led to eating to the extreme. When I would get stressed in the past I would use food as a drug to 'numb me up'. I would have that nice buzz for a little while but then it would wear off and I would be stuck with my original, everyday overeating combined with fresh guild from the more recent binge. I would then feel guilty again, binge again and the cycle would continue.
But today, I was able to quietly go through the day despite the stress. I spent time asking myself questions as to where the stress was coming from and what could I do about it.
So instead of eating I was able to stay on my program and break the cycle. That was a good feeling.
I see there is a little article on depresson on this site. I'm going to take a peek at it. If it's anything like everything else I've read since I came back, it will be a good read.
I hope everyone had a great day on Atkins!

Be well-
jade :wave

[Peterlock]

Hi Jade, :wave

Great post - in my experience one of the keys in dealing with depressive episodes is taking a proactive role in overcoming them.

This might mean as it has for me a combination of both medication and therapy. Or fighting the day to day stresses and struggles which we all face and have to find a way to conquer.

It sure sounds like you met whatever set you off today and made the choice to break a long standing cycle of destructive behavior with a new way of coping - and that's a major victory and believe me, I know how difficult it can be so I applaud you for not caving in.

I think each time we make the right choice - and we always pretty much know what that is, although knowing does not necessarily an easier choice make. But that said, the more frequently we make the choice to empower ourselves as opposed to abandon ourselves, the better we get at it.

The better we get at reaching for that bottle of water instead of the soda, the better we get at getting up each day and exercising instead of vegetating, the better we get at controlling our additive behavior and replacing paths that lead to self sabotage with new ones that lead to self pride, realization and worth.

So congrats on your day of success- and on all the victories that are sure to follow

Peter ha

[jade]

Hey Peter,
Thank you so much for what you wrote below! I will admit that I am on the edge of tears today. Your response was uplifting. Thank you.

"Great post - in my experience one of the keys in dealing with depressive episodes is taking a proactive role in overcoming them."
This might mean as it has for me a combination of both medication and therapy. Or fighting the day to day stresses and struggles which we all face and have to find a way to conquer."

*Yes! I have been in counseling in the past for my food addiction and my counselor said the same thing. I guess, that's why I write here everyday. This is like a sanctuary for me. I don't necessarily need a response (although they are very nice and have really been supportive) but I do need a spot to write where I know I can be accountable to my program.

"It sure sounds like you met whatever set you off today and made the choice to break a long standing cycle of destructive behavior with a new way of coping - and that's a major victory and believe me, I know how difficult it can be so I applaud you for not caving in."

*Well, I'm still kind of raw if you know what I mean, so I'm going to again, just try and take very good care of myself for the remainder of the evening. I think for me having a mindset of 'cherishing' myself has really made a difference this time around. I'm very good at 'beating myself up' but have had to learn to love myself. Still learning that one.

"I think each time we make the right choice - and we always pretty much know what that is, although knowing does not necessarily an easier choice make. But that said, the more frequently we make the choice to empower ourselves as opposed to abandon ourselves, the better we get at it."

*Peter, thank you again! Yes! I love the idea of empowering myself instead of abandoning myself! I have abandonment issues in my past so learning to empower and cherish myself will allow me to grow through all of that.
Very powerful advice. Thank you.

"The better we get at reaching for that bottle of water instead of the soda, the better we get at getting up each day and exercising instead of vegetating, the better we get at controlling our additive behavior and replacing paths that lead to self sabotage with new ones that lead to self pride, realization and worth."

*I know for me is so true! I also know for me that I have to do the above one, single day at a time. To complete a day on program for me is like winning the lottery everyday. I have had such a very difficult time following through on eating programs. I would get so frustrated when I would eat the wrong food. And it might've been one potato chip but it would send me into the pit of despair! Then I would quit and have a 3 day binge/pity party! So being able to complete just one day on program-clean-is so important to me.

"So congrats on your day of success- and on all the victories that are sure to follow"

And thank you for taking the time to support host this board! Your expertise has been invaluable.

Thanks again for being in my corner!
Be well-
jade