Tweet
... and Atkins went off the rail.
I needed to write this post - I know all of you are "strangers" to me, but that's the beauty of it - I can be anonymous, and still express how I'm feeling because I am not doing much of it... except maybe here.
I wouldn't exactly say we were extremely close, but her death has left me feeling lost, especially now knowing that out of her 8 children, no-one cared enough to make sure she died in her hometown. Instead, 2nd-child didn't want his house messed up so he put her into a hospital. They knew she was dying and it would've cost nothing to have taken her back to her hometown, but they didn't. A couple of months ago, when I found out my grandmother was dying, I wanted to go and see her, see her when she was still alive and lucid enough to remember the times we spent together. But 2nd-child belonged some sort of church and he & his church-goer friends wouldn't allow us to visit grandma. He already took over her house and all her money, so why couldn't he let any of us see her? Plus, to add to it all, none of us had enough money to get grandma out of his home or country, let alone manage the cost of nursing her in her last days.
Now she is gone. I know she is in a better place because she was sick and suffering. She was also lonely because most of her 8 children didn't care about her enough - all they wanted is her money. I wish I had had the chance to see her before she died, but I can't even make it to her funeral because by the time I fly to her hometown, it would be too late.
I am not sure what to do with myself. Sometimes I feel completely detached. Other times I cry and wish I had seen her more recently.
Sometimes I don't feel like eating at all, and other times I turn to my comfort foods.
Thank you to all of you who read this post and spent the few minutes "listening" to me. I'll be back to my usual self soon
I needed to write this post - I know all of you are "strangers" to me, but that's the beauty of it - I can be anonymous, and still express how I'm feeling because I am not doing much of it... except maybe here.
I wouldn't exactly say we were extremely close, but her death has left me feeling lost, especially now knowing that out of her 8 children, no-one cared enough to make sure she died in her hometown. Instead, 2nd-child didn't want his house messed up so he put her into a hospital. They knew she was dying and it would've cost nothing to have taken her back to her hometown, but they didn't. A couple of months ago, when I found out my grandmother was dying, I wanted to go and see her, see her when she was still alive and lucid enough to remember the times we spent together. But 2nd-child belonged some sort of church and he & his church-goer friends wouldn't allow us to visit grandma. He already took over her house and all her money, so why couldn't he let any of us see her? Plus, to add to it all, none of us had enough money to get grandma out of his home or country, let alone manage the cost of nursing her in her last days.
Now she is gone. I know she is in a better place because she was sick and suffering. She was also lonely because most of her 8 children didn't care about her enough - all they wanted is her money. I wish I had had the chance to see her before she died, but I can't even make it to her funeral because by the time I fly to her hometown, it would be too late.
I am not sure what to do with myself. Sometimes I feel completely detached. Other times I cry and wish I had seen her more recently.
Sometimes I don't feel like eating at all, and other times I turn to my comfort foods.
Thank you to all of you who read this post and spent the few minutes "listening" to me. I'll be back to my usual self soon
[/IMG]
Comment