Do people get too much praise sometimes (may be a sensitive subject)

[Jeudrietr]

Lets say there's a man who was 350lbs to start and lost 200 of them. WOW, what an amazing accomplishment.

Then, on the other hand ,there's a man who has taken care of himself his whole life and maintained 170lbs.

People will look at the first person and think he's done so much but does he really deserve the praise? After all, he let himself get that heavy. I think that smaller healthy people sometimes don't get as much attention and it doesn't seem fair. Even on TV you'll see Oprah giving cars and vacations (or whatever) to people who have lost a lot of weight. How about rewarding people who have taken care of themselves the whole time?

I don't know why I'm bringing this up but it has been on my mind. I just guessed on which forum to put it in so feel free to move it.

Discuss.

[wannabethintoo]

Re: Do people get too much praise sometimes (may be a sensitive subject)

Very good point. I guess we forget about the people who maintain a healthy weight and lifestyle throughout their lives. They deserve praise as well.

[ttdriver]

Re: Do people get too much praise sometimes (may be a sensitive subject)

From a little person: Very good point!!

Betty

[wendita38]

Re: Do people get too much praise sometimes (may be a sensitive subject)

I think that anyone, at any time, of any weight, deserves praise when they seriously take their health into consideration and make it the priority it should be.

Wendy

[Lady_Hawke]

Re: Do people get too much praise sometimes (may be a sensitive subject)

I think that the guy who released 200 pounds should be praised above and beyond. That is not an easy thing to do (see I've YET to do it ). When there is that much weight involved - its just not easy.
Yes the guy who maintains a healthy lifestyle deserves his praise too.
Heck . we all do. Wether its releasing 10 pounds or 100. Its not easy. But when its a large amount, well, its hard to explain and understand unless you've been there or are there.
As for Oprah - I think she rewards people for loosing large amounts of weight because she can understand what they have gone thru, having gone thru it herself. She helps alot of people - I think Oprah is an angel!

[Heidi3]

Re: Do people get too much praise sometimes (may be a sensitive subject)

that is a great point considering the over weight rapidly making the regular weight people a minority ..

all I know is people who have never seen me fat ... assume I have always been thin . ...comments like "well you don't understand you have obviously NEVER had a weight problem" If I had stayed fit my entire life I think would have felt a
ostracized by those kinds of comments like somehow I did not belong to the elite group of the obese with issues...this happens a lot so I imagine naturally thin folks get a lot of crappy comments as a result ...on the other hand.... OBVIOUSLY I have had a weight problem and YES I do know!!!! so that still pissses me of

[ttdriver]

Re: Do people get too much praise sometimes (may be a sensitive subject)

that is a great point considering the over weight rapidly making the regular weight people a minority ..

all I know is people who have never seen me fat ... assume I have always been thin . ...comments like "well you don't understand you have obviously NEVER had a weight problem" If I had stayed fit my entire life I think would have felt a
ostracized by those kinds of comments like somehow I did not belong to the elite group of the obese with issues...this happens a lot so I imagine naturally thin folks get a lot of crappy comments as a result ...on the other hand.... OBVIOUSLY I have had a weight problem and YES I do know!!!! so that still pissses me of

I totally agree with you, Heidi. I hear that all the time "oh you're just naturally thin..." say wha????????? I want to pimp-slap 'em.

Betty

[Kent]

Re: Do people get too much praise sometimes (may be a sensitive subject)

You'd be surprised, but I think this is very valid statement. Yes, losing over 200 pounds was a huge achievement for me, but what it also meant I let myself go for that much longer than most everyone else. Or in other words, I had to work that much harder to correct damage I had done to myself. To use a sports analogy, it's a like a batter hitting 0% and then going on a incredible hitting streak to get himself to the Mendoza line (.200) of batting average. (Alright to be honest, I consider myself a little better than a below average hitter, but I hope you get the analogy.) The difference between weight and .000 hitter is my damage was always obvious in front of me.

I think anybody who can be motivated to better themselves and exercise to the fullest should be celebrated. Yes, when I run my next race, inwardly I will enjoy the pleasure perhaps more than most, but that does not detract from praise they still deserve for going out and doing something many would not do.

[Jeudrietr]

Re: Do people get too much praise sometimes (may be a sensitive subject)

Just for the record; I am not trying to downplay anyone's accomplishment. Losing 200lbs is AMAZING and you should be very proud of yourself.

I can relate to the, "You're lucky. You're just naturally skinny." type comments. If only they knew!

[cmcole]

Re: Do people get too much praise sometimes (may be a sensitive subject)

It can be applied to other things in life, as well.
I have heard of some people who have followed a Christian lifestyle from early childhood say that they don't have a good testimony, because they haven't been "saved" from anything horrible.

However, those who have been converted in later life quite often live with not only regrets, but the possible physical problems associated with a not so clean lifestyle. They also regret not having the "staying power" type of testimony.

So, it works both ways (and this would apply to the weight loss thing, as well).

I'm sure, with my ups and downs, that there are parts of my metabolism and body that would be a lot better, had I maintained a healthy lifestyle right from childhood.

However, I intend to now continue along this path, and maintain a healthy lifestyle from here on, even if I have to live with mistakes I've made in the past. At least I made the change, and can say that I am better for having done so.

[Rubysugar]

Re: Do people get too much praise sometimes (may be a sensitive subject)

What about the folks who follow the current food pyramid, eat 9-10 servings of whole grains a day and fruits and veggies and low fat foods and still gain weight and can't figure it out? They do what the government says and yet maintain an unhealthy weight. That wouldn't be "Letting themselves go". Getting maried and then you stop brushing your hair, bathing daily, brushing your teeth, quit wearing make-up... that's letting yourself go. IMO I don't think people can be praised too much for an outstanding accomplishment of any kind.
Though, I have to admit, I sometimes find it embarassing when praised too loudly in public or at a gathering. Then, there can be too much.

[Jeudrietr]

Re: Do people get too much praise sometimes (may be a sensitive subject)

I've realized that I probably worded my title wrong. I didn't mean that these people get too much praise. I was attempting to say that people who take care of themselves the whole time or people who only had 30lbs to lose don't get enough praise. The two don't have to go hand in hand.

[changing]

Re: Do people get too much praise sometimes (may be a sensitive subject)

This is a very interesting topic, and I'm glad you posted this thread a few weeks ago because I have been thinking about this off and on ever since you did.

I really think you have a valid point here, but at the same time, I notice that a lot of people that keep themselves up, DO get praise for it. Maybe not in the form of "wow, you do a great job maintaining your weight," but more of a "you look fabulous in that" or "you look really good today." It's also shown that weight is one of the last frontiers in discrimination, so those at healthy weights are getting praise in the form of promotions and respect in the workplace that heavier people are unfortunately often denied. Those who exercise regularly and eat healthfully, as opposed to being naturally skinny, as part of their weight maintenance program are praised by their doctors for those behaviors and the resultant health.

I think praise comes in many forms and that the praise that comes when others notice your weight loss is simply an extra positive side effect, and that true praise for your efforts needs to come from within, from yourself.

But this has been a very stimulating topic for me.

[Jeudrietr]

Re: Do people get too much praise sometimes (may be a sensitive subject)

"true praise for your efforts needs to come from within, from yourself."

So true. I also agree with everything else you said. I hadn't really thought much about it to see that the constant, "You look nice today." is praise.

Thank you for that.

[msnicksmom]

Re: Do people get too much praise sometimes (may be a sensitive subject)

Changing, thank you for your points. I too thought about this discussion, and something kept niggling at me, but I couldn't quite identify WHAT I "disagreed" with. But that is it, that the "praise" for those at the good weight is an overall acceptance and glorification in media and positive connotation, versus the opposite.

Thanks for introducing the topic Jeu.