Rant about lifelong obsession with weight

[kekes444]

I have always thought I've been chubby for my entire life. But last night I was looking through picture albums from when I was in middle school through college and realized I was wrong.

I was a normal high school kid - certainly not skinny but not fat like I thought I was. I gained weight my senior year but that's due to some depression brought on from moving to a different state. In my early college years, again I wasn't skinny but I don't see an overweight person in those pictures. After that I went through another weight gain in which I did look fat, but then lost a bunch of weight and looked great, and now have gained a bunch of bunches back.

But, my point is that I have felt like I was a fat slob for the majority of my life and let those feeling control me, and when I look back, it seems like such wasted energy, because I was normal.

Now, I realize, my weight is too high and I need to lose and need to expend the physical and mental energy to do so but to think of the anguish I went through when I was younger just breaks my heart.

Just a rant and wanted to share my thoughts.

thanks, katie

[jimmie 48]

keke, sounds like a journal entry to me!
why not start one and see who joins in on the conversation. you have nothing new here......lots of folks have been where you are and we can take the journey together.
i promise you will welcomed with open.......uh..... cyber arms in the journal forum!

http://www.atkinsdietbulletinboard.com/viewforum.php?f=36

[Effie]

Hi Katie,
I know exactly how you feel. You look back and want to kick your own skinny *** for being so oblivious to it. I was at goal once, very briefly. At the time, I belonged to Weight Watchers. I was still about 5 pounds above their target, so even though I was at MY goal, I couldn't be considered for lifetime membership. The frustration with not being able to lose the last 5 pounds, and having to pay the weekly meeting fees each week, resulted in me "giving up". Now I'm 55 pounds heavier and struggling to get back to where I was for that one month.

I remember being in a Gap dressing room and moaning over how fat I looked. Now I'd kill just to be able to try anything on from the Gap. I never thought I'd be wishing to be a size 16. Body image and success, among other things, are all relative I guess.

[doeskin]

I can totally relate. I remember feeling fat as far back as 5th and 6th grade, but looking back at pictures now I know I was definately a "normal", even kind of skinny, kid. And although I was definitely overweight in high school, I remember feeling about 3987576 times heavier than I actually was. It's sad to look back and think about all that wasted time! :nono

But that's why we're here, right? It's never too late to turn yourself around.

[divaindubai]

Dear Katie,

I can completely relate to your experience...100%! In fact, when I was a little girl, younger than 5 years old, I was called pork chops and my older sister as string beans. I was always the one that wasn't fat, but who was bigger boned, etc than my older sister. So needless to say that's why I was called pork chops by my younger aunts and uncles who were teenagers at the time....

It never stopped from there, somehow my weight was always someone else's issue, but I was not a fat girl!!! urplequ: :confused

And when I look back at my high school pictures and pre pregnancy pictures, I would die to look like that again...and now that is my goal again! Back on track again to be slim!

But I can totally relate to your post!

:hug

[MontanaRebel]

I remember being skinny all my younger days right up through going in the army and few years after..

I gruaduated from high school and weighed 135lbs and after basic training in the Army I weighed 154lbs and all muscle.

Something happened way down the road to make me what I am today but I just need to stay focus and well on my way by taking the first step. ha

[theredhead]

Boy, can I ever relate! My DD16 is about the same height and weight I was when I got married, but she can't even zip up my wedding dress. My DD is definitely a HOTTIE! I'd give my right arm to look like her and wear size 5/7. What's sad is that I thought I was fat and was always trying to lose 15-20 pounds in high school. Pathetic!

[ttdriver]

Its rare to find a person who thinks they are the perfect size .. we live in a weight obsessed world that constantly strives for PERFECTION... which is sad, because the most IMPORTANT thing is that we are a healthy weight, a by-product of healthy eating and regular exercise. If we focused more on what we're putting into our bodies nutritionally and expended more energy by burning calories, we would not look back in 5, 10, or 15 years regretting the wasted time! Plus, we'd look and feel great in between times!!

That's what Atkins is all about. Eating healthy wholesome foods, slaying the sugar dragon once and for all, taking essential supplements, drinking enough water, and non-negotiable exercise! Can't get any healthier than that!!

Betty