Boyfriend's mom is very unsupportive!

[diamond girl]

Re: Boyfriend's mom is very unsupportive!

I also find that people take me VERY seriously when they see that I take Atkins VERY seriously. If they see you flip flopping on the program, they will make EVERY effort to sabotage you. If they see you doing it 100%, there is no room for them to be unsupportive, because their support or lack thereof doesn't matter one bit.

Before I started this WOL, I had on the "Atkins Blinders." The only examples I had to go on were flip-floppers and failures. I was sure that if I tried it I was sure to fail too.
Sick and tired of being overweight, I came across DANDR at the library and decided to give it a shot. It has changed my life. Now I am an inspiration to others who want to try this WOL.
Some aren't as serious as I am and have failed, but that isn't the good doctors fault, it's their own for treating this as a diet and not a WOL.
Too bad they don't realize that.

[RunAwayMichelle]

Re: Boyfriend's mom is very unsupportive!

I agree with moochicat. Try to win mom over and understand that you are a major threat to her. I'm the mom of a 24 year old man and I know that I have a irrational negative reations to his girl-friends. Fortunately I keep them to myself and work hard at respecting his choices. This is much easier now that he has his own apartment.

Hang in there

[ttdriver]

Re: Boyfriend's mom is very unsupportive!

So basically the strength is within you- who cares who else does or doesn't support you. It's YOUR effort and YOUR journey, YOUR body and YOUR health. No one else's.

Betty

[Enchantedraisin]

Re: Boyfriend's mom is very unsupportive!

Thanks everyone. I dunno if talking her into reading the book or even talking to her at all would help. I don't want to be mean, but she... well I'll say she acts like she's not very smart. She says things out of her butt all the time... almost like she makes it up.


And I understand the woman who said her boyfriends mom almost seems to sabotage her. My boyfriends mom will shove cake and crap in my face all the time. My boyfriend will say, "No, mom. She can't have sugar"... she's reply "OMG.. she CAN have sugar. There's nothing WRONG with it. It won't HURT her."
This one time there were some stir-fried veggies for dinner. I asked if she prepared them with anything and she was like "Oh.. nothing at all"... so I started to eat and they tasted sweet. I said they tasted like there was something on them and she was like "Oh, soy sauce"... phh .. thanks.

I can't stand that woman.

He needs to get the **** out. But he needs the money first. Doesn't have enough. Mostly because she charges 250 a month for rent.

[determined2succeed]

Re: Boyfriend's mom is very unsupportive!

hey enchanted -

don't worry about his mom - she's just jealous. people that go out of their way to sabatoge yur diet or how you eat are just jeaous. i have run into people like that before - they talk a lot of $hit just since they're not doing it and are eating crap. it's your body - do what you want. forget her. it's none of her business what you do eat and what you don't eat. you don't have to explain yourself to her or defend yourself. ignore her. eventually she'll stop nagging and leave you guys alone.

ps. i don't think it's good advice to just say "he needs to move out" - that's irrelevant. the issue at hand is how someone else thinks they have a say in what you put in your mouth. whether or no he lives at home is a moot point.

[Effie]

Re: Boyfriend's mom is very unsupportive!

He took out the calcium, magnesium, and potassium supplements and starts to take them and she starts to complain again! "If you just ate a BANANA then you wouldn't have to take all that!"

Just for $h!+$ and giggles, I looked this up on fitday. Shove this in her face!

4 oz. of salmon contains 14% RDA of potassium, 4% calcium, and 9% magnesium.
1 medium banana contains 13% RDA of potassium, 1% calcium, and 9% magnesium. Oh yeah, and 25 net carbs!

I'm sure there's other foods out there that fare even better in that comparison, but salmon was the first one I picked (I read in another post about it having potassium, and it reminded me of your post.)

[FightingTheFight]

Re: Boyfriend's mom is very unsupportive!

"No, mom. She can't have sugar"... she's reply "OMG.. she CAN have sugar. There's nothing WRONG with it. It won't HURT her."

hmm, With intelligence like that who needs NASA?

[loser4life]

Re: Boyfriend's mom is very unsupportive!

I think you should both just do it and become healthy... Show her what she is afraid to see. I believe some people are afraid to see what they have been told most of their life isn't healthy....How many times has someone said eggs were BAD.... and how many times have they been proclaimed good????

[Enchantedraisin]

Re: Boyfriend's mom is very unsupportive!

Just for $h!+$ and giggles, I looked this up on fitday. Shove this in her face!

4 oz. of salmon contains 14% RDA of potassium, 4% calcium, and 9% magnesium.
1 medium banana contains 13% RDA of potassium, 1% calcium, and 9% magnesium. Oh yeah, and 25 net carbs!

I'm sure there's other foods out there that fare even better in that comparison, but salmon was the first one I picked (I read in another post about it having potassium, and it reminded me of your post.)

Yeahh go me! I had salmon today for dinner.

I had new fun adventures with her today! Today she tried to convince us that hard alcohol has sugar in it. http://www.calorieking.com/foods/foo...67509&partner=

[Jen111]

Re: Boyfriend's mom is very unsupportive!

It has to be very hard on the son being in the middle between the woman he loves and his mom, another woman he has loved all his life. Try to keep that in mind too for his sake.

It sounds like you have an incredibly difficult and controlling person in his mother. It is best to stay away as much as possible, as Sheila wisely pointed out, especially where meals are concerned. It will cut down on a lot of the conflict.

If only people could see that by not being nice, they are driving their loved ones away. I have been through the end result of having a very controlling mother and it is very tragic. I think it is hard for a mom to let go of their son to his girlfriend, but what choice does one have? To not do that, is to lose your child, perhaps forever! My story is at jenny.ws for anyone who is interested. I wish every morning that I wake up that that part of my life was different, but at this point it is too dangerous to my marriage to have anything to do with my birth family. It has been a decade of no contact.

That is often unfortunately the end result and I really feel for you and especially for your boyfriend, who is in the position I was in. I can relate. If she is trying to control you or her son (which in my opinion, she is), she is actually practising witchcraft, and it definitely has supernatural power. She is reluctant to give up the control she has had over her son all those years. She feels she is losing that to you and therefore is fighting to keep control, even over little things. She is very insecure and somehow her son (not you) could maybe have a "little chat" with her about these things, reassure her that he will always love her, but that she must quit trying to control you guys and circumstances, or in the end things might not turn out so nicely (as a last resort let her read my story), if she continues to make an enemy out of you (so very dumb!). When he has his independence (moves out), he can be more forceful on that issue.

I'm sorry you guys are going through this. It is painful, I know. Please don't let the emotions derail you from your diet goals, because your success is going to silence her somewhat, as someone mentioned.

[Kisseslikepearls]

Re: Boyfriend's mom is very unsupportive!

I'm right there with you hun!! My fiancee's mother is almost the same way! She's been on the low-fat lifestyle for, as she reminds me, "longer than you've been born" and is "prefectly healthy" grrrrr We usually visit for a week or so at a time and I've even offered to cook dinner several nights a week, just so we can have something even remotely close to what we're suppose to be eating. She's declined every time so far, unfortunately, since I've never seen her cook anything that didn't come from a box or a to go bag. She makes great food choices, everything I'd choose to eat before doing this---just loaded with sauces and sugars and carbs. The only thing that's worked for me is the 'nod and smile' rutine (sp).

And I also agree with the above comment "Silence her with your success!!!"

Good luck and hugs!

[burtonator]

Re: Boyfriend's mom is very unsupportive!

Yeah.. well there is still a lot of propaganda against atkins. 30 years of arguing that low-fat diets are good will do that!

People will come around but some are really just annoying.

But you have to deal with her. My advice is kill her with kindness. Offer to loan her your atkins book or drop various facts about carbs, diabetes, fat, etc.

Kevin

[michigangirly]

Re: Boyfriend's mom is very unsupportive!

well i'm off to visit the bf's family this weekend so wish me luck with the craziness. ahhh. i'll let you all know how it went on sunday.

[Bugaboo]

Re: Boyfriend's mom is very unsupportive!

Over a year ago when my husband and I started Atkins I had a lot of head to heads with his mother. She's not really the controlling type...just very "involved". Lol. She's a very loving person though so I was dealing more with her worrying than trying to be controlling. She had it cemented in her head that fat makes you fat and the less you eat the better. After I've lost a little over 80lbs and my husband lost 60lbs she doesn't say anything negative anymore. I've always had the luxury of being able to argue with her though with no hard feelings. I'm one of the few people though that can argue her into a corner. The women in her family have a very well earned reputation of being "fiesty". However, this time I didn't need to keep arguing. Like ttdriver said, the success spoke for itself. I'm still not at goal weight but now my m-i-l is one of my biggest supporters. My itty bitty sister-in-law had some Calvin Kleins that she bought awhile ago that she's too small for now and I tried them on and they fit. My m-i-l actually hemmed them for me and brought them over! Instead of hearing "all that fat...no fruits...alllllll that fat..." she's seen us go up the rungs and re-introduce all the foods she thought we were never going to eat again (no matter what I said) and we were surely going to drop dead at any moment. Even though my m-i-l is not exactly like what you're dealing with just grit your teeth and keep doing what you're doing. Eventually when you don't keel over she'll start to understand. And if that moment never comes then don't sweat it. Let her rant and rave but just enjoy your success.

Btw...sorry that was so long!!!!