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**Queenie8687** · July 13, 2005, 01:06 AM

Re: Boyfriend's mom is very unsupportive!

Just keep doing what your doing, ignore her. Your boyfriend obviously trusts you enough to keep up this WOE therefore your already a winner, when he's reaping the benefits of DANDR then we'll see. You go girl and keep him motivated aswell.

**Alienore** · July 13, 2005, 06:45 AM

Re: Boyfriend's mom is very unsupportive!

Presumably your boyfriend is an adult male and able to make his own decisions about what he eats and who he trusts? If so, his mother can scream all she likes because it's none of her business. If he finds that he's losing weight, feeling healthier and learning how to beat the carb-cravings on Atkins and is enjoying doing so that will be motivation for him to keep it going for his own sake.

It sounds like his mother is insecure about her own relationship with her son and still wants to keep him tied to the apron strings. She needs to grow up bigtime!

Deborah

**G-Mom** · July 13, 2005, 07:14 AM

Re: Boyfriend's mom is very unsupportive!

Sounds like he needs to move out.

**Carolyn492** · July 13, 2005, 07:17 AM

Re: Boyfriend's mom is very unsupportive!

Never mind her. For sure she will stop complaining some day. Looks like she likes to just have it her way. Let the smoke blow away. When she see`s you guys are not listening to her she might just stop acting they way she is.

Good luck with the mother in law.

**michigangirly** · July 13, 2005, 07:35 AM

Re: Boyfriend's mom is very unsupportive!

enchanted-
i TOTALLY understand where you are coming from!

my boyfriend's mom drives me NUTS about eating the atkins way! i swear she tries to sabatoge (sp) me! she'll make double layer cakes and "swear" that the angel food cake is really low carb, she'll offer me EVERY carb in the world just to start something when i decline. she throws low CALORIE food in my face all the time and tells me how healthy it is...like i am not going to know. she tries to make me feel like i am inconviencing HER because apparently i am a picky eater now. she acts like she has to prepare specialty meals or something. last time my bf and i visited, she (in a snotty voice) asked if i was still not eating carbs? and i said i've never NOT been eating carbs, i've been reducing my carbs and choosing to eat them from natural sources such as vegatables as oppossed to processed and junk foods. that shut her up for the moment. then she asked if i would eat pizza!! i calmly told her that no matter what "diet" you were on...i didn't think pizza was the way to go when trying to lose weight. but honestly...she has nothing but negativity to offer about MY lifestyle choice. and this is coming from a woman who has been recently diagnosed with type II diabetes because of her weight and lifestyle! obviously people will not change until they are ready and willing..but i just cannot believe how she wants to point the figure at me about how "unhealthy" my diet is! phew. haha sorry this topic really gets me going.

i do not want to be rude to this woman who one day may be my mother in law...

...but sometimes i think i am going to lose it!

**not2late** · July 13, 2005, 07:54 AM

Re: Boyfriend's mom is very unsupportive!

Originally posted by G-Mom

Sounds like he needs to move out.

Just eat the healthy carbs that you are allowed on the diet, then move into OWL where you can eat more healthy carbs.

**AllieCat0817** · July 13, 2005, 08:29 AM

Re: Boyfriend's mom is very unsupportive!

good luck

**Sarah1341** · July 13, 2005, 08:30 AM

Re: Boyfriend's mom is very unsupportive!

I agree with G-Mom - He needs to move out. He is an adult, he can make his own life choices, if mom says he cannot have diet pop in Her House, then leave Her House. I understand she may be concerned, but geez, she sounds a bit controlling. "I'm sending you to the doctor." What is that??

Just hang in there girls - hopefully the guys have the strength to cut the strings. Otherwise, you both know that you are enjoying a healthy lifestyle. Funny, you get to eat on this woe and not be hungry all the time. You cut out all junk foods. You eat more veggies, you drink more water. Hmmmmm.....wonder who is right?

**ttdriver** · July 13, 2005, 08:39 AM

Re: Boyfriend's mom is very unsupportive!

Silence her with your success. Works like a charm.

Betty

**AllieCat0817** · July 13, 2005, 08:49 AM

Re: Boyfriend's mom is very unsupportive!

I also find that people take me VERY seriously when they see that I take Atkins VERY seriously. If they see you flip flopping on the program, they will make EVERY effort to sabotage you. If they see you doing it 100%, there is no room for them to be unsupportive, because their support or lack thereof doesn't matter one bit.

At work, we OFTEN have a 'cart of crap carbs' being pushed around and offered to employees. Whenever they get to my cube with the stupid Little Debbies, I always hear 'oh never mind we know you don't want this'. And I always reply 'ya got that right', and they keep it movin. They make no effort to derail me- it's useless. That goes for every and anyone who has been around me for 5 minutes- they already know the deal.

So basically the strength is within you- who cares who else does or doesn't support you. It's YOUR effort and YOUR journey, YOUR body and YOUR health. No one else's.

**Moochiecat** · July 13, 2005, 09:05 AM

Re: Boyfriend's mom is very unsupportive!

Her baby boy is being taken over by his girlfriend...she's threatened!

The calmer you and your bf are when dealing with his mother, the bigger the impact you'll have on her. I have a brother who can fly off the handle, and I realized I was flying off the handle right along with him and that's how we dealt with things. I learned that if I spoke quieter, paused before I answered him and chose my words carefully that he learned to relax, because nobody likes to find themselves out swinging in the wind alone, having a flip-out by themselves when they were used to bringing everyone along with them...lol

What if you gave her a copy of DANDR and said something like "We want you to understand how Atkins works, so that you don't worry so much about what it's doing to us. After you read this, we can sit down and have a talk about it and answer any more questions you might have. There's so much misinformation floating around about Atkins that we can see why you are worried, but when you read the book, you'll realize it's very well thought out."
And if she starts to bug either of you, ask her if she's read the book yet.

You could also mention that you know she cares, and that you'd love her to be on your side, because you know she'd make a great cheerleader for you! (Ok, you might have to grit your teeth to tell her that, but if you can get her to support you, it'll make her feel included and involved and important again.)

Good luck with that.

I hope your bf takes control of things soon, because if those apron strings don't get cut soon, there'll be a lifetime of this sort of thing happening.

**SugarFreeSheila** · July 13, 2005, 10:13 AM

Re: Boyfriend's mom is very unsupportive!

Of course, you can't control whether your adult boyfriend moves out of his mother's house, but you can control your own personal deportment in the situation. I would simply distance myself from the boyfriend's mother. You seem to be only getting stress whenever you prepare food and/or eat around her, and it has to get exhausting hearing her constant benightedness.

After distancing yourself from her (which I hope you will do, as it will improve your sense of well-being), it will do you good to know that the main things she will notice later when she does catch glimpses of you is the fact that you're 10 pounds lighter, another 5 pounds lighter, you've made goal, you bought a string bikini, you made goal 1 year ago and are still going strong ... She'll see - and then, she might look into it herself. (Yes, even already-slim people have an interest in Atkins; oddly, probably half the people who approach me in person for information are!)

I love one poster's advice for "Silence her with your success. It works every time." I absolutely live by this. Give Atkins (and your success) time enough to be visible, and maintain your goal weight once you eventually attain it. You'll see: everyone around you will be pleading with you to tell them how you do it. Tossing your excellent lipid profile into the mix as extra proof of the benefits of Atkins, why on earth why would anyone ever question that you do Atkins?

**AllieCat0817** · July 13, 2005, 10:25 AM

Re: Boyfriend's mom is very unsupportive!

I agree.

**Isabeau** · July 13, 2005, 10:40 AM

Re: Boyfriend's mom is very unsupportive!

I love ttdriver's advice too.

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