Depressed and Worried

[Heidi3]

Re: Depressed and Worried

here Goldfinger I shamelessly bumped my own thread for you...seriously good luck ..I love food love to eat and this plan works but it takes a lot of work that is for sure

http://www.atkinsdietbulletinboard.c...482#post257482

[ttdriver]

Re: Depressed and Worried

Failure was never in my mind for a second.

On January 19, 2006, I will have been an Atkineer for 4 years. 4 YEARS!

Did it take willpower? No, cuz I don't have any willpower. That's how I got fat in the first place. So check that off the list.

What it *does* take are blinders. You simply have to set your sights on the GOAL of being healthy and fit for the rest of your life and allow NOTHING and/or NO ONE to thwart your efforts. For me, its a DAILY COMMITMENT that I make to myself; I alone can make that commitment and I ALONE CAN KEEP IT. It doesn't matter SQUAT what other people do; whether they succeed or fail; whether they cheat or not; WHAT MATTER IS ME, MY COMMITMENT, MY DETERMINATION.

This is as much a mental battle as it is physical; certainly once you get to maintenance and you have to DETERMINE to turn off those voices in your head that say "oh go ahead and eat ________, you deserve it!" No, no one deserves to eat crap foods ever again. What I do deserve is to maintain this weight loss for the rest of my life because I now have the empowerment to do it!

My advice to you would be to quit looking at other people's failures and thinking you're gonna end up like that! Because you know what? The mind is a very powerful tool, both constructively and destructively .. so set your MIND on success and don't let ANYTHING stop you!

As they say at Disneyworld .. IF YOU CAN DREAM IT, YOU CAN DO IT!

Betty

[2big4mysize]

Re: Depressed and Worried

yep Dr Atkins said the folk who do all the phases and not just induction to goal are the ones who don't regain the weight. SPend time learning and pay attention in class while you are doing OWL know your trigger foods and or food groups. Then as Betty says put ion your blinders and never ever torture yourself by havcing those foods. think of them as poison to you which they are. Are you suicidal? no so we know you aren't going to eat them on purpose and the issue is settled.

Addiction and overeating is an addiction are controlled by the addict when the cost of continuing the addiction is more then the pleasure the adict gets from continuing it. It has nothing to do with humans programed for survival cause they wwere not programmed to eat pies cakes and other processed goodies. if you are going to use your survial programming you'd be eating meats and veggies so take control of yourself and go.

Why if you have never cheated are you even worried about jumping off the wagon and balloning back up? just work on today and let tommorows what ifs wait until they are today.

Happy low carbing.

[cleochatra]

Re: Depressed and Worried

What will ensure that I do not fall off the wagon this time?

You do.

That's it. No fancy gimmicks. No operators standing by to sell you the floppy fries julienne attachment. It's you.

You have tools you can use to keep your head straight, because messing up is psychological. It's a product of all the negative programming and self-sabotage you've perfected over the years.

How do you overcome that? I use reason. But then I'm borg.

Want to break eating as a cycle of habit? Read this.

Want to cope with a negative event logically before it consumes you ? Read this.

Need someone else holding you accountable, like Dr Phil? read this

I've been there, done that and bought the triple X tshirt. I'm accountable for me. You're accountable for you. At ADBB we support, we suggest and sometimes we give lovin' with a shoe upside the head, but we are not accountable, ultimately, for the decisions made by people who frequent the board. We can't be.

That's what makes you the star. So, how will your movie end up? Will you be the leading rolein the credits, or Third Tall Man? I know where I'm going to be.

{{{Goldfinger}}}

[goin2Bgood]

Re: Depressed and Worried

Maybe I should ask this question, and I don't know if anyone but me can answer it for me. What will ensure that I do not fall off the wagon this time?

It's the same thing for those of us who've quit drinking, quit smoking or quit caffeine (for example). While I may not have been on Atkins very long yet in the grand scheme of things, I have quit a couple of the above mentioned things for years and years.

I had the same concerns you did ... until I realized I can only live one day at a time. I quit worrying about the future and worked on living right for today. Today I have control of. Today I affirm what I'm doing and commit myself to healthy living. And every day I stick to my plan is a day that builds a solid foundation towards my future.

This is my 2nd time on Atkins. It'll be my last I'm pretty sure. Why? Because something has clicked the same way something clicked when I finally quit drinking after numerous tries, when I finally quit smoking and when I finally quit caffeine. Looking at your success, I think something has clicked for you too but maybe you need to be more confident in what you're achieving and worry less about 2 or 5 years from now.

[Moochiecat]

Re: Depressed and Worried

I just want to say that the responses I've read in this thread are wonderful/amazing/fantastic!! Such an overflow of positive pro-active thinking! I'm so proud of all of you encouraging everyone to take their own bull by the horns and take control of their destinies!

I agree wholeheartedly here. The only thing that triggered me to do this diet was ME...and the only thing that can derail me is ME....so who better to rely on and be accountable to than ME, right?
It's a matter of realizing that we have that control within us and running with it. If we focus on the statistics and think that we are destined to fail, then surely we will fail and use the stats as our excuse.
I refuse to do that...I refuse to do that!
Good job, people...this is a really good thread!

[Perry]

Re: Depressed and Worried

Goldfinger, you bring up good points. The STAC forum (or some derivative of it) is an oxymoron. We debated having this type of forum on ADBB. "Falling Off", "Confessions" were also potential forum names. Did we allow people to come here and confess their failures with the diet or do we keep things positive? No easy answer.

If you look around the board at the most successful people you will see common traits in each of them. Each of these people have self-discipline, strong will, confidence and the willingness to share their time here with others not so strong. Listen to them, learn from them. Every one of them (myself included) has struggled with the same issues as you. Look past the popularity of STAC and use it as a stepping stone.

See the future. See yourself at goal. Become an Atkins success story!

[ttdriver]

Re: Depressed and Worried

What will ensure that I do not fall off the wagon this time?


You do.

THAT'S A BINGO!! (and no, I don't need the julienne attachment!)

Betty

[soliwit]

Re: Depressed and Worried

Oh if I only could look into the future................
But I can't, so indeed take life by the day.
You already stated you are very strongly believing in this WOL and you are as it seems very determined to NOT become a failure, so in fact you already answered your own question.
Why worry then, it only makes your face look ugly, look at the bright side of all this, look in the mirror and KNOW that hunk there is you and you alone doing this and you are going to be that hunk for the rest of your life !!!!
I don't think any statistics have ever made me feel happier or better anyway......

[Goldfinger]

Re: Depressed and Worried

Thanks again to EVERYONE for the encouraging words. I do feel a lot better. As for the 'Do it for myself' comments, I agree wholeheartedly. Only I have to answer for my successes and failures. However, being so selfish is not in the true ADBB spirit. We all need to be supportive of each other and 'lay the smack down' when our fellow members start to stray.

What will ensure that I do not fall off the wagon this time?

You do.

Agreed.

Goldfinger, you bring up good points. The STAC forum (or some derivative of it) is an oxymoron. We debated having this type of forum on ADBB. "Falling Off", "Confessions" were also potential forum names. Did we allow people to come here and confess their failures with the diet or do we keep things positive? No easy answer.
...
Look past the popularity of STAC and use it as a stepping stone.

Thanks Perry. Excellent point. Oxymoron is the right term. It's encouraging to see that I'm not the only one that had thought about it. Anyway, the forum does serve a purpose and I'm all for it if it helps to get fellow ADBBers back on track!

[Goldfinger]

Re: Depressed and Worried

Why worry then, it only makes your face look ugly, look at the bright side of all this, look in the mirror and KNOW that hunk there is you and you alone doing this and you are going to be that hunk for the rest of your life !!!!

[Chris]

Re: Depressed and Worried

First of all, Goldfinger, congratulations on an amazing loss of 138 pounds. Wow, what a wonderful accomplishment -- and only 25 lbs. to goal. We'd all love to see pictures.

Now, look at my signature. Notice the STAC banner -- yes, I'm one of those people. At one time, I was actually an administrator of this board (there are certainly some members still here who will never forget that! ) yet, I allowed some pretty serious personal issues to lead me away from the WOE that I knew worked for me. I regained nearly half of what I'd worked so hard to lose.

Now, the most important words in that last sentence are "nearly half." Before I regained all that I had lost, plus more, I returned to what I'd learned over the many months of membership at ADBB. Even though all those personal issues weren't totally resolved, I remembered that this WOE had to also be a WOL for me, because it's the only one that's ever shown me that it can be a permanent one. I had learned that if I eat carb laden foods I can't stop eating, and my weight balloons. I realized that I had no choice, regardless of what I'd been doing, but to come back to what works for me.

Now, look at that signature, again. It says not only that I'm a member of STAC, but it says that I'm "proud" to be a part of that group. I am proud. I'm proud of myself that I used what I learned at ADBB to return to where I should be. I'm proud of the other members of that group for the same reason; and, I'm proud of the fact that I can be there to support them, as they are there for me.

Many folks do stumble along the way, but that doesn't mean that they can't still arrive at their destination and settle in for the long haul. I have a close family member who's a recovering alcoholic. After several failed attempts, she's now been totally sober for 19 years. Thankfully, AA didn't throw her out after her first stumble!

Goldfinger, I hope you never have need of STAC (and, with your current success, I sincerely doubt you will). However, I'm so thankful that the wise admins of this board decided to add that wonderful forum. I plan to be there for it's members, even when I've been at goal for a long time, to help those who had the good sense to crawl back up on that wagon.

I wish you wonderful continued success, and I do hope that you'll become a frequent poster. The knowledge you've gained during your Atkins journey should be shared with us all.

Bless you!

[cleochatra]

Re: Depressed and Worried

Amen, Chris. A-men.



~signed one of those proud oxymoron people.

[Becky Sue]

Re: Depressed and Worried

ADBB is so full of wonderful information, advice and support.
If one forum bothered me as much as it seems to bother a few, I'd bypass the forum .
I'd go to the forums that gave me the help I needed.

my 2 cents!

[womanpraised]

Re: Depressed and Worried

Well...

I guess this is where I come in... like they send the junkie into elementary schools to talk to kids about WHY they got hooked...

If there were a umpteenth time around forum, I would be the charter member. I have been flirting with getting healthy and acting like I love and want to take care of myself for 12 years now, since I was in college and first "tried" Atkins.

Lately, I have been in a situation where I cant stock the fridge, prepare the food, or make the menus. ANd while I have gained about 5 pounds, I cant say that I am hating every minute of it.

I have realized I may NOT yet be in the mindframe that "clicks" and this is the time I make it. I want to be. I am struggling towards that. But the truth of it is, for 31 years I have hated myself, my body, my looks, and failed at all major things I have attempted in my life. I have been the blame for all that is evil and rotten in the world, first with my birth family, and then in my marriage. I am the girl who was always a "really good friend". Not one major goal I set for myself was accomplished. My comfort through all of that has been food. My fall back, my security blanket, my buffer from the world. That is a hard binky to give up. I do really well... and then I dont.

It really does take being ready to be someone different, to get rid of the old ghosts... to want and commit to a new life. For me, my journies off plan have reflected a KNOWLEDGE that this was right, I felt better, had more energy,etc etc on Atkns, but it never sunk deep into my heart. The difference between you and I? I KNOW under the surface that it is there. I doubt Betty would tell you that she is still hanging on to her old life, her old ways... it doesnt sound like you are, either. Me.. I am still trying to let go of those things. I am still in that tug of war. Only you know if you are or not... if that one bite of bread will send you into all the mean things you do to yourself, or if you are over that, and can move on from it.

The STAC forum, to me, as well as the journals, is a safer place, people who have been where I am, who know me, and I dont have to put on my "perfect life happy me face" that I wear in my real life ... a place to be me in a way that I cant in the life I have. I can admit my failures, my struggles, my victories, and no one is going to beat me with an Atkins bible..

I am betting you are telling yourself... she has no clue, that isnt how I feel, I am not like her at all. And I will tell you, you are right. I might have hit a chord a year ago, but you have embraced your new life... we are in very different places. AND THAT is why you know, when you search yourself, that you dont need to be afraid of failing.

I also want to add... that a setback is not failure. We have had these habits and lives for so long, getting back up and making a go at it again IS a success. Failure would be ballooning up to 800 lbs on your couch, and not doing anything to try to help yourself again until 12 medics had to carry you out to the hospital. Just because someone tries and doesnt make it the first time, doesnt mean they failed. It just means that they have more to learn, further to go, time to put in. NO one runs a marathon the first time they tie their shoes.

**Hugs for you** I hope you find some peace within yourself about this. Obsessing about regaining weight is just as harsh as obsessing about overeat all the time, or loosing weight. ITs a WOL because we shouldnt be obsessed about it, just making the right choices on a time and time again basis. Living in fear isnt really living, even if it is fear of something scary.

Blessings...

kimberly