One thing I noticed

[Gknight]

The one thing Ive noticed is on this diet you have to WANT it. My friend came over last night shes 248lbs and only 4' 11" and I told her all about Atkins showed her my book and my menus ect even offered to go to the gym with her every morning or evening, All she had was excuses! Oh I couldnt give up, sugar,caffeine or startch and ohh I hate exercise, I felt sorry for her at first them angry! How can someone ***** and moan about their weight and not even try? Maybe because im on day 18 of extended induction gone through the headaches and the late night sugar cravings so I am braver who knows, Ive lost a friend because I told her she can either start to diet or die fat, I felt harsh at first and I made her cry something I felt so so bad about later but just watching her make excuses on why she COULDT do this diet made me so so mad. You do have to be strong to do this diet and it takes sacrifices but I wont die fat and I went over to my sons house pulled the grandbabies out of bed hugged the stuffing out of them and promised nana will be slimmer by summer and not too tired to play with them. Im doing this for me but MORE FOR THEM, I want to see them graduate ,marry and have babies of their own.

Thanks for letting me rant I feel so much better

[ladyinred]

Re: One thing I noticed

You can lead a horse to water....Hopefully your friendship isn't over. It's great that you were so enthusiastic about Atkins and your success on it. I understand your anger. It's very frustrating. I used to make excuses too and someone told me it was easy to make excuses but I could find time to exercise if I wanted to. I thought about it and realized she was right. I adjusted my attitude. You may have given your friend something to think about, but she'll have to make her own decisions in her own time. In the meantime, you can always apologize for being so harsh and attribute it to wanting the same success for your friend because you care about her so much. And then let her make up her own mind. She has to want it for herself. {{{{{{Gnight}}}}}

[k5commando]

Re: One thing I noticed

I have friends who are the same way. They complain non stop about their weight and then pull a twinkie out of their pocket saying " I can't give up my morning doughnuts or pizza". Scary thing is, I was the same way untill I was educated on Atkins by my best friend. It takes a friend to show you the way sometimes.

Just like one of the board members here says in her sig "keep doin' what your doin' and you'll keep gettin' what your gettin'". (Sorry I can't remember who it is).

Sometimes I feel like I'm preaching to people about this WOE, then again I think I've earned the right to do so. If they ask, I tell. Don't feel bad about what you said to your friend. Sometimes it takes a smack in the face or a kick in the a$$ by reality to make you stand up and realize that if your don't like the way you are then get off your potato chip eatin', couch loungin', double fudge brownie sunday butt and get to the gym and get it done! If I can do it then ANYONE can do it.

[Moochiecat]

Re: One thing I noticed

I work with a young lady who is about 4 foot 10 and very obese...I'd say she was around 250 or so...she's like a little round ball of a person, and I'm not saying that to be mean or sarcastically cute. I want SO much to help her, but she's made it abundantly clear she's not wanting to change.
Every morning she comes in with the big size of Starbucks Hot Chocolate and the other day for a snack she went to the ice cream place and had some sort of $6 ice cream thing. At the staff meeting the boss had chocolates, candies and cookies ( and a big package of salted nuts so I'd have something too!) and her eyes were just riveted to the sweets. It's heartbreaking because she's so young...she's under 20.
She is scared of climbing the ladder...she broke the little footstool we use and she makes comments all the time about her weight.
I think we all know that when the time is right, the time is right and we can't force people to get to that point, but it's just so hard watching them, isn't it?

[RubyBegonia]

Re: One thing I noticed

Sometimes there are serious emotional issues involved in eating, particularly for women, and we need to be careful where we tread. As a victim of incest and verbal abuse, growing up with alcoholics, I can tell you that. For some of us, eating is an escape, a comfort, a covert pleasure, perhaps a safety mechanism (my victimizer hated fat women). Sometimes feeble excuses are covering up for these issues. Sometimes it takes years of painful therapy and self-discovery to figure that out.

And sometimes people just don't want to work that hard.

You just never know.

[ttdriver]

Re: One thing I noticed

Anything worth having is worth working for.

Its just way too easy to make excuses and be a victim than it is to step up to the plate and take charge of your life.

I should know, I did that long enough. NEVER AGAIN!

Betty

[slimndown]

Re: One thing I noticed

Ruby - *hugs* To add to your point, sometimes it's not just the comfort but the defense the fat brings on as in a situation similar to yours, fat would actally give you more power to defend yourself. Lots of eating disorders from anorexia to binge eating are about power and control. Yes, it's sad that it results in such miserable people who refuse to take contol differently. It is hard, but sometimes it takes toughness. Years from now, when people like that get tired of being the way they are, what you said will stick because it hurt so much, but mostly because it's true - and then it will be a help. Also, at that point, someone else would have confirmed what you said - be it Dr. Phil or another well meaning person who gets tough - maybe even a therapist.

[Gknight]

Re: One thing I noticed

I just wish I could do more for her, Maybe with me sticking to it my body changes will insipre her.

[ladyinred]

Re: One thing I noticed

I just wish I could do more for her, Maybe with me sticking to it my body changes will insipre her.

They say the best way to lead is by example. Maybe when she see's how healthy and happy you are, and that you haven't died from exercising and not eating twinkies, she'll re-think her position and come ask you about it.

[RubyBegonia]

Re: One thing I noticed

That'd work for me!

Maybe if you let her stew about what you said, mull it over for awhile, she'll come around. My best friend lost a bunch of weight and I was so jealous I could barely stand it. It didn't take me very long to realize that I wanted that for myself too. A couple of months of watching her eat grilled chicken salads while I ate like a pig, hearing about her clothes getting baggy and how much she'd lost, how much better she felt, and I couldn't stand myself anymore.

So here I am. Now I order a grilled chicken salad too (but I don't have to have that nasty fat-free dressing and I don't have to pick off the cheese - she does WW).

She might be angry and hurt right now, but hopefully your friend will eventually realize that you are only frustrated because you care about her and you want to share this wonderful new life you've found with her.

[wayless]

Re: One thing I noticed

I think it's great that all of us have finally gotten to the point that we are taking charge of our weight issues and taking action. But remember, no one has a gun to any of our heads and are forcing us to do this. This is something that we've all come to want to do for our own very private reasons.

Many of us spent years and years and years being obese and HATING being fat, but yet we never did anything. Something had to click inside each one of us to make us take the step from internal turmoil and self-hate to ACTION.

I would hate for us to believe that because we have crossed that very difficult threshold to lose weight that we can be critical or judgemental of others who have not chosen to do so or who just haven't found that inner voice or reason.

It's great to want to help. I would even say it's natural. But I would also say it's really presumptuous to expect people to make the same choices that we have made. Nobody...NOBODY could make me lose weight. Not even the people I love the MOST in this world (my husband, my parents) they could not force me to do anything. I had to wrestle with this internally, and one day, I reached my saturation point and decided I have to do something. We are all different and have different motivations for changing or staying the way we are, and I think that's a personal journey that we have to take as individuals.

After I've lost my weight, I hope to inspire others to do the same, but I don't want to ever judge anyone else for their choices since I was free to make up my own mind.

[RubyBegonia]

Re: One thing I noticed

Well said, Wayless!

[Rubysugar]

Re: One thing I noticed

Everyone here has said it well!
You may have hurt her feelings and upset your relationship, but if it sinks in, you may have just literally saved her life.
I hope she comes around.
You are doing just excellent and seeing that may make the difference for her.

[patchesintexas]

Re: One thing I noticed

You know you just can't make someone take care of themselves, I worked with a gal that started out much thinner than I was, now in the last year I have shed 34 lbs and she gained who knows how much lets just say now I am thinner not a lot thinner but I know I weigh less, I did try to get her to join me on my journey but she just said it was too hard.

[Chris]

Re: One thing I noticed

We can't force our WOL on others, just as we wouldn't want others to force theirs on us. However, I know that sometimes I feel that I've made a discovery that's almost as important as a cure for cancer, and I want the rest of the world to "get it!" Sadly, most never will.