When Things Just Don't Go As Planned

[Jasmain]

I first started Atkins a couple of years ago. It took me three months to lose the 30 pounds I wanted to lose, and I kept it off until June of 2004. Surgery, depression and a generally crappy and emotional time took me off plan, and left me with 60 pounds to lose by the time I finally realized how much I was missing being able to move in November of 2005, when I started living true to my dream and to this WOE and WOL again.

This time, I'm not so lucky. I'm older and slower to lose, and many times, especially during the three week stall that I had not too long ago, and the only losing 2 pounds a week when I have lost, I've had to re-evaluate my dream, and decide what was more important, that I was frustrated, or that I felt better. It's not easy, living with the harder time I'm having this time. It's not easy, living with the cravings that still hit me when I cook something I love for my family. It's not easy, watching the scale sit for weeks while I'm trying so hard.

When I feel like letting go and eating until I feel sick just to have the things I crave, I have to face things. If I give in, where will I end up? How much weight will I have to lose then? How much crappier will I feel? How much less will I want to move? Do I feel better? YES! Do I look better? YES! Do I like myself more? YES! AM I EATING HEALTHIER? YES! Did I waste 38 years of my life stuffing my face with things that could kill me? YES!

So.. why do I think it should all melt off overnight. Why do I think it should only take me a few months to undo all the damage it took me years to do to myself. I can't think that way. I've wasted enough of my life thinking I shouldn't do this because it's taking too long. How long is long enough? However long it takes, that's how long. Making myself healthy will never take "too long".

[ladyinred]

Re: When Things Just Don't Go As Planned

Making myself healthy will never take "too long".

Exactly. I'm sorry you're struggling Jas. I guess we all do at one point or another. Hang in there baby, you're doing great! And you're worth it!

P.S. I see Kricket's grown up some. Nice.

[Jasmain]

Re: When Things Just Don't Go As Planned

I've been meaning to post something about this for a while, since before I started following the plan again. I'm doing wonderfully, and mostly this is about how I felt, about why I came back, and about why, no matter how hard it gets or how little sense it makes at times, you should never give up. What exactly would I be giving up to go back to? Nothing good. I may be gung ho now, but there was a time when nothing made sense, and I was cozy, and plump, and living inside my comfy box. I'm so glad I came out, and looking back isn't an option. Knowing where I came from makes me strong.

[not2late]

Re: When Things Just Don't Go As Planned

Good for you!

Losing weight is only one aspect of getting healthy.

[Rick]

Re: When Things Just Don't Go As Planned

Nice post Jasmain. Very well put together. Thanks for sharing. And, you're doing great!

Rick

[Elizellen]

Re: When Things Just Don't Go As Planned

Thanks for posting your thoughts, Jasmain. I am sure many of us can relate to your struggles.

[Jasmain]

Re: When Things Just Don't Go As Planned

Thank you, you guys and gals. Exactly why I came back here when I started, the wonderful people.

[cruiser gal]

Re: When Things Just Don't Go As Planned

The fact that you're still here, and coming back, is success in itself. It shows that you do care about yourself and your health. You're definately on the right track. Just keep moving ahead!

[didy]

Re: When Things Just Don't Go As Planned

Your post speaks to me. It cries out the TRUTH that I have to face that part of myself that is weak. Why does it have to be food?! Unfortunately, I wear my weakness in my fat belly. People can tell what my weakness is by looking at me.

You were in the deep water, you were struggling with just staying afloat when you went through that crap. Then, when you walk out on dry land, you're mad at yourself for going out in the deep water. WHAT!? Life took you out into the deep water. You struggled. And you're back safe and sound now on dry land. You can look back at what caused you to be weak-and hopefully you'll be able to get through the next surge.

The scary thing for me is-not knowing when life is going to take me out into the deep water again. It might be someone's death, a job loss, financial collapse, or whatever. Today, I feel strong. I am relying on God to take me through the deep waters. But as trusting of God that I am-it wasn't that long ago-I was in the deep water. When my strength was gone-I did not rely on God. I turned to food.

I'm still trying to get over hating myself for going back to my previous way of eating. But, I pray, that I learned something about myself that will make that be the last time I almost drown.

Sorry-I rambled. But your post helped me remember that as good as I'm doing today, I am as susceptible as I was last fall. If nothing else, this time around, I am more humble. Hopefully, by God's hand, I'm not as vulnerable.
didy

[Jasmain]

Re: When Things Just Don't Go As Planned

Didy, just remember, if you falter, you're human, if you quit, an inanimate object (food) has control of where you are going, and that's not right. Be true to yourself, and pray, it will all work out. After all, if you quit, where are you going?

[2big4mysize]

Re: When Things Just Don't Go As Planned

whew Glad you explained. cause I was geting worried after reading about your inches and pounds lost eariler.

Love your last line. I hope every ADBBer learns that too.

[ttdriver]

Re: When Things Just Don't Go As Planned

GREAT POST, JAS!! I love it when that WAKE UP call comes. I remember the day it came for me. It saved my life.

You're absolutely right; there is NOTHING GOOD to go back to. Just many healthy days ahead!

KEEP ON!

Betty

[Deklen]

Re: When Things Just Don't Go As Planned

Jas,
I know how hard things were for you hunny and how far you have come. I am so proud of how hard you have worked and how strong you have been. You are an inspiration to me and everybody else.
I love you Jas
Brett

[LC_Dave]

Re: When Things Just Don't Go As Planned

Jas good call on coming back.

So why doesn't your family eat low carb ? Low carb is the optimum nutrition for everyone! It brings health to all. I even know normal weight people that stay in ketosis because it has health benefits.

You could always cook the meal and just not tell em.

When my fiancee's 17 year old cousin stayed with us for a week I just fed him what we were eating. At the end of the week I told him we were on a diet and that he had been eating diet food. he was liek "BS... that's not diet food!" LOL
When I took my father to TGI Fridays and he say the steak on the Low Carb Menu, he said "This is low carb ?" and then proceeded to order it for himself! he he

my point is: This way of eating is either healthy for most humans, or it's just a diet gimmic. I think it's healthy.

Eating white bread and pasta is not healthy and never will be, no matter the fat content!

[Jasmain]

Re: When Things Just Don't Go As Planned

I would love it if my family would all eat like I do, and I do my best to cut down on the junk in the house. My husband is a thin rail, he'd be healthier HEAVIER. My children are 17 and 15. I don't force feed anyone, even those close to me, this WOE. My daughter is the 15 year old and she is very impressionable. I do not under any circumstances want to press upon her at this age that she's fat. I don't even want to give her an inkling, because I have seen parents cause their daughters to start to have serious self esteem issues and eating problems just by talking too much about how fat they are themselves, even without saying the child is. If someone takes notice and asks me, I of course explain as much of it as they can stand in one sitting! My son has begun his own eating/exercise routine because he leaves to join the marines boot camp in July. He has lost at least 50 pounds and gotten in shape simply eating less, and things that are healthy for teens. He's doing great on his own.

Everyone, I suppose, has a different view on this, but I guess it's because no one else in my family (kids, hubby) has a weight problem, or a problem with junk food. I'm the one who needed the change. They are always welcome to ask questions, we talk about this a lot, my kids and I, and they know the door is always open if they are interested, but so far... none but me has an issue with weight/health.