I feel that the past year . . . (long)

[cmcole]

has been a big waste of time.

Let me review, for those who don't know:

- in the autumn of 2004, I was without a job, and decided to join the Reserves
- I exercised and started running, so I could pass the fitness test
- this I did, in December 2004
- through a strange set of circumstances, the medicals got delayed (from my doctor) and I didn't enrol until March 1, 2005
- was sent to Basic Training in May, 2005
- was sent home early June because of a shoulder injury
- worked hard with chiropractor and exercises to recover
- seemed to be acceptably healed, but every time I went on Exercise with the Unit, it seemed to flare up again
- this led to a recent decision (albeit a very tough one to make) to put in my release, and just concentrate on maintaining health and spending time with my family, rather than continue with my military service and risk further or permanent injury

- now, this morning I stepped on the scale, which I had been more-or-less ignoring, and am heavier than I was when I joined, even though my clothes still fit.

I am depressed, upset, discouraged, and a whole list of other emotions/feelings.

I feel that I have not accomplished anything that I intended to do, and am at an impasse in my life, where I feel that I've wasted time away from my family that I will never regain, only to have it been a meaningless endeavor.

[floydgirl]

Re: I feel that the past year . . . (long)

First accomplishment I noticed -- you exercised and started running so you could pass your Fitness Test. Which you passed! When you were heavier, had you ever imagined you could accomplish something like this?

You made a decision to join the Reserves. I have the utmost respect and admiration for those who are willing to serve their country in that capacity. What a giving person you are!

When you got your shoulder injury did you give up? No, you worked hard with a chiropractor and dedicated yourself to exercises to recover. That would have been so easy to say "I got hurt, I give up". NO -- you perservered.

OK, now the scale -- everybody knows I preach about how evil the scale is! You say your clothes feel the same? It sounds like you've been exercising a lot? You've been building muscle -- muscle weights more than fat, etc.

Look at how much you've accomplished in the past year! This has not been meaningless. Look at the resolve and dedication you've had!

A lot of people would have quit when the going got tough. You are one tough lady.

Hang in there!

[Kate113]

Re: I feel that the past year . . . (long)

Remember that muscle weighs more than fat. I bet that's why the scale is the same.

I can see how your past year would not be feeling real good for you right now. Try to put it in the past and look forward to your future. I know it's easier said than done, but now is the time to spend more quality time with your family and get healthy.

[I lost it]

Re: I feel that the past year . . . (long)

I have seen people go thru similiar disappiontment, and not have a family to go back to.You have i'm sure a fantastic family that needs you and wants you to be happy.You will figure out what you need to do.Your life is important to them, make it as happy and healthy as you possibly can.

[2big4mysize]

Re: I feel that the past year . . . (long)

FloydGirl beat me to it I remember when you made that decision to do it.
you have a great life experience. you overcame injury and worked hard to reach your goals. you made wise choises when confrontedd with the facts and didn't foolishing continue on a path you could not obtain. You can't change any of those events, but you can change your view of them. You can claim a womderful vitory with that experience or you can label it a defeat in your mind. So what you going to do for excitement this yr?

One thing though muscle does not weigh more then fat it is denser but 1 pound of muscle weighs the same as one pound of fat. You have morphed your body is what you did. you have shed fat mass and added healthy lean body mass which is why even though you are heavier you are still the same size.
Have you been able to determine your current body fat? I know I chased the elusive goal number for moinths until I figured out I had added so much lean body tissue working out that my current weight even though it was higher then the scale number I wanted it was underweight cause I had less then 15% body fat.

[ttdriver]

Re: I feel that the past year . . . (long)

AMEN FLOYDGIRL!!!!

Betty

[dreamof145]

Re: I feel that the past year . . . (long)

I totally agree with the previous comments. You have been tested and you came out a winner. We don't always get the instant results we are looking for in life, but each hurdle that you overcame made you stronger and prepared you for your future achievements. In my book...you have definitely proved that you are not a quitter. I'm proud to have you on my team.

[kellygirl2]

Re: I feel that the past year . . . (long)

I may be alone in this, but even if I weighed 180 lbs and still fit into a size 8, I would be happy!!!

I saw a picture once in a women's mag of 8 woman of all different ages, races, haircolors, heights and sizes-fat to very fit/slim. The caption asked "What do all these women have in common?"

Turned out they all weighed the same, even though they ranged in size from 16 to 8!

[cmcole]

Re: I feel that the past year . . . (long)

Thank you all for your inspiring comments.

No, Floydgirl, I have not tested my body fat, nor do I have a clue as to how to do it.

For excitement this year, my goal is to run the Tely 10, I believe. It is in July, and is ten miles (16 km?). An old measurement for Canadian terms, but tradition.

Haven't set any other goals, yet, as I've been trying to overcome the feelings of failure that are self-imposed and enduring. Comparing myself to others (even if they are the age of my children) has been difficult to get over, but, as you have stressed, is something that should not be the focus of my thoughts.

I was proud to serve my country, albeit for a short space of time. I am still proud to support the military, as I've been married to a Navy guy for 25 years, now.

Perhaps my radio training will lead to something else career-wise; perhaps it will just be another life experience I can keep under my hat. What is in store is not always clear, but I need to take the first step from here, and continue with the remainder of my life, rather than focusing on what I have perceived as negatives.

Thank you for the other viewpoint. I knew you folks were just where I needed to go for a different perspective.

[sallyseachange]

Re: I feel that the past year . . . (long)

Yay Floydgirl... I agree totally! Look on the bright side Cmcole... You're right; there always is a 'different perspective'.

Sal