Seeking advice for my brother...

[Jellybean1984]

So I live beside my parents and my brother is overweight to, I worry for him cause going up like 5 stairs leaves him out of breath, my mom is too, I have been trying to convince him to go on this 'diet', but he said he couldn't do it before it was not for him. and yesturday I seen how much impact my loss is not motivating him what so ever if anything I think hes trying to tempt me to stop.. I have 2 brothers all of us overweight. Jay lost his weight a few years ago then there was 2 of us left, now I am losing weight and i dont think he wants to be alone as far as that goes, but he wont even try...
he bought 2 of my fav things...Smarties ice cream and jamaican patties, hes like look what I got, don't you wish you were not on this diet. I looked at him and said, no I am glad I am on this diet down 24 lbs and not filling my face with sugar, I told him sugar wasnt even tempting for me. which is true.
My mom worries for him she always said that to me, she hasnt really had a huge concern for me cause I am active and I dont breath heavy over small tasks. etc. but hes getting worse, and I fear for everything hes eatting himself to. his tummy hangs below his shirt, his pants are to tight his shirts dont fit well, and he doesn't care...he never has veggies in his frisge or nothing. I dont know what to do he wont even do weight watchers which is pretty easy just alot of effort in counting.
I feel at a loss and I want to see him happy...anyone have any ideas what to do...

[Super Duper Matt]

Re: Seeking advice for my brother...

When famlies seek advice for addicts and alcoholics many of them are told only when the individual reaches bottom he will attemp to seek help and to not to be one of their enablers. For example give them money or retain them on the job when they call in sick a few times a week.

Food addiction is the same way. Only when he hits bottom and decides he needs to make changes in his own life will he start the process rolling. It soulds like to me if he is trying to get you to quit your diet, the best thing for you to do is show him how rewarding it can be to loose weight and how commited you are.

You and I are still babies when it comes to this WOE. I don't think its fair to start trying to force convert people since we have just started. Maybe 6 months down the line we can tell people how things should be done but for right now, we are just figuring out things for ourselves.

Have you thought about joining an Overeaters Anonymous group?

[Jellybean1984]

Re: Seeking advice for my brother...

My brother was on some medication when he was younger that threw him into seasures (i cant spell) 4 years messed him up he doesnt think like others do. he is unable to live without someone, because he takes on a huigely messy lifestyle to the point of no beleif if i explained ur jaw would drop.
The thing is he is never going to relise it...hes total function like everyone his way of seeing is different.
I donno I love him and I am not trying to get him on this diet just anything, or even be aware of what hes doing to himself...
guess it is hopeless I will pray for him

[sombersusie]

Re: Seeking advice for my brother...

Hey Jenler, just wanted to say I think you are doing great! I know it's really hard to have the answer right there and for someone to say im not interested in it. My husband, Kent, had to go through the same thing with me in fact for over a year! He lost 220 lbs on Atkins and even though i was envious of him i didn't want to give up my food. I told myself if i just eat less i can lose weight too. *wrong answer!*
Now that I'm on the diet and not cheating i'm doing well. So now i'm experiencing the same thing you are...I have a friend and her husband who are both overweight. I am so concerned about their health, (i gave them the dandr) and its like here it is! the answer to help you with those cravings!! But i keep my mouth shut and hope that by my success it will make them want to give atkins a try too.
You just can't force anyone to do it. No one could force me either, its a personal thing. Just keep losing the weight and being supportive emotionally for your family and maybe they'll come around.

[Jellybean1984]

Re: Seeking advice for my brother...

Thanks, yeah it is just hard to see, If I could when I lose my weight id take all his and then work 100% hard again to lose it if i could have him healthier...hes so far from healthy they(doctor) keep telling him he has to do something.
Guess it is just frustrating to see my brother slowly sticking the knife in.

[Jellybean1984]

Re: Seeking advice for my brother...

I really appreciate the advice given, I think I am going to make a before after collage of the people on the site, is this okay or am I not aloud doing it? I was to post it on my wall for insperation for me and so he can maybe see that it IS possible.

[Eleonore]

Re: Seeking advice for my brother...

HI,
it is so wonderful of you to be worried about your brother.
I think he is now beginning to understand that you are changing, that soon he will be the only big one. He is trying to level you two in a negative way, "Im not going to diet so I better keep her fat too."
Dont apy much attention, dont complain or try to force him. If he gets more things you love, just say thanks and ignore them.
When he is ready,he will ask for informations about what you are doing and stuff...dont force him, it is a decision only he can make.

all the best

Ele

[Discolemonade]

Re: Seeking advice for my brother...

First off
Jenler, I am telling you, when he's starts REALLY seeing your loss (it took 40+ pounds for me, to get people asking) he may start getting curious about the diet. Try and make your awesome & filling meals more visible to him, so he can see how good you get to eat... I admire your love for your brother and think he is a lucky guy to have you for a sister.

You can be his inspiration.


xoxo
DiscoLemonade

[Jellybean1984]

Re: Seeking advice for my brother...

awws there goes my emotions, i get all teary so easy!...disco thanks your sweet, yeah thats a good idea, I hope it works, I love both mybrothers alot there my everything were a close family.
Ele thanks for the advice. I have asked him if he wanted to join me he said its not right for him and I told him, okay. I dropped it after that. I think showing him the plus sides without showing him will be good. thanks you guys.

[Binsk]

Re: Seeking advice for my brother...

It's wonderful that you are so concerned for your brother. I saw on TV a number of years ago, that children that suffered from frequent seizures benefited from a high fat/ low carb diet through one of the big name clinics like Mayo Bros. or Johns Hopkins, where the frequency of their seizures was greatly reduced, you might want to do a little research and show your brother. Someone else here might remember more details.

[Elizellen]

Re: Seeking advice for my brother...

This is an old press release I found in a quick google for 'Atkins' and 'seizures' but you might find uptodate info here too.
http://www.hopkinsmedicine.org/Press.../12_09_03.html