I am out of control.

[loser4life]

well, no better today. I suck. I drank lotsa water, the day started off good, then today was the last day of my teaching job and they made me a cake... well, that is all it took to make me an eating maniac... I am literally driving myself crazy- the more I think about it the more I know I am cycling over and over- emotions make me eat, I eat and feel bad, leading back to the beginning. sheesh. I did go to the gym today however, My ankles and legs were so swollen that it hurt too much to run I did walk fro a bit more than a mile. I know I need to just suck it up and do it., I am goign to cancun in like 10 weeks. I know my ankles and legs were sore from swelling water weight, I have gained almost 10lbs. What the &^%*% is wrong with me!!!!!!!! I am going to go into the kitchen in the morning, and make a quiche to eat off of for breakfast the rest of the week. I have to do this! I can't fail.... I have failed too many times and I want this soo bad... I don't understand myself sometimes, why can't I just do it... Its like I will do good for soooooooooooo long and then blow it, then I can't stop blowing it!!!!!!!

[Austlyn]

Re: I am out of control.

I understand for me it was the Girl Scout Cookies an then I was completly out of comtrol I am doing bettter but not good enough. We can make a packed to just do an insuction if u want.

[tabekat]

Re: I am out of control.

well, no better today. I suck.

I can't stop blowing it!!!!!!

make me an eating maniac

Atkins is perfect for eating maniacs.
I'm an eating maniac. Go ahead and embrace
that about yourself. You love to eat, and its a
wonderful thing!

So eat. Liberal portions of meat, fish, eggs, 3 cups of veggies and 4 ounces of cheese. Eat and stay full.

It is extremely important to speak kindly to yourself.
Self-recrimination is not empowering and it will keep you cheating.

You are a hero. You are a divine being.

If you have a little moment where you forget to do the right thing, just get right back on the program with your next bite.

How about this:

"I am beautiful and I love myself so I nuture myself with healthy foods in abundant portions."

You can do this.

Do stop putting pressure on yourself about that Cancun trip. Do stay away from the scale. Do eliminate behaviors that sabotage your happiness and Atkins success.

From this moment on, resolve to love yourself the way that you are now. Eat healthy. Exercise a normal amount. Enjoy life to the fullest. Just sitting there breathing, you are all you ever need to be and there
isn't anything you need to add on top of that.

[Elmark]

Re: I am out of control.

I understand you...I had a piece of apple pie yesterday, and it was sooo god, that I had another piece....and then a little ice cream....

I did bad over the weekend, and I can feel that the sugar isn't out of my system yet....

You have done it once, and you can do it again....why don't we just jump back on the wagon and do good today.....how about that???

[big_bad_john]

Re: I am out of control.

Back to induction for you my dear.

[D3anna]

Re: I am out of control.

Rikki I know exactly how you feel, because I've been in the same place as you many times. You'd think that after losing so much weight you'd be even 10 times more motivated to not cheat and keep it off...but the truth is it isn't that easy.

I'm right back to where I started. 3 years ago I got on this WOE and did great, got down to 150 (only 5-10 pounds from where I wanted to be) and then for some reason I blew it...I think it was our anniversary trip to london or something...anyway, ever since that time I started making excuses to cheat...I had a bad day...it's someones anniversary...don't have time to cook...blah blah blah...those excuses led me right back up to my old weight, and now I'm having to start all over again.

You know what though, it's okay that I'm having to start over...because I have learned something from my mistakes. I learned that I can't make excuses to cheat because it will just completely throw me off track...I've learned what foods to stay away from because they cause me to crave junk food and I know I don't have the willpower to not cheat when I get those strong cravings, so I just stay away from trigger foods now and avoid the whole scenario all together.

I do understand that when your in a situation like what you had with the cake and being around other people that it can be really hard. If you had a piece of cake, don't beat yourself up about it...just let that moment pass you by, and keep on track, don't let it be a reason to make you go on a binge, because then your just finding a reason to screw up.

Write down your feelings when you feel like you want to cheat, you'll be surprised to read them again in a day or two. Sometimes we forget really easily what causes us to want to cheat in the first place...when you write it down, you learn what your weakness is and you will become more aware of it.

Be positive...put downs and negative thoughts about me never getting the weight off, and that I'm a failure never helped me to lose any extra weight...but when I think of losing another 5 pounds, and fitting into my old jeans, I'm extra motivated to just keep going on! Being positive will help you have much better results!

You have lots of friends here willing to help ya out...so if you get out of control again, before you go crazy come here first and read all the wonderful comments/tips you got from everyone here.

By the way, you look sooooo pretty in your during pic!!!

[presidentholmes]

Re: I am out of control.

Well done you for recognising it and getting back on board!
I had a similar experience recently and I have to recognise the fact that I have a problem with food. I won't have 1 donut, I'll have the whole box and then another box!
Well, I too am back on plan now, fighting through the detox headaches and the other yucky stuff. A thing that would put me off being bad again is going through the detox again LOL!
But anyway, we're back on track now and we know we feel great when we're being good don't we?
Also, may I take a moment to say that you look absolutely gorgeous in your pics, all 4 of them.

[sunflowergrl]

Re: I am out of control.

It was just the one day, and you have the rest of your life to look forward to! It doesn't make you a bad person, there is nothing wrong with you. Some of us just have trouble with food, but we are still great people who deserve to be healthy and happy. Today is a new day, and it will be wonderful!!! Take care of yourself and please let us know how you are doing.

[penniedo]

Re: I am out of control.

I have a picture of me hanging on my refrigerator at my heaviest weight. I have a bathingsuit that I really want to look good in this summer sitting in my underware drawer so I see it the minute I open the drawer, I have an outfit that I want to fit in for a party this spring hanging in front of my closet... I need these constant reminders staring me in the face to keep me on track so when I see that piece of cake and than see that fat picture of me on my fridge I think "is it worth it??"

[2big4mysize]

Re: I am out of control.

for a carboholic the key is to avoid the triggering event. for you it was the cake.

How could you have avoided it you say? well in our DANDR DR Atkins tells us to recruit our coworkers friends and family to be part of our support network. Looks like you didn;'t do that or a cake for your last day never would have appeared.

Take his advice and tell you you are eating healthier and need to avoid the high sugar foods and other foods not allowed on your plan because you don't have control of your shutoff mechanism and will be binging for days just like an alcoholic does with booze. Treat your illness as a real one andyou willnot allow yourself to be triggered.

If you have difficulty identifying the triggering events and foods then keep that journal of your eating we discussed moths ago ofwho what when where why and how along with the foods. Patterns will emerge and you will then know you need to s=take steps to avoid it like saying the week before you quit "I'M so glad y'all understand about my healthy eating plan so I don't have to worry about cake wrecking it next week when I leave" you have planted the seed and they will come up with something healthy to celebrate your day.

Now get that mental image 0of those swollen ankles and your entire body big like your before pick doing cancun and you should have no trouble running away from that with your Atkins induction eating untikl you have stabilized your blood sugar andhave control again.

Happy low carbing.

[loser4life]

Re: I am out of control.

Thank you everyone. I am going to do this- I am doing this. I just had breakfast(eggs with sausage and lotsa water! I am on my way to the gym to workout, then I will be back for lunch and to check in on these boards...I need these boards~!!!

I am gogni to put that bathing suit in my top drawer as suggested, and I am gogin to put the cocktail dress I bought in my closet in the front instead of inthe back... I am going to hang a bunch of pics from different summers on my fridge so I can look how far I have come and know where I am going ... I did try on a bunch of stuff I had from last summer some of it bought on sale after summer was over and it is all now tooooo big... Ebay here it comes! lol I gotta make some money off of them so I can buy new ones! Well, I am in a much better state of mind and I willstay this way! I can do this... maybe I need to add the cheat free thingy back in my siggy... hmmm, it seemed to kick me off the last time. I am on my way!

penniedo- that bathing suit is the one I just bought for my trip and I love it! I got the black one! They are very flattering!

[Isabeau]

Re: I am out of control.

Good for you. You can do this. Making changes with regards to food can be so difficult. Food is complicated. It's not just nourishment for people. It's tied to us emotionally in so many ways not all of which are bad. Our health and well being though is so much more important than a piece of cake, especially if it sets us off. Good for you for figuring out yourself. That's half the battle!

[penniedo]

Re: I am out of control.

penniedo- that bathing suit is the one I just bought for my trip and I love it! I got the black one! They are very flattering!

Oh, cool!! It's such a cute suit!! I'm waiting till the end of this month to order mine. (hopefully I will be able to order a smaller size by than!) I can't wait to see it!! I keep the picture in my siggy as another reminder not to cheat!!

[loser4life]

Re: I am out of control.

You will love it! So cute! and such a good price! I ordered 2 from there, I got the white ruffles one too but it wasn't so flattering , so I will send it back, I like this one so much though I am thinking of sending the white one back and getting another color besides black! I also bought the crochet halter but the sizes ran big on it so I am goign to have to send it back for a different size. I love their stuff, I am ordering some more soon! They have great prices too!

[penniedo]

Re: I am out of control.

You will love it! So cute! and such a good price! I ordered 2 from there, I got the white ruffles one too but it wasn't so flattering , so I will send it back, I like this one so much though I am thinking of sending the white one back and getting another color besides black! I also bought the crochet halter but the sizes ran big on it so I am goign to have to send it back for a different size. I love their stuff, I am ordering some more soon! They have great prices too!

I love your taste! That white ruffled one is very cute! So the sizes ran a bit big?? Thanks for letting me know that. It will help me figure out what size to order. I seem to be loosing from the bottom up so my bottom is almost 2 sizes smaller than my top! Anybody interested in nice inexpensive bathingsuits, check it out! http://www.newport-news.com