Question for moms (a little OT)

**Brook** · September 3, 2007, 04:40 PM

Re: Question for moms (a little OT)

Depending on how many kids they're toting around, a stroller may not only be the most convenient option for them, but the most safe. Kids in a stroller are contained, and in a busy public area, that's a GOOD thing. Add to that simply trying to be considerate of the people around you. If you know your kid is going to run around like a wild little animal, carting them around in a stroller may well be partially about trying to be considerate of the other people who paid good money to see the exihibits and not trip over your running-rampant kid! Conversely, if we let the little rats run around, not only do we risk losing track of them - and it happens ALL too easily, but then they can touch stuff they shouldn't, wiggle into places they shouldn't, and if you should

dare to put a wrist leash on your child, you've got a whole 'nother group of nosey busy-bodies telling you how HORRIBLE you are for doing such a thing. It's a no win situation.

You didn't find it difficult because you don't do it all the time. Try doing that on a daily basis with 2, 3, 4 kids in tow, with little to no sleep, 3 loads of laundry under your belt, after making breakfast, pinning 3 of them down to brush hair/brush teeth/wash faces/ rewash faces/take the bugs out of their pockets/finding their shoes/packing their snacks/etc etc etc and then tell me whether or not you find it difficult! Just getting out the freakin' door can be an olympic event. LOL While I understand you've babysat your nieces, if you're not with those kids 24/7 and towing them along with you through life..well....sorry..but it just ain't the same!

4 & 5 year olds get tired, and bringing along a stroller can make sure that everyone else in the group doesn't get shorted out of an enjoyable afternoon because Timmy is too tired, too whiny to walk and too darn heavy to carry!

For the most part, I agree with you. 4 & 5 year old kids should be walking on their own through most venues. It's purely convenience on the parent's part. Kids that age are more than capable and should be made to walk and participate as the decent little social beings we're supposed to be bringing them up to be, for sure. There's a time and a place for everything though - and having raised my 3 kids through toddler/preschool age-hood and surviving, I try really hard not to be judgemental on things like that. Now a 3, 4 or 5 year old with a binky ? Whollllllllllllllllle different deal. LOL

However, I'd be hard pressed to agree with you that strollers are contributing to childhood obesity. Parents just don't have kids out in public venues like that often enough or long enough for me to believe it to be a real factor. - At least I didn't. If you've got 2, 3, or 4 kids underfoot, the LAST thing you're going to be spending a ton of time doing is hanging out at the museum, the mall, or anywhere else.

I was too busy trying to connect two thoughts in a row, do the sniff test on the clothes I was pulling out of the laundry pile for myself because I could never find time to do MINE (kids - done. Mine? Not so much so!) and get an opportunity to pee by myself.

**lancelotsgirl** · September 3, 2007, 04:42 PM

Re: Question for moms (a little OT)

Hey there, I can attest to your question that it is nonsense to have such large and older children in the stroller if they're in a place that they can walk. I have 4 kids, 6, 5 and 4 year old twins. We rarely used the stroller with any of them. If they can walk, they can hold my hand and learn manners and how to behave. When they walk they learn how the world associates around them, such as keeping to the right when you walk in a hallway for example, or they learn to wait their turn in line, or how to say "excuse me" if they bump into someone.

The only time we really used the strollers was when we did go out somewhere like the zoo or the aquarium or it was very crowded place. But they were not forced to stay in there if they wanted to walk and look at things. Only when they were cranky and needed a nap did we make them stay in the stroller.

I have my hands full quite a bit when I go out somewhere with the kids, my husband and I each grab 2 hands and we work it out. My kids have learned how to cross the street AFTER looking, and how to observe crosswalk signs/signals to know when it is safe to cross, they also know how to find their way around a store. If I take them to the store with me, I make a game out of "helping" me kind stuff. It keeps them behaved, and I get to spend quality time with them. I could shove them in the shopping cart and tell them to *shut up* and hold on, but then it wouldn't be any fun for them.

To empathize with many parents, sometimes the stroller can be your best friend, but for older kids, it can be a bit ridiculous. Sometimes as a parent you have to plan what to do around your kid's schedules (eating and napping) until they're old enough to handle a full day out of the house.

**How Riveting** · September 3, 2007, 04:56 PM

Re: Question for moms (a little OT)

Brook, I understand that having that many kids must be exhausting. And I am guessing one of the reasons these days it is especially exhausting is just the sheer amount of things people are expected to do with their children in tow. I am only 25, but I do not recall my parents taking me to do a 1/4 of the things we do with my nieces.

I may be in the minority of childless people when I say this, but I PREFER watching kids being kids than seeing them couped up in a stroller. I'd rather a kid ran into me, laughing and burning off energy, than watching him sit in a stroller. Kids need to explore their world - AND screw up and get into trouble! That's how they learn.

I once took my three year old niece to six flags. I thought about renting a stroller, but when I saw the ginourmous, plastic monstronsity, I instantly discarded the idea. My niece was totally fine. We spent the whole day there, and it was only when we left, several hours later, that she started to unwind. Sure I had to carry her out of the park, but methinks that one of the reasons why she lasted so long is because she was much, much more physically fit than kids who are stuck in a stroller all the time.

**D14965** · September 3, 2007, 05:31 PM

Re: Question for moms (a little OT)

interesting thread .. and i agree with brook -- contrary to popular opinion mothers dont have eyes in the backs of their heads and sometimes it is safer to keep them in a stoller - and it would be an Expensive mistake for kids running amok in a place such as a museum to go stumbling into or knocking over a thousand year old ming vase!!! My children walked most of the time but on day long excursions a stroller is a good place for them to retreat to if they are tired ... and yes they are far too heavy at that age to carry!!!...MInd you, i have seen very large children in strollers that were obviously far too old for them ( eg the wheels were buckling out from under the stroller from the weight of the child!)but that is extreme and i have only seen it a few times.

***Wendy*** · September 3, 2007, 05:56 PM

Re: Question for moms (a little OT)

My daughter is Five and I STILL rent a stroller when we go to amusement parks (Disney, Busch Gardens, Sea World, etc.). That's a heap of walking for her little legs! Plus I have a place to stash our backpack, bottles of water, soveigners, etc. Also, I can push that buggy faster through the crowds than her little legs can walk, and we're able to see more of what we are there for before she gets too tired. Of course she hops out and walks whenever we get to each mini-destination.

**meena-beena** · September 3, 2007, 07:17 PM

Re: Question for moms (a little OT)

You know, it's not easy to do anything alone with more than one child. I myself have 4 children--9, 7, 4 and 3 months. The only one who uses a stroller when we go out is my infant daughter. l am very mindful of the disruption I cause whenever I take all of my kids anywhere. We are quite a site to behold. You'd never catch me in a museum unless it was a childrens museum and everything was touchable.

However, I have gone out with friends of mine who have LESS children that I and they insist to either buckle their kids into one of those monster shopping carts like you find in WalMart, trap them inside the regular shopping cart, or trap them in a stroller. They don't like going out with me because their kids give them grief because my kids are allowed to walk.

The reason they strap their kids in is so they can have some sanity and shop without the distracting task of actually looking after their kids. You can't imagine the fear that goes through you when you lose track of one of them. Kids in general are not loyal. They love to wander and in this day and age you fear the worst.

I never used the stroller or the shopping carts to haul around my kids. I chase them around the stores and have them help me shop and they only got to ride inside if they were tired (if I'd planed an outing during a regular naptime for instance).

You also have to understand that things have to get done. If I need to shop and get out of a store fast, then sticking my kid in the cart is easier than navigating aisles with a short person who can't walk fast and touches everything. Not to mention the evil people who design supermarkets sticks all the crap and junk food down on the lower shelves for children to grab and say--MOMMY PLEASE!!!

You've never lived until you've been trapped in an aisle at a supermarket watching your 3 yr old have a temper tantrum over some sugary piece of junk that you've just said no to. I took me a half hour to get down that one aisle. It would'ver been faster to scoop her into the cart but I waited her out, she settled down, and we both lived to talk about it.

I've also been in a walmart when my daughter--who'd just finished walking about an hour in the store and was tired and ready for bed, decided to have a fit at the register. I let her have her space while keeping an eye on her and a woman came out of nowhere and tried picking her up. That made her scream louder. When I looked at her she said, Are you just going to let her lay on the floor and scream like that?

She didn't have any kids with her and I'm assuming she had no experience with full blown tantrums so I smiled and said yes.

Most parents would've avoided the whole scene by just strapping the kid into something and letting them ride until the end. I love a challenge though?

But how can you blame the kids when nowadays you have cars with tv/dvd in them? They are lazy because we have 24/7 cartoon channels, a constant stream of unhealthy foods, endless video games and no exercise. I just saw something on Yahoo news about the three top video game consoles battling for Christmas. And the sad thing is that millions will be sold and stores will run out and more kids will be encouraged to sit in front of the tv holding a remote.

Strollers for a 5 year old are the least of our worries.

**Sheepie** · September 3, 2007, 07:24 PM

Re: Question for moms (a little OT)

My kids are 2yrs and 6yrs. and I can't remember the last time we used a stroller. As infants I usually used a sling and once they learned to walk, they mostly walked. In fact, I was thinking about freecycling our strollers now. Now, I am somewhat neurotic about them and they have to stay within a certain distance of me or I get very uncomfortable. A friend recently teased me about it and said that I should let them run farther ahead of me, but I couldn't do it. My 2yrs is still skinny and hopefully will stay that way. My 6yr old is a little chubby, so not using a stroller in this case doesn't support your point. I think with a little more exercise, he'll thin out. I haven't noticed a lot of older children in strollers, but I would think it odd too.

**How Riveting** · September 3, 2007, 07:30 PM

Re: Question for moms (a little OT)

But how can you blame the kids when nowadays you have cars with tv/dvd in them? They are lazy because we have 24/7 cartoon channels, a constant stream of unhealthy foods, endless video games and no exercise. I just saw something on Yahoo news about the three top video game consoles battling for Christmas. And the sad thing is that millions will be sold and stores will run out and more kids will be encouraged to sit in front of the tv holding a remote.

Strollers for a 5 year old are the least of our worries.

I think what you just wrote is was really causes a lot of my concern with having five year olds in strollers. Kids are ALREADY expected to just sit around all day long watching TV and playing video games. And then when they're at the museum, they're supposed to sit there and watch the museum like it's a TV. Thus, I think 5 year olds in strollers are, in a way, the MOST of worries. People have brought this sort of parenting out into the public sphere, and personally, I find disturbing. Heck, I was rarely even allowed in the house on a nice day when I was a kid. I was supposed to be outside playing. I cannot imagine all the nice free time my mom had to herself because I was outside playing ; ).

Likewise, lemme tell all you something - when I was five I would not have been caught dead in a stroller. Strollers were for babies, and I was a big girl. All my friends would have made fun of me, and justifiably so.

**How Riveting** · September 3, 2007, 07:32 PM

Re: Question for moms (a little OT)

Oh an meena-beena - seeing a kid having a tantrum in a wal-mart seems perfectly normal to me. Seeing a 6 year old denied the pleasure of walking - isn't.

**lancelotsgirl** · September 3, 2007, 07:37 PM

Re: Question for moms (a little OT)

Riveting,

lemme tell all you something - when I was five I would not have been caught dead in a stroller. Strollers were for babies, and I was a big girl. All my friends would have made fun of me, and justifiably so.

That is how my sisters and I felt growing up, we were big girls, our baby brother WAS the baby. I can't even tell you the last time I used a stroller with my twins, they'll be 4 tomorrow. I gave their double stroller away, I'll have to say about 2 years ago. They never used it, they preferred to walk (if it was safe of course).

The one thing I'm afraid of now for my kids are the DVD's and video games. We just moved to a new neighborhood FULL of kids, and not more than 3 or 4 can be found playing outside. My children love to play outside, they beg us to go out in the backyard all the time. We have to tell them no, really only when it's raining.
It is sad too though, how unsafe the streets and neighborhoods have gotten, kids nowadays are almost only safe in their own houses.

I remember growing up in Washington DC and being able to stay outside until the "streetlights" came on. Then we had to hang out right in front of our house or in the backyard, and there we'd play in the tee fort or catch lightning bugs. Times are very different now, I could never let my children hang out until it got dark and not worry to death.

It's difficult to find a happy medium to where your kids CAN be outside and be safe, you just have to be with them all the time.

**fatty mcfatison** · September 4, 2007, 02:52 AM

Re: Question for moms (a little OT)

I have 3 girls ages 6, 7, and 11. Most outing we can manage without a stroller. However, I still like to take a stroller or we have a fold-up wagon. It is just nice to have for bags and when the kid does tire out. When we went to Disney last month, I did not take the stroller or wagon thinking the kids would be so excited they wouldn't sit down. Ha. Days 1 and 2 both ended with me carrying my 6 year old from the back of the parks, to the resort busses, and in to the hotel room while the whole time the 7 year old whined about the heat and her legs being tired. Days 3 to 5 I rented a stroller and save everyone the hassle. I never worried about my kids becomming obsese from using the stroller. I worry about their diet and make sure they eat healthy foods. Most kids get excerise either at school, sports programs, or just playing. Even some of the video games will kick your butt. DDR anyone? Or even the Wii games. I am more concerned with what parents feed their children. My girls will eat anything and prefer fruits and veggies, but everyone always comments wow thats so unusual when the order. That to me is scarey. Or snacks in schools. I can not stand the mom who send in a box of cookies and koolaid as a snack. All my kids teachers have my cell and when they get this snack I come to the school and replace it. I do not understand why parents think this snack is helpful to children.It is very scarey what todays kids eat they come to school with candy bars, chips, a sandwich, sugar gummi snacks, and a soda and call it lunch. Spend a day at a watching kids eat and rust me stroller concerns will be the least of the issues.

**Hoping** · September 4, 2007, 05:57 AM

Re: Question for moms (a little OT)

I like children better in strollers. It makes me nervous to see little children hanging from the little museum bars--you know, the ones that are supposed to keep people from touching the exhibitions. I'm afraid they'll fall and hit their heads and cry. Now by the time they're five and six they should know how to behave themselves. But any kid up to 4 I think is okay in a stroller at the museum (and maybe even 4 years is pushing it)...unless they're in the children's room.

**MaggieBE** · September 4, 2007, 07:24 AM

Re: Question for moms (a little OT)

I have two living children(age 7, 3). I did use a stroller until my oldest was age four. It isn't unusual for us to leave the house very early in the morning and return at 10pm. We are walking most of that time. She still needed a nap at that point so a stroller was a nice way for that to happen without having to end the day early(sorry not going to drive to the coast and return after only a few hours because my daughter is tired and I dont want to bother anyone with my big jogging stroller).

I still use a stroller with my 3 year old but she likes to walk a lot. However when she gets tired she goes in her stroller and sleeps. I am sure that I could force her to walk and not relent. However on the way home she would fall asleep and wake up at home. Not end up going to bed until 2am.(and yes this has happened to me)

My daughters are both VERY active little girls. Currently they are outside playing football(soccer). They have always been like this and I only introduced tv when my oldest was around four. It is limited and so is the time on the computer. So they both needed a nap until later(like I said) but if they would fall asleep in the car on the return home at 6pm it was a nightmare getting them to bed.

I am a stroller addict(I have two jogging strollers, one normal stroller, one cheap umbrella stroller, and one expensive umbrella stroller). If in the country or on the coast I use the jogging stroller and when in Paris I use the umbrella stroller. I would never take my big jogging stroller in a very crowded place.

**MojosRising** · September 4, 2007, 08:04 AM

Re: Question for moms (a little OT)

a 6 year old is hugely different than a 3 yr old....

sometimes its best to let others make their own decisions

but leaving the strollers in the way is just rude... perhaps thats what started this in the first place?

my dd doesnt have a stroller anymore-she's 4. But I would def consider renting one at an amusement park- its a transition period. I only have one kid... I am sure its very difficult for those who have more.

I think we live in too much fear about losing our kids AND about our children being overweight. Just another symptom of the media infecting our lives

I always take the live and let live approach with parenting

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