Agh! What do I do?

[Seamonkey]

I just came over to my boyfriends parents for dinner and his mom was talking about plans for next week. She said it seems like a bad time to go on the diet because my birthday is on tuesday and Thanksgiving is on thursday. She asked if I could go off the diet for my birthday and just have a small piece of cake but I told her I was trying to stick to it really good. I know its only my 4th day so I'm starting to doubt myself now from her wanting me to eat cake and then from my boyfriend bringing home chocolate wafers last night. Gah. I want to stick to it but it feels like I'll offend her if i dont eat the holiday food.

[cgdat136]

Re: Agh! What do I do?

i have this same problem with my mother-in-laws cooking. actually i think my wife gets more insulted when i refuse it......moreso than my mother-in-law. but i have to stick to my guns...and i have to be able to. if staying on this diet is something very important to you then others will have to respect that. and if these other people are people that truly care for you.....are a part of your life, then they will respect your decisions. i say, stand your ground!!

[boonie stomper]

Re: Agh! What do I do?

Perhaps you could slide some menu suggestions along...
Sugar free jello with candles, for instance, and you could bring some things to add to the table - cut veggies, for example and your homemade dip. If everyone serves their own plate, you can be sure to pick stuff that's OK, and enjoy the social occasion. That's really what these occasions are about anyway. Chances are no one will notice if you talk while they eat the stuff you don't.

[Bluebelt2007]

Re: Agh! What do I do?

At this point in your life eating should be about YOU! If she is offended by you not eating, maybe you should be offended by her not wanting you to be healthier. I know that sounds harsh, but do what you want to do, not someone else. Either way good luck and have a great holiday.

[Chopper9994]

Re: Agh! What do I do?

Sure you might offend somebody by not eating their offerings but who do you need to take care of in the long run?? Yourself right??. If they really care for you they will support your decision not to cheat. Just be firm but polite and hopefully they will get the message.

I guarantee you that in a few weeks or so your family will be looking at you and saying "Wow... she looks great. And she didn't even cheat on her birthday or during the holidays" She must be really serious about that "Atkins thing".

Anyway, hang in there and you'll be fine. Also, I'm sure there is a large percentage of us in almost the same exact boat as you are during the holidays.

Gotta be strong... Drink more water... More turkey please!!

[qbu]

Re: Agh! What do I do?

I just came over to my boyfriends parents for dinner and his mom was talking about plans for next week. She said it seems like a bad time to go on the diet because my birthday is on tuesday and Thanksgiving is on thursday. She asked if I could go off the diet for my birthday and just have a small piece of cake but I told her I was trying to stick to it really good. I know its only my 4th day so I'm starting to doubt myself now from her wanting me to eat cake and then from my boyfriend bringing home chocolate wafers last night. Gah. I want to stick to it but it feels like I'll offend her if i dont eat the holiday food.

There will ALWAYS be a birthday, holiday, picnic, going out with friends, someone at work brings in a cake, doughnuts, etc, happening in your life. You need to decide what's right for YOU, not what is or isn't going to offend other people. You're doing this for yourself, no one else.

[OzLover]

Re: Agh! What do I do?

There is a great section in Chapter 21 of DANDR. It is called...
Ask People to Respect Your Needs.

You will need to do what is right for you. Yeah it is a hard time of the year to start your journey to health. As qbu pointed out there is always a birthday, holiday, celebration to delay us.

I say bring some alternatives that are safe for you to eat. Celebrate your birthday by giving yourself good health!!!

[kelly50]

Re: Agh! What do I do?

Hi, Seamonkey! I agree with the advice you have been given above. There is always something-a holiday, a special anniversary, a carby food gift from a friend-that is a temptation. But, like bluebelt said, what do YOU want? Those who love you and want the best for you will support your decision to live a healthier lifestyle. There are also those who will try to sabotage your efforts, but don't let anyone distract you from your goal.

You can change your life. You are worth the effort, determination, and hard work to accomplish your weight loss goal. Stand strong. You can do it!

[OzLover]

Re: Agh! What do I do?

I'm probably going to pi$$ of my MIL on the 25th when we do Turkey Day with them. Oh well...to bad so sad... I've worked too hard & this journey is too important to my physical/emotional/spiritual health. I'll pass the sweet potato/marshmellow dish & stuffing as they just aren't worth it to me!!

Okay I think I've said all I wanted...sometimes my fingers hit send before my brain is done thinking!!

Glenda

[Seamonkey]

Re: Agh! What do I do?

Thanks everyone! I am planning to stick to it cause I don't wanna have to start over again. Thats a good idea about sugar free jello. I'll have that instead of cake.

[apple]

Re: Agh! What do I do?

Sounds like you got a nice plan with the jello. I just want to add that there will be people who say "go off the diet" and I just want you to chant in your head over and over again that this is a way of eating for life

Cheers!

[Brook]

Re: Agh! What do I do?

Everyone is right. There's always going to be an occasion and always going to be someone who's going to act offended or hurt because you choose to be healthy instead of wallow in garbage with them.

If they're worried about YOUR birthday and what you eat on your birthday, then they'll work to accomodate YOU on YOUR day and make an effort to make it something for YOU, ya know? You should have seen the look on my family's face when I blasted them with that the first birthday that came up while on Atkins. Like it never occurred to them that they should accomodate ME on MY birthday!

Similarly, for the holidays, take matters into your own hands. Don't expect that you're going to be accomodated by someone else putting on a big holiday spread. Bring some stuff yourself and make some extra for others to try. Be sure to let your hostess know you're going to bring your own dessert and whatever you plan on and ask if she'd like you to make a batch. It's only fair!

There's always something. This is your chance to start learning to be proactive in your sitation and make it work for you in *every* situation!

Happy Early Birthday!
~Brook

[D14965]

Re: Agh! What do I do?

INduction friendly Cheesecake is also a great option for a birthday treat !

[Hayden]

Re: Agh! What do I do?

Communication is the key and the solution. Explain to her just like you've explained us. Anyone with a shred of decency or understanding with not be offended, and will want to work to make you comfortable.

[b'sgirl]

Re: Agh! What do I do?

The one thing i have learned about this woe is you have to stick to your guns.Don't give in becuase you don't want to affend someone or becuase there is a party and everyone else is eating crap.There is always gonna be situations where you have to make choices and you'll find that if you make the rite ones you will feel better and better and stronger about this woe.If you really want to succeed on this woe eating you have to learn to say no.My birthday was just recently and i had no dessert what so ever,not even anything low carb becuase i want to get out of the mind set that holidays,birthdays etc. are all about food and there not, its about family and freinds and living a good healty life.Glad you are planning to stick to it.