why does everyone tell u that is too much weight to lose?

[nt2b4gtn]

has anyone ever told friends or family how much they wanna lose and they all say the same thing? " u dont need to lose that much weight u will look sickly!" i'm so sick and tired of this!

[Mirya]

Re: why does everyone tell u that is too much weight to lose?

yes. its common. maybe from worry about ones health, possibly competition, etc. any # of reasons. If they only knew. It seems that people without weigh issues wether they are present physically or mentally don't think anyone that is overweight should be as thin as they are. At least this is how I perceive it. I pick everything apart and analyze. I thikn possibly it may also be a subconscious root of something they are lacking within themselves. Ok enough of my psychology soapbox trip....

Tell them to gain the weight you have and see how they feel.

[nt2b4gtn]

Re: why does everyone tell u that is too much weight to lose?

thats all so true! i was thinkn that others heard the same.

[deb79fl]

Re: why does everyone tell u that is too much weight to lose?

I agree with Miyra and also think that people sometimes give what I call a backwards compliment... Like saying "You're not THAT fat" and if people have seen you heavy for a long time, they have no concept of you at a healthy weight. That and that maybe they doubt that you'll do it. I found it easier when I stopped telling people how much I wanted to lose and just waited for them to acknowledge that I lost weight and have them say OMG... how much have you lost?! Lot's more fun seeing that expression!

I originally set my 1st min goal at 155, then figured if I could get to 135 I would be ecstatic. Well, I'm at 151 now and thinking that 125 would be best for me. So, my goals are changing and I know when I first told my hubby I wanted to get back to 125, he also said that was too much (as for the last 13 years I've been around 190). Now, he is more receptive, since he's seen how much better I feel and that I'm healthier than I have been in a long time.

[deb79fl]

Re: why does everyone tell u that is too much weight to lose?

Forgot to add...to you both

Congrats on your weight loss to date!

[cherribom1]

Re: why does everyone tell u that is too much weight to lose?

Yes, people have said that to me before too. "That's it, no more losing weight, you don't want to get any skinnier than this or you will look sickly". I find it really irritating. I am no where near skinny. Maybe it's jealousy cause they have been unable to lose weight themselves? I've also been called names & heard rumors about me being bulimic, that I must be "smoking crack" and that I have tapeworm. But ignore them, because you have to make your self happy.

also, ditto to what mirya & Deb79 said!

[daquix]

Re: why does everyone tell u that is too much weight to lose?

yes. its common. maybe from worry about ones health, possibly competition, etc. any # of reasons. If they only knew. It seems that people without weigh issues wether they are present physically or mentally don't think anyone that is overweight should be as thin as they are. At least this is how I perceive it. I pick everything apart and analyze. I thikn possibly it may also be a subconscious root of something they are lacking within themselves. Ok enough of my psychology soapbox trip....

Tell them to gain the weight you have and see how they feel.

OR, the person really doesn't have that much weight to lose. I am obese (364 pounds now) and I see some people (including people in my family) say that they need to lose about 50 pounds, when they are about 25 pounds overweight and I almost laugh. Some people really think they have more to lose, than they really do. My sister is about 15 pounds overweight and sometimes she says needs to lose 30-40 pounds (can't remember which she said). If she lost 30-40 pounds, we would probably have to bring her to the hospital and put her on IV's.

Edit: Of course there are still times, like the others have mentioned, where people just don't understand that we really do have more to lose.

[chase_white_rabbits]

Re: why does everyone tell u that is too much weight to lose?

I got that ALL THE TIME in the US. Now that I live in Korea, I never get it. So, from my limited international experience, it seems to be largely a US thing, particularly with women. In Korea, there really isn't such a thing as "too skinny" as far as I've come across, and if you tell someone you're on a diet, the basic sentiment is "good for you."

I must say I enjoy the general attitude towards everyone working towards a better, healthier body here and not pretending that "big is beautiful" (of course, I mean unhealthy "fat" as in "big", not the "good" big like healthy curves).

Keep working towards your goal. I was just talking to my fiance the other day and mentioned that when I was fat, I was given a good amount of compliments by women. Now that I'm a healthy weight, women NEVER compliment me. Has anyone else had this experience?

[spazzyhilo]

Re: why does everyone tell u that is too much weight to lose?

ok so I admit I am one of those people but really only when it comes to my boyfriend. He is 6'3 200 lbs that is all muscle. He feels he needs to lose 20lbs. Both him and his mom are obsessed about their weight and they really don't need to be IMO. but what do I know?

[matawguro]

Re: why does everyone tell u that is too much weight to lose?

if people have seen you heavy for a long time, they have no concept of you at a healthy weight.

I was obese my entire life before I started Atkins. The only time I lost a lot of weight was when I was seriously ill (dengue fever,... TWICE). I guess for family and friends, that is why they associate my weight loss with being sick.

[Boo1667]

Re: why does everyone tell u that is too much weight to lose?

I've also been called names & heard rumors about me being bulimic, that I must be "smoking crack" and that I have tapeworm. But ignore them, because you have to make your self happy.

That's horrible! People can be so close-minded sometimes. It's probably because they can't see past themselves and the limitations that they put on themselves. You look wonderful in your after pic, and more importantly, you look healthy.

I've heard that "don't lose more weight" thing before, but I honestly didn't get offended because I think the person saying it was trying to offer a compliment in an akward way. I think they meant that I look good just as I am, and even though I don't feel the same way, I appreciate them taking notice of all the work I've put in so far. I don't think it was meant in a mean spirited way, so I try to give the benefit of the doubt if I know the intentions are sincere.

[Miss Phode]

Re: why does everyone tell u that is too much weight to lose?

I think 2 factors come into play:

Most people don't know what healthy looks like.

They're used to seing you fat and think that's the way you're supposed to look.

[cherribom1]

Re: why does everyone tell u that is too much weight to lose?

Just like when you see heavy celebritys lose a lot of weight quickly and all of a sudden they look "weird" because we are so used to seeing them a certain way.

Boo thanks for the compliment. I think people were used to seeing me fat even though that was for a brief amount of time. Plus I just told people I was low carbing and I think they just couldn't believe someone can lose weight that way & fast! I always used to be 130 and that is what's normal for me.

[nursegal]

Re: why does everyone tell u that is too much weight to lose?

I agree with what most of you said. My understanding of the situation is that most people who "knock" someone for getting healthy and losing weight is that they themselves feel a sense of insecurity about themselves...whether it be their own health/weight issues or some other facet in their life that is not motivated. It could be that they are not in a healthy relationship,. a dead end job.....etc. Anytime someone shows strength and courage another individual can feel less than the other. It really makes no sense because anyone has the POWER to do for themselves whatever they would like to accomplish. All it takes is focusing on a specific goal and reaching it! Anything can be done!

[bivium6]

Re: why does everyone tell u that is too much weight to lose?

Wow, I didn't know other people where thinking about this. Me too. I've lost almost 35 in the past 90 days and I was talking to a few people about what my goal was and when I told them I want to lose another 55 ish they all got kind of worried, like I was going too far. But they, like me, have never seen me at a healthy weight so they can't have any better idea about it then I do.

And I agree some of them are not healthy themselves so maybe they are letting their own emotions get in the way. My mom just likes to worry I think.