Please read.

[edenedee]

Hi, I am eden. I have been a member of the bulletin board for maybe 3 weeks. Well I ask a lot of different questions about random things. See I have an eating disorder. Aneroxic/bulimic/lax abuser. Basically all the above. I have somewhat been doing the atkins diet, I have just been eating meat and like 1 or more packs of sugar free gum. (yes I know I am not allowed on induction) and then diet dr.pepper. But I have also been taking laxatives and the diet pill Alli. I chew so much gum (like I chew all the flavor out, spit it out, get another piece).. not actually eating/swallowing it...lol.
But my weakness when it comes to food is sweets and breads (like butter rolls, bread sticks, crust..lol) but mainly sweets. So since I have "somewhat" started this new diet I have craved white chocolate (well just chocolate) something awful. I slipped up a few times and binged and purged on chocolate. Oh and once on my moms famous cinnamon biscuits (has powered sugar icing!!)
I don't know why I am posting this, I just need the truth to be told and I thought that HOPEFULLY someone on this forum will be able to help me somehow. I do see a therapist and take prozac. ( although I haven't seen my therapist in a month, she never seems available when I am).
Also I forgot to tell yall. Right now I just have been researching the atkins diet, the south beach, and the GI diet to see which one I really think is best for me. But the reason I am trying a lower carb diet is b/c the carbs is what I binge/purge on.
well thanks

[angelcakes]

Re: Please read.

i felt so awful reading your post, because i really do know what you are going through. i have struggled with an eating disorder in the past - bulimia. first and foremost, you MUST get professiional help in order to get better. you mentioned that you have seen a therapist, but that you haven't seen them in a month. the best thing you can do is make the time to make an appointment with the therapist, if they do not have openings, find another therapist if you must. i was in therapy for two years before i really felt like i was in control of my bulimia.

that said, i know exactly what you mean about carbs being the food you binge/purge on. it is so true! they are the easiest things to binge and purge on. i'm not a doctor, but i do know that when i did atkins i found myself not binging/purging as much because you simply don't want to/can't with the food you are eating.

however, this is not a cure for bulimia. having been there, i would not recommend going on any diet plan until you have gone to a therapist and stopped your eating disorder behavior. when i went through it, i realized that i had to deal with the bulimia FIRST, then when i was in a healthy place physically and mentally, only then could i try to lose weight in a healthy way.

i hope that you will see your therapist and talk to them about what you posted here. i hate to say it, but it doesn't sound like you are eating healthfully right now and may still be struggling with an eating disorder. you didn't mention your weight, so i'm wondering if you are in fact overweight, or, as is the case with many who have anorexia or bulimia, if you just THINK you are.

i have been through it, so if you have any questions, please do not hesitate to ask me. anything at all. you can pm me if you'd like... i am happy to help if i can. i just can't say enough though how important it is that you seek help and try to deal with your eating disorders first. what is more important is that you start eating normal and healthy. i know it took me awhile after i stopped my bulimic behavior before i was in a place where i felt i could try dieting without falling into the same behavior.

good luck. i hope you will take care of yourself!

[sallyseachange]

Re: Please read.

I'll join Angelcakes in urging you to get professional help. Once you're back in good health is time enough to start a weight control plan.

[FatBottomGirl]

Re: Please read.

I don't know what to say - other than I agree with the other two posts. Please speak with your therapist and make sure they know what you are doing. I don't know much about Alli - but I know abusing the laxatives is really bad for your body. I will keep you in my prayers. Let us know what your therapist says.

Take Care!!

[edenedee]

Re: Please read.

hey well I called my therapist today and told her that I HAVE TO start seeing her atleast every other week, the first time she is available is feb 7th. It really pisses me off but whatever. I mean I really like her and when I do see her she helps. So I will just have to wait.

[angelcakes]

Re: Please read.

that is too bad that you couldn't get an appointment sooner - but at least you know that you do have an appointment coming up. if you like this therapist and feel comfortable with them, then hopefully you can keep seeing them. if you can't make regular appointments though, maybe you'll need to find someone else. hopefully that won't be the case.

glad to hear that you are going to continue seeking help though. its a step in the right direction.

good luck

[Inkylady]

Re: Please read.

Aw hun please get the help you need. There are so many here that can relate to what you are going thru but like the above posts say, get professional help before you begin this plan to sort out your EDs. I wish you loads of luck. Let us know how you are doing and above all take care.

[spazzyhilo]

Re: Please read.

I'm so sorry to hear about what you have been going through! I agree continue seeking help with your therapist. Take care of your mental state first! We are all here for you

[Mirya]

Re: Please read.

1) first off let me say I think you need a new therapist. I actualy just sarted seeing mine again after 6 months because she tells too much of her personal business to me. I am currently seeking another.

2) i am very sorry to hear that you have this diorder. I cant even begin to imagine what its like but I do know I have fought off terrrible urges to take laxatives over the last 4 months. I also used ot purge when I ate but stopped t because I ofund out it can damage the enamel of the teeth. Your not alone and if people here can help they will.

3) I really hope you are able to make yourself do this and leave it in there. Make sure you eat the veggies. After so much laxative use people become dependent on them to be able ot have a bowel movement of any kind. I really hope you havent progressed to this point and it can damage the colon. If you must ween yourself off them then so be it but make sure you use flaxseed or psyllium husk for fiber so that you can bulk up. If you happen to start the diet right afte using a laxative it may take some tim ebefore you have abowel movement as it will need ot recollect to be able to flow.