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I've been a worry wort for as long as I could remember! My mother had a heart attack/stroke combo in 2001, while we were in the middle of buying a house. I was in college and on the provost's/dean's list. I had to withdraw, because she could not work anymore. This depressed her, which in turn worried me. She felt bad/guilty about me quitting school to take care of us both, so she packed up and moved back to my hometown in hopes that I would be able to get back into school and continue my education. I made a surprise trip home for New Year's 2002, only to find that her living conditions were unreal! My mother, a single mother, had worked and took great care of me all my life. No matter what the income, she never, NEVER settled for taking the welfare route. I grew up watching her struggle and hustle (meaning constantly work a legit job) to make ends meet. To see how she was living truly hurt my heart. So many phone calls between us, so many times I'd asked her how she was, and out of all those times not once did she honestly tell me what was going on or where/how she was living. It was a building that used to be a Lodge, 1 power line connecting the building to the main power line, turn on more than 1 of anything electrical and the power was knocked completely out! There was a bee hive in back, in the kitchen wall with an opening that was just big enough for the bees to trickle inside every now and then....She had it set up like a loft apartment..it actually looked very nice on the inside, but there was no central air or heat, and there was a huge hole thru the entire roof, where there had been a cave-in during a thunderstorm....That hole was covered on the outside with nothing more than a huge tarp. All I could do was cry in disbelief. I called back here and explained to my boss that I would not be coming back! That was on a Friday, I tested for a job on Monday, got hired on Tuesday, and started work the following Monday. It took me 3 months to get us out of that place, and I promised myself that I would never live like that again. I took care of my mother from Jan of 2002 until October of 2007, when she was finally awarded her disability after 6 years of trying. I'll be 27years old this year--she'll be 51. I spent 4 of those 6 years in a place that I did not want to be in, taking care of my mother and myself on a salary of $1399 a month, but I'd rather be there and know that she was taken care of, than be here and be in the dark about everything. It didn't take long for depression to set in, and before I knew it I had gained more than 70lbs! My mother's health worsened and she ended up having Triple Bypass surgery and 4 stints. While she was having the surgery, my father was here in Dallas in a coma. He was attacked May12th, coming home from work, head bashed in, nothing taken, and left for dead. He was on life support for a while, they kept trying to pressure me into telling them to pull the plug on him, and when I wouldn't they threatened to form an ethics committee and make the decision themselves...That's what they did.. they pulled the plug and he started breathing on his own. He got tired of fighting August 20th and finally went home. So, my mother was in the hospital haveing heart surgery, my father was in a coma-near death, I'm extremely depressed, overweight, and clueless as to how to handle all of this at 23 yrs of age. Prayer, faith, and determination are the things that saved me. My mother, at 51, has had 4 heart attacks (most recent last week), 2 strokes, and Angioplasty, Triple Bypass, a total of 6 stints, fauceted degenerative disc desease, and the list goes on and on! It blew my mind that it would take 6 years for the Social Security Administration to find her situation favorable. I promised her that I'd stay there until she got either an apartment or disability..which ever came first. I stayed, she got her apartment August 2005, I applied for a better paying job, got hired, moved back to Dallas..and as a result my salary increased 3 x's that $1399 I was making before. I was able to live here and still help her by paying her bills and sending her money to help with medications and extras. In October 2007, I was on my way to work, when she called and told me they'd approved her for disability! I cried for almost 2 hours..not sad tears, but tears of joy. Mostly happy for her..she'd worked from the time she was 14 years old up until having a heart attack and stroked combined. All of those of giving of herself, and it took 6 years for somone to actually give a damn!
These days, my worries are not nearly as huge as they were before. The biggest things I have to worry about now are planning my upcoming wedding/christening/honeymoon, getting my mother back here to stay, and taking good care of my baby girl. There was a time when we had to resort to going to a church to help us with food, and now I don't even look at the prices of most things when I go to grocery shop. Blessings are really something else.
Sorry to ramble..had another how I feel moment! LOL I hope things get better for you...I pray that thing get better for you. It's hard to get weight off, but it's really hard when you've got everything else in the world around you going on!
These days, my worries are not nearly as huge as they were before. The biggest things I have to worry about now are planning my upcoming wedding/christening/honeymoon, getting my mother back here to stay, and taking good care of my baby girl. There was a time when we had to resort to going to a church to help us with food, and now I don't even look at the prices of most things when I go to grocery shop. Blessings are really something else.
Sorry to ramble..had another how I feel moment! LOL I hope things get better for you...I pray that thing get better for you. It's hard to get weight off, but it's really hard when you've got everything else in the world around you going on!
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