I failed.

[pstansel]

So... long time no see. Really long time no see in fact, and part of it I admit was shame. It's been well over a year since I checked in. A very, very bad year for me personally. And I admit that I fell entirely back into eating every terrible thing I possibly could have. I finally broke when I checked the scale yesterday and realized I weighed more now than when I first started to lose. I had lost close to 70 pounds on Atkins when I fell off the wagon, and it was all back with a vengeance.

So... I can't change that. I failed. I have to take a breath, empty my pantry, and get back on the horse. This morning I started my journey again. I imagine it's only going to be harder this time, and with everything still going on in my life it's certainly not going to be a picnic. But I need to be back here or I'm going to die. And as my wife said, if I die before her she's going to dig me up and kill me again

-Paul

[Chicklady]

Re: I failed.

Hi Paul! many of us have done what you did. I originally lost 100 pounds and then slowly gained back 140!! No need for shame, just pull yourself up and start again! And if you have more than 100 pounds to lose, come join us in the Century Club!

[Chicklady]

Re: I failed.

BTW, I'm in CT too! We can blame it on the water Where are you?

[Georgiana]

Re: I failed.

Way to go, you have the right attitude!

The board will keep you motivated, and I'm sure you'll start shrinking in no time. Good luck on your journey!

BTW, I like what your wife told you. It's great that she's sooo supportive!

[SunnyDays]

Re: I failed.

I just wanted to tell you that I believe you can do it again!!! And even better then before! Try to focus on the steps you are taking towards the future, instead of focusing on the past. Are you familiar with the Lion King? You know the scene when the monkey hits Simba with the stick and says, "it is in the past"

Moral of the story, all you can do now is move forward! And you are taking the right steps to do it! Let go of past failure, and focus on each days success!!!!!

Welcome back!

[pstansel]

Re: I failed.

Thanks. I'm in Vernon, NE of Hartford.

[Chicklady]

Re: I failed.

I'm about 30 miles east of you, in Killingly so you see....it IS the water

[OzLover]

Re: I failed.

Welcome back Paul!! Post often, start a journal, join a challenge or two & keep your eyes on the wife!!! Don't forget to take your measurements to keep track of inches lost.

[mitzimarie]

Re: I failed.

So... I can't change that. I failed. I have to take a breath, empty my pantry, and get back on the horse. This morning I started my journey again. I imagine it's only going to be harder this time, and with everything still going on in my life it's certainly not going to be a picnic. But I need to be back here or I'm going to die. And as my wife said, if I die before her she's going to dig me up and kill me again

-Paul

LOL! Your wife is funny.

Paul, you have not failed until you quit trying. Atkins is for life, and sometimes there are bumps in the road. Please don't fall prey to the "one golden shot" theory... that Atkins doesn't work as well after the first time. As you can see from my stats, I strayed from plan in the past, too. This time around has been better for me in every way.

I think the difference between the first time, and this time, is that this time I have followed the book to the letter. I don't look upon it as a race to get off the weight... it is just the way I eat now. Doing Atkins takes time and patience... and it is SO worth it!

You can do this, man! Coming back here was the perfect thing to do... we will help you as much as we can. Post often, and keep us updated on what's going on with you. Good luck!

[hrgillespie]

Re: I failed.

Welcome back!!!!!!! Here's a quote for you:

I have not failed 10,000 times but have succesfully found 10,000 ways it will not work!
~ Thomas Edison

[SunnySmile501]

Re: I failed.

I'll say it again--you have not failed until you quit trying. You are not there yet. I lost 60 pounds on Atkins, then had to go off due to doctors orders (bland, low fiber, low residue, low acid, low taste diet for diverticulitis). I gained back that 60 plus some more. I was shocked when I realized how much I weighed, and vowed to get back on Atkins and do it by the book and I have done even better this time. I took off 102 pounds in 10 months. It's still off plus more. I love this WOE now, and wouldn't trade it for anything.

Sunny!

[Adena]

Re: I failed.

Paul, it sounds like the past year or so has proved to you that you have a problem with carbs. For us addicts, there is no such thing as moderation. So, as a friend recently told me, look at the last year as a learning experience -- not a failure -- and make what you found out work for you. I don't know about you, but when I fell off the wagon, I watched myself shovel in food in amazement. My behaviors became much more binge like. I'd eat things I knew were terrible for me, even while thinking... "this really doesn't even taste all that good." Yet I didn't stop.

If this sounds familiar, we have an eating disorder, Paul... welcome back to the place that can help you get it under control, once and for all. Best of luck to you!

[quotidianlight]

Re: I failed.

I am so impressed to hear your strength in your post. This past year hasn't been good for you. But, you've learned a lot about yourself and those lessons will only help you move forward. I haven't been here long but this is my second time around. I didn't even make it through induction the first time; I was so embarrassed to come back and waited months I could have been here getting the support I needed. I totally get what you said about the shame but you have huge support and your wife sounds awesome. I can't wait to see those pounds drop off you and see this become a way of life that you turn to in good times and bad instead of away from. Cheers to you and I'll see you in OWL when you're ready!