Feeling discouraged

[Ashamai]

I so want to do this, but I have so many issues and concerns. #1 is money...eating healthy is NOT cheap..and money is a huge issue in my family. I cannot afford to buy for ME and buy for everyone else. Family is the #2 issue. WW III has been started around grocery lists in this house. My husband is adamantly against any sort of diet or meal plan or even me just planning out meals to plan out our budget! He is firmly against shopping with a list. He thinks you are supposed to just go to the store, buy some meats, frozen foods, canned goods and call it a day. Never mind his OWN health issues which he is just ignoring. This is MAJOR control issue for him, especially considering that with his schedule he only eats 1 meal a day at home and that is dinner! Why the **** he cares what the rest of us are eating the rest of the day is the subject of a whole other thread....My schedule is the next issue. I do not work a typical 9-5 job. I work in the operating room, I work in healthcare. I work 12-18 hour days, get back up and do it the next day. I can't take a break in the middle of a surgery because it has been more than 6 hours since my last meal..I can't take away from the 5 hours of sleep I'm going to have to make sure I have cooked everything I need to eat. And it seems this WOE, at least on induction, isn't flexible enuff for that. Finally cooking..I absolutely LOVE to cook..but that goes back to the whole grocery thing with the husband AND also to time. Folks say just make the time, but when you are working the days I work PLUS I drive 100 miles round trip to work, time is a PRECIOUS commodity. I don't have the storage or freezer space to buy in bulk so cooking for a few days also must include a trip to the store.

I feel pretty sad about this as I see the results and the success of folks who are supported in this and who are able to fully do this WOE. I just don't think I'm going to be able to do it, do a fully clean induction and move on, etc. I cannot take the stress it will cause in my home life and the stress I will place on myself to do it perfectly when I know that I can't.

[jersey]

Re: Feeling discouraged

I thought hard about how to reply to your heartfelt words. Went to your website home page and decided to post this: (the bold sections are mine)




PHENOMENAL WOMAN
by Maya Angelou

Pretty women wonder where my secret lies
I'm not cute or built to suit a model's fashion size
But when I start to tell them
They think I'm telling lies.
I say
It's in the reach of my arms
The span of my hips
The stride of my steps
The curl of my lips.
I'm a woman
Phenomenally
Phenomenal woman
That's me.

I walk into a room
Just as cool as you please
And to a man
The fellows stand or
Fall down on their knees
Then they swarm around me
A hive of honey bees.
I say
It's the fire in my eyes
And the flash of my teeth
The swing of my waist
And the joy in my feet.
I'm a woman
Phenomenally
Phenomenal woman
That's me.

Men themselves have wondered
What they see in me
They try so much
But they can't touch
My inner mystery.
When I try to show them
They say they still can't see.
I say
It's in the arch of my back
The sun of my smile
The ride of my breasts
The grace of my style.
I'm a woman
Phenomenally
Phenomenal woman


That's me.

Now you understand

Just why my head's not bowed
I don't shout or jump about
Or have to talk real loud
When you see me passing
It ought to make you proud.
I say
It's in the click of my heels
The bend of my hair
The palm of my hand
The need for my care.
'Cause I'm a woman
Phenomenally
Phenomenal woman
That's me.

I hear you about WWIII and the whole control issue thing. Time to start taking your control, your power back....no discussion with him, no agreement - if you were diabetic, would your DH insist you eat sugar? If he's unreasonable, don't discuss it, just do it. He questions or *itches about it, think about Dr. Angelou's words

sweetie.

Catherine

[Mothercooter]

Re: Feeling discouraged

If he has a problem with your meal plans, etc, id tell him he can take over all the cooking and shopping and youll do none of it then.

I had some of these same issues (money and no one else wanting to eat healthier) when I first started. It definately is cheaper sometimes to buy the boxed "junk". However, I had to convince myself I was worth it. So I bought bulk, always got meats when they were on sale and froze them, I had to switch from my much loved butter lettuce to cheapo iceburg head though I know it has very little nutritional value compared to romaine and such. Somehow it just worked itself out, I dont spend anymore now than I did.

Planning meals is a MUST!!! If I dont, we end up last minute rummaging through the freezer only to findout whatever we want is frozen solid.

I HATED making seperate meals for me and my family, so I compromise (or they do, hahaaha!) I cook a meat, this we both eat, then I cook one starchy or carb side (such as mac n cheese, pasta, fries, whatever, then one veggie side (usually they wont eat it as they only eat corn and carrots not the good for ya veggies I like) But if your family likes broccoli or cauliflower or others then there are two things both of you can have. Then Ill give them a bread of sorts, cornbread (jiffy mix's are only 50 cents each) or rolls (canned biscuits are super cheap as well.

As far as my kids go, until they are 18 I decide what they eat. I have learned that hungry kids are not picky. If they are being very picky, they arent that hungry. Sounds harsh maybe but when put to the test, my kids gobbled up what I had fixed that they thought they didnt want until I refused to fix anything else because I dont have time to be a short order cook making everyone something different.

Also, on the time subject, It does get old cooking and dirtying up my kitchen for everysingle meal. Atkins isnt based on convenient foods so the only way around this is batch cooking. When I cook a package or bag of chicken breasts, I cook the whole thing, bagging up and freezing individual portions. I boil a dozen or two eggs at one time, then put them in the fridge. These little babys are my breakfast, midday snacks and late night snacks, I love them. I prepeel a good bit of them if not all so I can litteral just grab and go.

Cook a whole pork tenderloin for supper one night, then with leftovers, in freezable containers, make little meals out of them and freeze them with cooked veggies and you can just heat and voila! microwave meal.

Not sure what the deal is with your hubby but sometimes you have to take a stand adn do something for yourself. My hubby would have been happy if I had stayed fat forever. He doesnt seem to want to help me out in anyway, and sometimes I feel he is even trying to sabotage me but thats another post, lol. I just had to for once put myself first realizing no one would die if I did. IN fact, its because I love them and want to be more active in my kids life and be around for them that I do this, but mainly...yes for myself! Because I decided I am worth it.

[Ashamai]

Re: Feeling discouraged

Ladies, thank you both..you know, something just clicked when I reread that poem...to be honest, we are in the midst divorce. He is preparing to move out, and I'm just preparing to move on. I am THANKFUL that my children WILL eat whatever I prepare..and I have a teen who needs to lose weight as well.

I'm trying to remember WHY it is I feel I need his permission to eat a certain way. If you wanna be REAL about it: It is MY income that is providing the groceries, etc. so that means I can buy whatever I want. I think about his wants outta habit and courtesy, but we are separating and moving on. It is time to think about ME and MY GIRLS. Thank you both for reminding me of my own WORTH.

[Katie_1985]

Re: Feeling discouraged

Your scenario has made me want to burst into tears. You are a 'phenomenal women'. You are. I am glad that you are separating (I know that's a weird thing to say) but if he's not supporting you getting healthy....he's not worth keeping around! Sorry to be blunt when I don't know you that well but maybe an objective point of view helps. Girl, you are going to look gorgeous. In fact, I am sure you already are. The decision you are making for yourself is the greatest gift you can give to yourself and to your girls. I am so proud of you!

[jersey]

Re: Feeling discouraged

Ladies, thank you both..you know, something just clicked when I reread that poem...to be honest, we are in the midst divorce. He is preparing to move out, and I'm just preparing to move on. I am THANKFUL that my children WILL eat whatever I prepare..and I have a teen who needs to lose weight as well.

I'm trying to remember WHY it is I feel I need his permission to eat a certain way. If you wanna be REAL about it: It is MY income that is providing the groceries, etc. so that means I can buy whatever I want. I think about his wants outta habit and courtesy, but we are separating and moving on. It is time to think about ME and MY GIRLS. Thank you both for reminding me of my own WORTH.

oh, sweetie....divorce is hard but you're already a WINNER. When I divorced my first husband I lost 250 lbs of ugly fat - HIM!

I am so glad you are taking yourself BACK!

Catherine

[Ashamai]

Re: Feeling discouraged

Your scenario has made me want to burst into tears. You are a 'phenomenal women'. You are. I am glad that you are separating (I know that's a weird thing to say) but if he's not supporting you getting healthy....he's not worth keeping around! Sorry to be blunt when I don't know you that well but maybe an objective point of view helps. Girl, you are going to look gorgeous. In fact, I am sure you already are. The decision you are making for yourself is the greatest gift you can give to yourself and to your girls. I am so proud of you!

Katie I truly appreciate your bluntness and you are so RIGHT! I'm a put it out there kinda person so feel free to tell it like it T-I-IS!!!

[Katie_1985]

Re: Feeling discouraged

Hey hon!

You and will get along great then hon! I don't think there's any way but to shoot it like it is!!!

[BIG TONY]

Re: Feeling discouraged

i guess im wierd, but eating low carb, i spend less money. either way, there is no down side of getting healthy for you and the kids

[FunnyActressInLA]

Re: Feeling discouraged

Katie I truly appreciate your bluntness and you are so RIGHT! I'm a put it out there kinda person so feel free to tell it like it T-I-IS!!!

Ashamai,
Lots of great advice, especially that poem! We are all phenomenal women!!! I don't know what to tell you so I'm gonna do soemthing I do well, give warm hugs!!! I wish for you all the best! You ARE worth it, you ARE a phenomenal woman!!!