why are -other- people afraid to see me thin?

**lowell** · April 30, 2009, 11:15 AM

Re: why are -other- people afraid to see me thin?

You know what? I'm proud of you! Sounds like your mom might be a little jealous. As far as other people, they know you for who you are, and it probably shocks them to see you changing physically. I hadn't seen my ex girlfriend for like ten years and it was difficult to see her as the same person when I realized this 100lb lady walking her kid to school everyday as I dropped off my son, was her! I've fluctuated between 250 and 315 for years, and when my friend visited from Cleveland once and I was 225, and still fat, he considered me skinny! Do what makes you feel good about yourself. People will get used to the new you.

**kibskix** · April 30, 2009, 11:27 AM

Re: why are -other- people afraid to see me thin?

i think the number is what bothers people. maybe jealousy too as far as my mom goes. she's the one who wanted to lose weight because she's getting married next fall and she wants to be back to around 120-125. so since i'd lost weight before on atkins i got her on board with it, but shes just been going downhill the whole time, and no amount of nagging works.

when i'm not here, she eats garbage, then starves herself all day so it 'wont count'. she wont work out longer than 15 minutes maybe once or twice a week. i'm the one thats stuck to it, and it's beyond frustrating to see her giving up just out of laziness and not caring enough, and makes me angry when she does the 'one won't hurt' stuff with me.

on one hand its her life and if she wants to eat crap she's allowed to eat crap. on the other hand she just feels guilty about it and ends up trying to con me into eating it, which affects -my- decisions in a bad way. and when i wont, she makes the 'you'll never be a 10' comments. she's even gone as far as telling me that i'm being obsessive because i haven't cheated yet, and that its unhealthy to be so 'obsessed' about it.

it isnt like i'm aiming to be a 2. pfft.

**keriann_forgoodthistime** · April 30, 2009, 11:29 AM

Re: why are -other- people afraid to see me thin?

you do what YOU feel comfortable doing! if others say you're "too skinny" tell them - "well, maybe this is the way god wants me to be - cuz all i'm doing is eating right now and once my body stops losing weight then I'll be where I should be".

it's total jealousy. that's all there is to it. most people (who are probably thinner than you) don't want to be the bigger person in the group - and once the person who was always considered that bigger person starts losing weight - that scares them because then THEY might become that person...know what i'm saying?

I'm very proud of you (even though we've never met, lol) - but seriously - anyone who can get control of their eating habits and learn the RIGHT way to eat is awesome!!!

they just don't want to be the person left thinking about their own bad habits and want everyone else around them to have the same bad habits as them so that they don't feel guilty about the fact that they can't control it. (instead of taking a cue from you and getting control over their habits).

It's just human nature.

I wish you all the luck in the world and will be here with fireworks when you come to post that you've made your goal!!!!!!

**JulieB** · April 30, 2009, 11:31 AM

Re: why are -other- people afraid to see me thin?

As long as you are healthy, how thin you are is no-one's business but yours! Many mothers have some trouble 'letting go'. I also suspect some jealousy...

I refuse to even discuss my weight around my mother - that topic is just closed - period. If she wants to see me - she can't bring it up.

I think your attitude is great, try not to let other people's behaviour bother you - concentrate on things that YOU can do something about! When it seems no one is being supportive, remember, we're here for you.

**want2b130** · April 30, 2009, 11:40 AM

Re: why are -other- people afraid to see me thin?

I hear you loud and clear! I'm 5'5" and would love to be down to 130, but everybody says that is too thin for me. Well it has been almost 25 years since I have been that thin and I think people are just used to seeing me fat.

This is my second time around at doing Atkins. I felt so good the first time around when I lost 80 pounds, I don't know why I ever quit. Now I've gained that back, plus more so I have a long way to go. But I'm on my 6th day of induction and have lost 7.8 pounds so far and feel great - once I got past the first few days...

I'm going to do it this time and I'm not going to worry about other people thinking 130 is too thin for me. It is actaully right in the middle of the weight range I'm supposed to be in. I can't wait to get there!

I love this board - there is such great support here!

**kibskix** · April 30, 2009, 11:40 AM

Re: why are -other- people afraid to see me thin?

thanks everyone! I live way out in the boonies surrounded by older retired people and most of my friends are 4 hours away(not that that would help, they're all very very unhealthy lol), and since i couldnt afford the gym its really hard to do this some days when no one i'm around has the same attitude toward being healthy that I do. I have 1 friend around here who eats healthy and works out a lot, but he's over an hour away on the other side of austin and i honestly can afford to go down there very often these days(im way up north on the lake).
the only thing that keeps me going some days is my unnaturally competative nature. i remind myself i have to 'win' and it gets me through the day lol

thats what i'm saying want2b130. my healthy range is something like 122-174. my goal weight is only 4 lbs under being a healthy weight! i dont see the cause for fear in that!

**planetclaire** · April 30, 2009, 01:18 PM

Re: why are -other- people afraid to see me thin?

Its jealousy, and fear. People are afraid of change and think that if you are different, your relationship with them will change. Change is a good thing though!

**nerakgg9** · April 30, 2009, 02:31 PM

Re: why are -other- people afraid to see me thin?

oh...my mom is just like that...all through my teens and early adult she was a sabateur...I believe she doesn't want me to be thinner because I am younger and will look better only because I am not as old...
If it is friends ask yourself...are they heavy? They don't want to feel fat or glutonous because you are eating right and they are chowing down.

**kibskix** · April 30, 2009, 03:41 PM

Re: why are -other- people afraid to see me thin?

actually now that i think about it, the friends who are happy with themselves and at a healthy weight, i haven't really talked to about it because i was afraid the thin ones would be the ones to judge. how ironic!

**OzLover** · April 30, 2009, 03:51 PM

Re: why are -other- people afraid to see me thin?

Eff them all is what I say~~mother, friend, high school teacher etc...Your goal is realistic & certainly doable. I'm the same height & have the same goal. We need to do what is right for us!! Tall girls ROCK!

Good luck!

**kibskix** · April 30, 2009, 04:50 PM

Re: why are -other- people afraid to see me thin?

amen oz!

**msanjelpie** · April 30, 2009, 05:04 PM

Re: why are -other- people afraid to see me thin?

When I hear 'you are being too obsessive' I would say... 'It's called commitment!'

Another thing I would do is drop the numbers... The weight, the sizes, the inches, all of them... make them no longer part of the conversation... "I am eating healthy and I'm going to continue to eat healthy because it makes me feel good."

One question I hate is 'how much have you lost?' On the one hand I'm quite proud of my measly 16 lbs... on the other hand, I don't wanna be judged because it isn't more or they think it's too much... whatever the number might be... It's not like they were standing there before I started saying... 'wow you weigh too much!'

Your mother has a weight goal, but you know deep down she isn't going to meet it... so don't beat yourself up when you see her cheat... just shrug and say, well if she wanted it bad enough she would do this thing right... obviously she doesn't...

'I'm an 8, you'll never be a 10!' What a thing to say! Just remember, you'll always be a TEN to us girl!

**kibskix** · April 30, 2009, 06:16 PM

Re: why are -other- people afraid to see me thin?

msanjelpie thats so corny hahaha!
yeah i figured i'd do that too but every time i lose i get all excited and do it anyway. i need to remembr to start keeping it to myself

**kellymch2006** · April 30, 2009, 07:01 PM

Re: why are -other- people afraid to see me thin?

Here, here from another tall girl. I'm 5'10" but there is no way I want to be 160. I'm flat chested enough as it is.

I'm real, real happy at 170-175. At 170, I'm comfortable in most 10s and at 175, I'm comfortable in most 12s.

But back to the original subject, maybe it happens as you get older but I don't really give a whoop what people think about my eating habits/goals/etc. Most people accept low carb anymore anyway.

As far as your personal goal weight, I think a lot of it is a personal preference. I prefer a little meat on my bones. Some people like to be rail thin. It's just what's comfortable for you. You think???

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