feeling bad today *Rant sorry for this*

[love4scotland]

I don't know what happened to me today. I woke up feeling so good and even counciled someone and told them to stick with it (the diet). I went for my stair stepping this morning with a friend and even climbed an extra flight. I am on day 12 (well I guess it's 13 now) with no cheating. I promised myself I will drink 96oz of water a day and climb at least 14 flights of stairs a day. I have not cheated; I have lost weight and it hasn't been to bad yet until this afternoon. I don't really know what happened to cause my mood swing.

I suffer from depression but I didn't know it would cause me to feel like this. I got an email from my dad and even though he was being supportive the words he used came across bad. He has given me lectures for years on how my weight was going to cause me to die young then 10 minutes later he will ask if I'm hungry and hand me a candy bar. Is it any wonder I hide my eating from him? Anyway, I guess I was just looking for an "I'm proud of you." kind of thing but that's not what I feel I got. I feel he said glad to see you are finally taking an interest in your health and doing something about it. Does he not realize how hard this situation is. I have to eat to live so everyday I am confronted with the choice of good or bad. It can be so hard to make the right choice.

When I picked my husband up for work I just broke down and started crying and all this fear I'm always feeling (and hiding) started pouring out of my mouth.

I did make a good choice though, I decided since I wasn't hungry for some eggs and I was feeling bad I would go climb some more stairs. He came with me and I climbed. Today instead of the 14 I promised I did 30 flights of stairs but am still feeling down.

I guess I just need to hear someone who has been here say good job or you are doing well. I just need some recognition for what I am doing.

Thanks for letting me vent.

[Because I love my girls]

Re: feeling bad today *Rant sorry for this*

I know how you are feeling!! When ever I talk to my relatives on the phone I get " How is your weight?" Not " How are you." Like my weight is a separate entity. It makes me feel so depressed. Good for you doing the extra flights of stairs!!! You were able to turn the negative into a positive and that is awesome. I am an emotional eater, so I would have wanted to turn immediately to food for comfort. Please don't let your dad upset you. He probably doesn't realize how much his words are hurting you. You are doing fantastic!! Keep up the good work. We are all here for you.

[love4scotland]

Re: feeling bad today *Rant sorry for this*

Thank you I needed to hear that from someone.

[ziggy]

Re: feeling bad today *Rant sorry for this*

dont worry your doing great day 13 its gonna get easyer from here on out as your body starts to work better and better with the Atkins diet

depression is one of the things the Atkins diet helps cure aswell

and its great that you are exercising a little exercise everyday is great for the metabolism and it with the Atkins diet will make you healthy and fit and depression free in no time

[Sarina D]

Re: feeling bad today *Rant sorry for this*

I am VERY proud of you....and I mean that!

I can appreciate how you're feeling....that has happened to me before as well. As painful as it is, chalk it up to the fact that they're not going to change...but you are And that's exactly what you're doing girl and you need to really pat yourself on the back for not going the other way and giving into such a disappointment and eating something you shouldn't have or not doing those flights of stairs like you chose to do.

People around us can be very negative for a number of reasons. Some choose to be negative to purposely hurt and bring others down...sometimes they don't even realize what they're doing...as the old saying goes, misery loves company...so if they're not feeling to good about themselves they bring others down so they have company. I don't know your dad so I won't even speculate his reasons...however, I do know that you want to get healthy and I do know that if you continue to overcome the disappointments and other things that may make you feel down by making the right choices (like what you did today)....you will continue to feel empowered because the truth of the matter is...YOUR in control, not anyone else and you're making this happen and I am proud of you and I'm sure your husband is as well and I know others on this board would be too. Surround yourself with people who will be encouraging and supportive during your journey in becoming healthy, it makes a huge difference.

I'm so glad that you've come here to talk about your feelings. This is an amazing place to vent and express disappointments and exciting accomplishments.....you're never alone here and there is and will always be people on this board that will be very supportive and understanding.

Keep up the great work, you're doing fabulous....keep making those excellent choices. The right choices stacked one on top of another is what leads us to our end goals....each day we get closer and closer and closer. We feel better about ourselves because we feel better in so many ways.

I look forward to hearing more about how things are going for you.

You're not alone, we're all in this together!!!!

Hugs,
Sarina
------------------------------
Heaviest weight - 403 lbs. (2007)
April 1, 2008 - 387 lbs. (This is when I initially started to lose weight…but was not on Atkins at this point)
Atkins start weight – 347 lbs. (July 19, 2008 – began Atkins)
1st major goal met -----100 lbs. lost as of Oct 2, 2008 - Hit 300 lbs. on this day – From April 1-08 when I initially begin to lose weight.
2nd major goal met - 151 lbs. lost as of Jan 13, 2009 - Hit 249 lbs. on this day.
3rd major goal met - Wed, May 13-09 - Reached losing 200 lbs. in just over a year and a couple of months.
Current weight – 203 lbs.
Goal weight - 150 – 160

[sallyseachange]

Re: feeling bad today *Rant sorry for this*

just wanted to add my to the others'!

[GeminiPrincess]

Re: feeling bad today *Rant sorry for this*

I'm go glad that you posted this rant.......because you helped me yesterday witt my own "hard day".

It is hard to make a choice every day (actually, it's more like every few hours) to eat the best thing for you. I will say that it does get easier.....the choices become routine. But you're always going to have a bad day here and there........a day that makes you want to cry, scream, yell, or hit your head against a wall. And you should feel lucky, because THOSE BAD DAYS DO PASS. So if today is your bad day, you've got a LONG time before you'll have another one: I just know it!

Like others wrote before, YOU can control this. You can't control what anyone else says to you. You CAN control how you react to it. And I'd say doing more stairs was AWWWEEEESOME!. Just think of the day when you get to your goal weight and your dad is singing a different tune. Then you can tell him that you didn't do it for him, you did it for yourself. And maybe in a nice way you could tell him that his words didn't help all the time, and sometimes they were hard to hear.....but you stuck it out and did it.

My own father is not exactly like this......but he isn't great with it either. My dad can't communicate at all. When I got close to 300 pounds he had his GF tell me that I should go to a gym. I'd only known her for a few weeks....it was wicked awkward.
That was several years ago. I lost weight, but it wasn't a mindset. It was actually very dangerous, used tons of a ephedra, and ate one piece of bread a day. I think of my poor heart and am glad that even though I have the weight to lose ALL over again, I'm going at it with the same POSITIVE attitude that YOU and everyone else on this board is. WE ARE ALL DOING THIS. And quite frankly, we're ALL kickin' some serious a$$.

You can do this, you are doing this, and you are EXCELLING at this. Keep it up, and write any time that things are going sucky.

Rita Marie

[lisau39]

Re: feeling bad today *Rant sorry for this*

I think most of us get these kind of days. I do.
You have soooo much to be proud of. You are awesome doing all those flights! WOW! It's tough in the beginning to exercise. So I applaud you- sincerely.
We are all in this together and I am so glad you reached out to us. It makes me feel good to see someone else feeling the way I do at times- I am not alone.
Hugs to you my new friend.

(((lisa)))

[EverLosing]

Re: feeling bad today *Rant sorry for this*

Awww!!! I think we've all hit that very same speed bump. There are a few things to remember.

1) Men suck in general when it comes to communication. They just do. That's how they were made. A few really extraordinary guys overcome it, but for the most part, you need to translate everything they say to find the actual meaning. Sorry, guys...but you know deep down, it's true. The ladies here sure a h*ll know I'm right!

2)Induction is tough. Your body is going through a HUGE transition and so is your mind!! You're going to be harder on yourself right now than you should be.

3)While we're tumbling through induction, we want all kinds of accolades from everyone around us. The truth is, most of us have been observed in the past on many different diets over and over and over. We're like a smoker saying, "I'm gonna quit. I wanna quit. Someday, I'm going to do it." People get tired of hearing it. Most people just want to see results from you but aren't up for taking the journey with you. Quite frankly, that tends to be a guy thing too.

Most people won't get accolades from anyone outside this board during the very first couple of weeks on Atkins. While some Atkineers enjoy a huge amount of water loss during induction, the real fat loss comes just a bit later. Please be a little patient. It's going to come to you, I promise!! In the beginning, no one is convinced THIS is the time for you! It takes awhile for them to figure out THIS is it. It will happen and it's frustrating they're not all lining up to congratulate you right but eventually most people you want to see happy with your results will give their congratulations. Some may surprise you and not be very vocal about your hard work. Others will never say a word, but rest assured, they can see it!! Sometimes your success will be enough to make insecure people feel jealous and if you're lucky, they'll turn out to be the silent ones. I cannot tell you how many fat girls are telling me right now that I should stop, that this has become obsessive, that I have an eating disorder now, that if I get any smaller, I'll look sick. Well, guess what? I weigh 180-something, I'm a size 10, I have a roll of fat on my belly, still pounds of fat in my abdomen, a tiny amount of back fat, muscular but still FATTY thighs. I ain't done yet!!! I'm 20+ pounds away from goal. I just think it's funny only the big girls are telling me to stop already!! What exactly are they afraid of? They weren't afraid when I was carb loading and pulling peanut butter cups out of the vending machine, along with a Coke and a bag of potato chips. No, they weren't afraid then, because that made me just like them. They're afraid, my dear, of you leaving them behind. You're going to encounter people like that, and while it sucks, it's just the way it is. Don't let those people hold you back. You deserve more. Go claim it for yourself, earn it and take it!!

When you need the acknowledgement and "love" come here... That's what we're here for!!

[thefemalegreenday]

Re: feeling bad today *Rant sorry for this*

Happens to me as well. Its like they say they care but.. Its hard to know sometimes..
My friends think Im a freak now and no matter how many times I say to my Dad I don't want anything he goes and buys it any way.
>_< I guess the lesson is, people can be really cruel, but its worth it in the end.

[love4scotland]

Re: feeling bad today *Rant sorry for this*

I am feeling so much better today! I think I was sleep deprived which was adding to the emotional swing. I slept very good and hard last night which is the first time I have slept that good for a very long time. I got up and did some more stairs and feel great today.

Thank you all for your support. This is what I was missing the first time around; in addition our new roommate started Atkins 4 days ago so I have support in my house. I love you all and appreciate it so much.

Still struggling with the water but I'm determined not to drink anything else all day until I drink my water.

So thats it. Thank you again everyone.

[Sarina D]

Re: feeling bad today *Rant sorry for this*

Glad to hear you're having a much better day and were able to get some good nights sleep. A lack of sleep can really affect us negatively when we're dealing with other issues in our lives.

Way to go on the stair exercises today...just look at you go!!!!! Well done, I love your determination and commitment!

I think it's very exciting your new roomate has started this way of eating too....congratulate them for us!!!! I know that will bring a great deal of support to you as well as them.

Thanks so much for the update, I was thinking about you today and wondering how things were going for you.....what a great update!

Looking forward to hearing more on your progress.

Take care,
Sarina
------------------------
Heaviest weight - 403 lbs. (2007)
April 1, 2008 - 387 lbs. (This is when I initially started to lose weight…but was not on Atkins at this point)
Atkins start weight – 347 lbs. (July 19, 2008 – began Atkins)
1st major goal met -----100 lbs. lost as of Oct 2, 2008 - Hit 300 lbs. on this day – From April 1-08 when I initially begin to lose weight.
2nd major goal met - 151 lbs. lost as of Jan 13, 2009 - Hit 249 lbs. on this day.
3rd major goal met - Wed, May 13-09 - Reached losing 200 lbs. in just over a year and a couple of months.
Current weight – 203 lbs.
Goal weight - 150 – 160

[imagood1]

Re: feeling bad today *Rant sorry for this*

I have been on plan since January 5 -- I still have my "I'm worthless" days.

My mother lives with us -- the bane of my existance at times. Her favorite things to get to me are the 3 IF'S - "IF you had a waist where would it be?" "IF you have any willpower you wouldn't have let yourself get this way" and "IF you weren't so lazy".....

I have learned it doesn't matter what anyone else thinks because I'm not doing this for anyone....I'm doing this for me. Every once in awhile I need to know I'm doing ok also! I had my husband take pictures of me the night before I started, and on my 3 month mark - that's all I need to see to keep me going.

[MrsChesterDogg]

Re: feeling bad today *Rant sorry for this*

Great job! Keep up the good work. Just try and hang in there.

[chgomom]

Re: feeling bad today *Rant sorry for this*

Hi there, you are beautiful, you're doing great and you need to always remember the man that went with you stepping thats there with you every day loves you dearly. I am certain you do, but it's that kind of support you need to focus on.

I know it's hard, as I grew up in a family where my mother was the one that would say things like that. ****, once she said to me, well nobody will know you're pregnant you just look fat. It hurt me then, but I laugh now.Why? Because I realize anytime someone says something negative, or that nakes you think they must be sitting there watcing telly and licking wall paper, it's because determination intimidates some people. You getting up, when they are sitting there, frightens them.

I had a neighbor yesterday when I went to the store,,,,say,,,why arent you doing your evening run instead of shopping, thats not going to help you. Well I wasn't because I am going through induction flu and crashed yesterday afternoon and I am likely not going to excercise today. Anyway,,,point is, people can be nutty and inconsiderate.

When they ask you things like that...or say things like that, just come right out and say...how about asking me how I'm feeling,,,,or telling someone that saying things like that really hurts you. Over the years, I have developed a polite mouth on me. I just come right out and say what I think. You have the right to be healthy, you have the right do it without being made to feel bad ,,,,and you are just fantastic!

Good job on your new healty choices.,,take one day at a time and you will be where you want!