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I woke up on August 2nd, 2009 and made myself some bacon and eggs for breakfast with a bit of shredded cheese. I didn't eat anything after that for a long time as I wasn't hungry. It then dawned on me I had inadvertantly started induction on the Atkins diet, so instead of immediately consuming something laden with carbohydrates, I started looking online and came across this website. I joined up straight away, and found out what book I needed and proceeded to purchase it that night before the bookstore closed.
That's how I started on the Atkins route, what lead me up to that point however is a bit more involved.
I grew up thinking I was the fat kid. I had the mentality of the fat kid, I was uncommunicative in social situations, very awkward when it came to making friends, and I always felt everybody had it far better then I did because I was fat. Except it wasn't my peers who labelled me that way, it was my own mother. Looking back at pictures of myself, I came to the realization that I was NOT the fat kid. Sure - I was a bit chubby, but I was also extremely active so a lot of my actual weight was muscle weight. When I came to that realization, I was PISSED. I was so angry and upset with my mother for doing that to me. Why would you want your daughter to grow up feeling like the odd person out? Why would you force it down her throat that she was fat? On top of all that - why after telling her she was fat and needed to lose weight did she not do anything to change our eating habits? I'll tell you why - she needed somebody to be fat with. My sister and brother could never keep weight on them, but for some reason I was blessed with the ability to gain very easily. She saw that, and proceeded to push me to my limits and make me just like her so she wasn't alone in her struggles.
I have to forgive - but I will never forget.
In June 2008, my mother went in for Bariatric Surgery. She told me she was doing this for me, and that she hoped after I saw her success with it that I would consent and do the same thing.
This is where our paths started going in seperate directions. I viewed her doing this as giving up on herself and not trying hard enough to lose weight. I told her I was not at the point in my life where I thought it necessary to resort to major surgery to lose weight. I also thought it would be extremely selfish of me to do with two small children of my own to care for.
I spent an entire year with her asking why I wouldn't get it done. Normally, those kinds of things would get me to relent and just do it, like cutting my daughter's hair, or my own for that matter because all the nagging just irritates me so much. This, however, I wasn't going to budge on. Of course it was a much bigger thing then the normal nitpicky stuff she usually bugs about.
Once I started doing this WOE, she stopped bugging me about the surgery. She's bugging me every week about how much weight I've lost, but finally she's stopped asking why I won't have the surgery done. The last time she brought it up was to tell me about a cousin of mine who is having it done after seeing the results my mom had. I don't know why, but I'm happy for my cousin, I know how she has REALLY struggled being morbidly obese, the issues she has had, so I really feel for her this is a fantastic step for her to get healthy. Why then do I still feel like my mother cheated? Is it because I never saw her actually follow-through with weight loss before? She forced me to join WW in June of 2007, I managed to lose about 20 lbs in 2 months, but she struggled to lose even 5 lbs in that period of time, come to find out she was hardly even following it. I think what irritates me the most about her having the surgery done and losing over 100 lbs is that she hasn't changed her eating habits. She's still eating horribly, but of course won't put the weight back on just yet because she's eating small portions. How long though can you go on eating small portions of peppermint patties, potatoe chips, and crackers until you start to gain some of that weight back? The meals she makes at her place and invites us over for I can barely eat, so I have to come home and supplement with fresh veggies. For some reason she thinks that maple baked brown beans are a vegetable and will put that on a plate with french fries and a piece of skinless boneless chicken and think what a healthy meal that is!
I am not only doing this new lifestyle for myself, I'm doing it for my family. I'm cooking at home and making healthier choices for myself and my children. My son has already benefitted greatly from this. He went on vacation with my parents at 72lbs, came back at 76lbs (I kid you not, I watched my mother take the food they had on their road trip out of the car and it was all chips and crackers and sugary drinks), and once he started eating what we were eating within a week he had lost 6 lbs. I don't deprive him of carb foods, he's a growing boy and I get him to eat like he's on maintenance. Basically whole foods, with the occasional treat. My husband hasn't jumped onto the wagon yet, but he does eat what I cook and doesn't supplement. He's still drinking gallons of soda and coffee each day though. He's lost some weight, but I think it's more from walking while he's outside smoking then to the eating, but it can't hurt.
Anyway - I know the events in my life that have lead me to where I am now, and I started this new chapter of my life 7 weeks ago today. I have forgiven my mother for her ways, however I will never forget - because if I were to forget, I wouldn't have learned anything.
I wish everybody the best on their fantastic healthy lifestyle changes, and hope you can all find the inner strength to move past life's difficulties. We'll always come across hardship in our lives, it's how we choose to deal with it that makes all the difference.
Be strong, and stay focused
That's how I started on the Atkins route, what lead me up to that point however is a bit more involved.
I grew up thinking I was the fat kid. I had the mentality of the fat kid, I was uncommunicative in social situations, very awkward when it came to making friends, and I always felt everybody had it far better then I did because I was fat. Except it wasn't my peers who labelled me that way, it was my own mother. Looking back at pictures of myself, I came to the realization that I was NOT the fat kid. Sure - I was a bit chubby, but I was also extremely active so a lot of my actual weight was muscle weight. When I came to that realization, I was PISSED. I was so angry and upset with my mother for doing that to me. Why would you want your daughter to grow up feeling like the odd person out? Why would you force it down her throat that she was fat? On top of all that - why after telling her she was fat and needed to lose weight did she not do anything to change our eating habits? I'll tell you why - she needed somebody to be fat with. My sister and brother could never keep weight on them, but for some reason I was blessed with the ability to gain very easily. She saw that, and proceeded to push me to my limits and make me just like her so she wasn't alone in her struggles.
I have to forgive - but I will never forget.
In June 2008, my mother went in for Bariatric Surgery. She told me she was doing this for me, and that she hoped after I saw her success with it that I would consent and do the same thing.
This is where our paths started going in seperate directions. I viewed her doing this as giving up on herself and not trying hard enough to lose weight. I told her I was not at the point in my life where I thought it necessary to resort to major surgery to lose weight. I also thought it would be extremely selfish of me to do with two small children of my own to care for.
I spent an entire year with her asking why I wouldn't get it done. Normally, those kinds of things would get me to relent and just do it, like cutting my daughter's hair, or my own for that matter because all the nagging just irritates me so much. This, however, I wasn't going to budge on. Of course it was a much bigger thing then the normal nitpicky stuff she usually bugs about.
Once I started doing this WOE, she stopped bugging me about the surgery. She's bugging me every week about how much weight I've lost, but finally she's stopped asking why I won't have the surgery done. The last time she brought it up was to tell me about a cousin of mine who is having it done after seeing the results my mom had. I don't know why, but I'm happy for my cousin, I know how she has REALLY struggled being morbidly obese, the issues she has had, so I really feel for her this is a fantastic step for her to get healthy. Why then do I still feel like my mother cheated? Is it because I never saw her actually follow-through with weight loss before? She forced me to join WW in June of 2007, I managed to lose about 20 lbs in 2 months, but she struggled to lose even 5 lbs in that period of time, come to find out she was hardly even following it. I think what irritates me the most about her having the surgery done and losing over 100 lbs is that she hasn't changed her eating habits. She's still eating horribly, but of course won't put the weight back on just yet because she's eating small portions. How long though can you go on eating small portions of peppermint patties, potatoe chips, and crackers until you start to gain some of that weight back? The meals she makes at her place and invites us over for I can barely eat, so I have to come home and supplement with fresh veggies. For some reason she thinks that maple baked brown beans are a vegetable and will put that on a plate with french fries and a piece of skinless boneless chicken and think what a healthy meal that is!
I am not only doing this new lifestyle for myself, I'm doing it for my family. I'm cooking at home and making healthier choices for myself and my children. My son has already benefitted greatly from this. He went on vacation with my parents at 72lbs, came back at 76lbs (I kid you not, I watched my mother take the food they had on their road trip out of the car and it was all chips and crackers and sugary drinks), and once he started eating what we were eating within a week he had lost 6 lbs. I don't deprive him of carb foods, he's a growing boy and I get him to eat like he's on maintenance. Basically whole foods, with the occasional treat. My husband hasn't jumped onto the wagon yet, but he does eat what I cook and doesn't supplement. He's still drinking gallons of soda and coffee each day though. He's lost some weight, but I think it's more from walking while he's outside smoking then to the eating, but it can't hurt.
Anyway - I know the events in my life that have lead me to where I am now, and I started this new chapter of my life 7 weeks ago today. I have forgiven my mother for her ways, however I will never forget - because if I were to forget, I wouldn't have learned anything.
I wish everybody the best on their fantastic healthy lifestyle changes, and hope you can all find the inner strength to move past life's difficulties. We'll always come across hardship in our lives, it's how we choose to deal with it that makes all the difference.
Be strong, and stay focused
this path will lead to great health
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