Look at you...Would you love you?

[Summerdressgirl]

Those are the words my husband threw at me a week ago. Usually when he would say means things to me like that I would run and get a big mac or something fast, extra large and a big soda. It is how I tune it out and dealt with it. Our marriage has been in the rocks for a while but because there are children involved I thought I had no choices.

We started arguing and he blurted out at me.. you know why I don't show you any love..look at you, who would love you? would you love you?

My first thought was to go and eat something and keep eating it, but I stood there and I thought about what he said to me all night long..Would I love me? Obviously not if I am eating myself 240lbs 5'3. It is very obvious he does not, so who would love me if I don't love me? I found that besides family..there would be nobody else.

So I decided that I would love myself, I started Atkins and lost 10 lbs so far, every time he says something mean I still want to get some junk, but i cleaned out my fridge of that so now I grab a bottle of water. I am going to start loving myself and while I get thin I will also start my own business, I figure it would take about the same time to lose the weight and start getting profits from the business enough to support me and my children alone without him. Who would love you?? I would love me! and I am going to show it to him and I am going to show myself I love me when my healthy self walks out of that court room divorced, fit and without captain bring down. It is a long journey but I found a map!

[mzlaron]

Re: Look at you...Would you love you?

Wow...Good for you!!! I always tell myself that I am responsible for my own happiness as we all are... sure our loved ones are there and are suppose to contribute but ultimately it's our own responsibility. You're doing the right thing by you. Continue to take your life back by falling in love with yourself. You go girl and Good Luck on your weight loss journey.

"captain bring down"...classic...LOL! (he's extra weight too!)

[barrnone]

Re: Look at you...Would you love you?

I'm so sorry for what you have to live with, and what's hes probably done to you over time. Congrats for taking charge of your life and your health. You do need to love yourself, be proud of yourself and be a good role model for your children.

I wish you well and look forward to your journey.

[mygarden]

Re: Look at you...Would you love you?

Remember Love yourself no matter what size or shape that you are. We age, we lose hair, we gain wrinkles , we gain scars and everything else. Remember take care of yourself in a healthy way and your body will take care of your. It is likely that you were trying to soothe and comfort yourself from your unhappiness in your marriage with food. Find another way to comfort yourself, because the hard times and harsh words may not be over. The only thing that you can control in the coming years and months is what goes into your mouth.
Good luck and my prayers are with you.

[ittybitty]

Re: Look at you...Would you love you?

Summer, I can relate to you fully. After years of mental and physical abuse from my first husband I, like you will, took control. Not only of my life, but of my way of thinking of myself. It won't be easy, but you can do it. You too can say, I like myself... and that is all that is important.. how you feel about yourself. Only you can allow him to control you with his words, and it is a control thing. If I may suggest, it may help you with building up your sense of worth by finding a support group for abused women where you can voice your concerns and be built up. And don't forget, as you take control of your weight (which is truly secondary), we are definitely here for you, to support, encourage and advise. But not only that, I've been here for only one month, and I have never felt so cared for as I do here. Make no mistake about it, the people here do care for you and for both your situation and success. You can come to any one here and you will find people who do care. I know it's only "internet" friendships, but they can be very special. All the best to you my dear. YOU CAN GET THROUGH THIS WITH GREAT SUCCESS!!!!! Let us help you be your support and strength.

[LittleLinda]

Re: Look at you...Would you love you?

Have you heard of Mark Gungor? He offers great advice regarding such issues.

Mark Gungor Radio ? All issues concerning life, love and marriage.

[Jenileigh]

Re: Look at you...Would you love you?

Just wanted to give you a hug, {{{{{Summerdressgirl}}}}}

[ShannonK]

Re: Look at you...Would you love you?

[my31168]

Re: Look at you...Would you love you?

Summer, your post brought tears to my eyes. I wish you nothing but happiness and success in your journey. If you need any support, please don't hesitate to ask. We are here for you.

[Summerdressgirl]

Re: Look at you...Would you love you?

Thanks everybody! It's been 9 years in the making, married fit and I am going to leave it fit. It is hard this new way of life, food sort of soothes everything into an Ok place, yeah stuff sucks but at least I got my food! (sigh) not a good thing. My husband has his own issues to deal with, one of them is not weight problem. Pretty skinny so at least I can't tell him to look at himself. I did told him that I could lose the weight but God don't like ugly lol. I have been thankful it is not physical but the emotional part has taken its toll on me and I fix it with food. For many years I blamed him, in reality I should have seen it coming, Yeah he was at fault but so was I for letting him put me in the "worthless" corner and staying there for years. Not going to happen anymore. I am only 31 and I feel like I am 80. Thanks for your warm welcome and hugs..I need it them.

[chinadoll]

Re: Look at you...Would you love you?

Hi Summerdress. Wow you have struck a chord with a lot of our members! I think you have a great road map for yourself now. I know right now you feel like 80 but once you lose the extra baggage (both him and the weight) you are going to feel like a teen again! I am wishing you all the success in the world. Sounds like you have earned it.

[Jenileigh]

Re: Look at you...Would you love you?

Romans 8:1 There is therefore now no condemnation to those who are in Christ Jesus, who do not walk according to the flesh, but according to the Spirit. (Hope it's okay to share this)

[jake1970]

Re: Look at you...Would you love you?

good luck to you he sounds like a complete a--hole, keep up the good work and maybe stay with him till you are at your goal and at your best then walk out ,and maybe continue to use him as your motivation to get where you want to be take care and remember the saying dont let the ba__tards grind you down be strong

[crash]

Re: Look at you...Would you love you?

Well to answer your question, your children love you. And of course your family loves you. You shouldn't feel compelled to eat junk whenever he says mean stuff about you though, what you should do is USE him to motivate you to succeed. Drop the Big Macs, drop the fries and drop the cola. They will give you a heart attack sooner or later, and what happens then? Your husband will get everything and win, and probably take your kids to find another wench. You gotta keep going and use his words as inspiration. Time to take the head outta the sand!

[ziggy]

Re: Look at you...Would you love you?

Romans 8:1 There is therefore now no condemnation to those who are in Christ Jesus, who do not walk according to the flesh, but according to the Spirit. (Hope it's okay to share this)

of course its ok to share that