Hubands ~ They don't get it!

[CMorrison64]

My lovely hubs and I do give him kudo's for thinking of me but ...

I called home and asked him to defrost the fish

He said he was making spaghetti

I told him I couldn't have that

He said "But I bought your the pasta "Dreamfields""

Now what?

Do I pretend I'm sick and don't want to eat?

How can I clearly explain without the eye rolling or him thinking yeah it's another diet phase .... I'm a repeat Atkinser, Weight Watchers you name it.

HELP!!! I know he's thinking he's being thoughtful and helpful and I don't want to hurt his feelings.

BTW ~ That should be Husbands not hubands ... LOL!!!!

[Georgiana]

Re: Hubands ~ They don't get it!

Why not tell him you can't have the pasta at this point in your diet? You can keep the pasta for later... unless he already cooked dinner, in which case he can enjoy the pasta.

How can I clearly explain without the eye rolling or him thinking yeah it's another diet phase .... I'm a repeat Atkinser, Weight Watchers you name it.

I don't think he expects you to fail. And I'm sure he doesn't want you to fail... or "help" you fail.

I know he's thinking he's being thoughtful and helpful

He knows that you are following Atkins, right? Maybe you can tell him what you are "allowed" to eat during Induction. Or stick the Acceptable Foods List on the fridge.

[CMorrison64]

Re: Hubands ~ They don't get it!

No I don't think he's trying to sabatoge me, but he just thinks I can have it .... I'll just have to tell him and yeah he's already made it, so he can enjoy it. Thanks for the input.

[Brook]

Re: Hubands ~ They don't get it!

I've had to sit down and have conversations like this with my husband. It's hard. Really hard, but I found a way to approach mine that works every time. Maybe it can help you?

- Baby! I made <insert something I can't/won't eat here> for you! I even substituted <insert something else I can't/won't eat here> for you!

Do you know how hard it is for me to wrap around the fact that your giant heart and intentions somehow manage to fit into your body? . Honey, I know you tried hard, and I appreciate the effort. I'm not at a point where I can eat <whatever>, and I'm sorry if that upsets and disappoints you. I really am. I'll tell you what...I'll stop and pick up some spaghetti squash and what I need to make alfredo sauce so I can eat a legal "pasta" dinner with you. Will you please help me cook it?

When he's blasted me with the dieting thing, I make sure to put on my best broken hearted face and tell him,

You know, it really hurts me to hear you say that. You're right. I have started and failed several times, but I keep on trying. I need you to be my biggest cheerleader, and I need you to be the one who catches me when I fall. Please wish the best for me. I know you love me and want that for me, but please? Even if the word, "AGAIN?!!" crosses your mind, please don't say it out loud to me. I'm trying to do the best I can. I really am.

I've learned that my husband is all about rescuing me, and I've found if I come at him in a way that makes him feel like he's my knight in shining armor and I'm a damsel in distress , it stops being about my failures, my quirks, my ups and downs and starts being about how he can "save" me.

Some may call it manipulative. Me? I call it knowing the man who loves me and workin' the system with the best of intentions for both of us.

It might help??

[CMorrison64]

Re: Hubands ~ They don't get it!

I've had to sit down and have conversations like this with my husband. It's hard. Really hard, but I found a way to approach mine that works every time. Maybe it can help you?

- Baby! I made <insert something I can't/won't eat here> for you! I even substituted <insert something else I can't/won't eat here> for you!

Do you know how hard it is for me to wrap around the fact that your giant heart and intentions somehow manage to fit into your body? . Honey, I know you tried hard, and I appreciate the effort. I'm not at a point where I can eat <whatever>, and I'm sorry if that upsets and disappoints you. I really am. I'll tell you what...I'll stop and pick up some spaghetti squash and what I need to make alfredo sauce so I can eat a legal "pasta" dinner with you. Will you please help me cook it?

When he's blasted me with the dieting thing, I make sure to put on my best broken hearted face and tell him,

You know, it really hurts me to hear you say that. You're right. I have started and failed several times, but I keep on trying. I need you to be my biggest cheerleader, and I need you to be the one who catches me when I fall. Please wish the best for me. I know you love me and want that for me, but please? Even if the word, "AGAIN?!!" crosses your mind, please don't say it out loud to me. I'm trying to do the best I can. I really am.

I've learned that my husband is all about rescuing me, and I've found if I come at him in a way that makes him feel like he's my knight in shining armor and I'm a damsel in distress , it stops being about my failures, my quirks, my ups and downs and starts being about how he can "save" me.

Some may call it manipulative. Me? I call it knowing the man who loves me and workin' the system with the best of intentions for both of us.

It might help??

WOW that is great, thank you thank you thank you!!!!

[atkinsgal08]

Re: Hubands ~ They don't get it!

It's also really helpful if you both eat the same thing!

[jcapulet]

Re: Hubands ~ They don't get it!

Everyone has given great advice here. If he still protests about you not eating the spaghetti, you could say "More for you, sweetie!"

[CMorrison64]

Re: Hubands ~ They don't get it!

Here's what I did and it worked:

I walked in .... took out a pan and poured some olive oil in it, took a zucchini and a potato peeler and made zucchini noodles .... sauteed them and then put 1/4-1/2 SCANT amt of sauce on it ... more meat than sauce ... a little parmesan and enjoyed. Not a word was said.

Today .... just in general, my scrubs that were getting way too tight and couldn't breathe, are starting to feel looser.

[Earl Grey]

Re: Hubands ~ They don't get it!

Not all hubbies are created equal! Lol, I have the opposite problem, my problem is my wife being nice and getting things I can't eat! I do most of the cooking in our house so it's not that big of deal to me, and my willpower has increased greatly. Is your husband not interested in the diet? It's a healthy way to eat even when not overweight!

[Shrew2u]

Re: Hubands ~ They don't get it!

Here's what I did and it worked:

I walked in .... took out a pan and poured some olive oil in it, took a zucchini and a potato peeler and made zucchini noodles .... sauteed them and then put 1/4-1/2 SCANT amt of sauce on it ... more meat than sauce ... a little parmesan and enjoyed. Not a word was said.

Today .... just in general, my scrubs that were getting way too tight and couldn't breathe, are starting to feel looser.

Good for you, and congrats on the looser scrubs! Also, we're having eggplant wraps (ricotta/mozzarella mix) for lunch with a bit of pasta sauce, and zucchini pasta would be a perfect accompaniment. Thanks for that unintended reminder.

To head off a future Dreamfields offering (at least, until Rung 9), I'd make sure he has a copy of the Induction Foods and OWL Rungs for reference. I'd also ask for his assistance in keeping you on plan and focused. The times you had dieted before perhaps failed, in part, because you were essentially doing it without support. That will change this time because of your access to the Board...but it would also help a heckuvalot to have not only the support but the investment of effort on hubby's part, true?

Make sure he buys into the fact that *HE* has a vested interest in your success. After all, he's got a Playboy Bunny in a snow suit right now - so he needs to help take off the snow suit!

[Suzanne_H]

Re: Hubands ~ They don't get it!

Here's what I did and it worked:

I walked in .... took out a pan and poured some olive oil in it, took a zucchini and a potato peeler and made zucchini noodles .... sauteed them and then put 1/4-1/2 SCANT amt of sauce on it ... more meat than sauce ... a little parmesan and enjoyed. Not a word was said.

Today .... just in general, my scrubs that were getting way too tight and couldn't breathe, are starting to feel looser.

Atta girl! Yeah that's what I was going to suggest, just go pick up some veggies like a nice spaghetti squash or zucc and enjoy dinner together. It's cool your scrubs are getting loose. Woot!