Tweet
Note: I got this from another source, but wanted to share!
Sugar Alcohols for Dummies, An Online Course
Author: scorpio
President, CYP Club
Registered: Feb 2003
Location: Pennsylvania
Posts: Sugar Alcohols for Dummies, An Online Course
Course Date: Anytime before you eat a sugar alcohol
Length of Course: 10-15 minutes (but the info stays with you for a lifetime)
Course Description: This course is designed for LC newbies in an attempt to warn you of the dangers of sugar alcohols.
Course Objectives: To prevent you from crapping your pants and to prevent public embarrassment.
Let's Begin!
What is a sugar alcohol?
Sugar alcohols are substances either found naturally in fruits, vegetables or shrubs/trees or produced commercially by hydrogenating dextrose or sucrose.
They are more slowly absorbed than sugar so may not have as big an effect on blood sugar initially. Some gastrointestinal side effects are possible and may be dose related such as diarrhea, cramping and gas.
Note the last sentence - "Some gastrointestinal side effects are possible."
Now, let me explain that in layman's terms: The chance that you will actually crap your pants (CYP) is highly likely.
All sugar alcohol containing products are clearly labeled, "Excessive consumption may cause a laxative effect." Doesn't sound too harmful, right? To me, excessive consumption means 2 or 3 bags of this wonderful tasting candy. However, excessive consumption for you could possibly mean 1 piece (or 1 candy bar, or 1 gummi worm).
What are the names for sugar alcohols?
maltitol, mannitol, sorbitol, and xylitol (these are only some of the names)
What should I do if I have a really bad chocolate craving?
You have a few options here:
1 - take a nap
2 - take a walk (this is a better option than #1)
3 - perform any activity that might consume all of your thoughts until the craving passes, and it will, in most cases!
4 - If the craving does not pass and you REALLY need chocolate (and someone's life could be in danger if you don't get it), cancel all of your plans for the next 6 hours and crack open a bag of SF Hersheys, SF Russell Stovers, etc.
Additional Warnings:
1- Be sure to have plenty of TP in the house.
2 - Your back side may be a little tender over the next couple of hours. Be very careful when taking a seated position.
3 - Turn off all of your lights so visitors think you are away and leave.
4 - Warn other family members that when you are running, please get out of your way (this is where the CYP comes in).
5 - Don't, for one second, think the scale will show a smaller number at the end of this chaos. For some unknown reason, even though there is nothing left in your body, it doesn't!
6 - Please be certain not to leave your house, for any reason, after consuming a sugar alcohol. If you are in a store and you begin walking somewhat bent over at a very quick pace, security will have no choice but to assume you have stuffed an item down your pants and they will stop you. This could lead to a more-than embarrassing situation. The same thing goes for driving - a police officer will stop you and ask what the rush is. You won't even have to tell him. He'll find out soon enough.
Course Summary:
I hope this information is a sufficient warning for all those that have not tried SF candies yet and an explanation for those that have and assumed they caught a 6 hour flu.
Thank you for time and cooperation in this personal matter. If you have a story you would like to share with over 1,000 people, feel free to do so here. Remember, we are all here for each other and this is a natural bodily function, no need to be ashamed!!!
Anyone who posts here automatically becomes a member of the CYP club.
No applications will be accepted without a story.
Sugar Alcohols for Dummies, An Online Course
Author: scorpio
President, CYP Club
Registered: Feb 2003
Location: Pennsylvania
Posts: Sugar Alcohols for Dummies, An Online Course
Course Date: Anytime before you eat a sugar alcohol
Length of Course: 10-15 minutes (but the info stays with you for a lifetime)
Course Description: This course is designed for LC newbies in an attempt to warn you of the dangers of sugar alcohols.
Course Objectives: To prevent you from crapping your pants and to prevent public embarrassment.
Let's Begin!
What is a sugar alcohol?
Sugar alcohols are substances either found naturally in fruits, vegetables or shrubs/trees or produced commercially by hydrogenating dextrose or sucrose.
They are more slowly absorbed than sugar so may not have as big an effect on blood sugar initially. Some gastrointestinal side effects are possible and may be dose related such as diarrhea, cramping and gas.
Note the last sentence - "Some gastrointestinal side effects are possible."
Now, let me explain that in layman's terms: The chance that you will actually crap your pants (CYP) is highly likely.
All sugar alcohol containing products are clearly labeled, "Excessive consumption may cause a laxative effect." Doesn't sound too harmful, right? To me, excessive consumption means 2 or 3 bags of this wonderful tasting candy. However, excessive consumption for you could possibly mean 1 piece (or 1 candy bar, or 1 gummi worm).
What are the names for sugar alcohols?
maltitol, mannitol, sorbitol, and xylitol (these are only some of the names)
What should I do if I have a really bad chocolate craving?
You have a few options here:
1 - take a nap
2 - take a walk (this is a better option than #1)
3 - perform any activity that might consume all of your thoughts until the craving passes, and it will, in most cases!
4 - If the craving does not pass and you REALLY need chocolate (and someone's life could be in danger if you don't get it), cancel all of your plans for the next 6 hours and crack open a bag of SF Hersheys, SF Russell Stovers, etc.
Additional Warnings:
1- Be sure to have plenty of TP in the house.
2 - Your back side may be a little tender over the next couple of hours. Be very careful when taking a seated position.
3 - Turn off all of your lights so visitors think you are away and leave.
4 - Warn other family members that when you are running, please get out of your way (this is where the CYP comes in).
5 - Don't, for one second, think the scale will show a smaller number at the end of this chaos. For some unknown reason, even though there is nothing left in your body, it doesn't!
6 - Please be certain not to leave your house, for any reason, after consuming a sugar alcohol. If you are in a store and you begin walking somewhat bent over at a very quick pace, security will have no choice but to assume you have stuffed an item down your pants and they will stop you. This could lead to a more-than embarrassing situation. The same thing goes for driving - a police officer will stop you and ask what the rush is. You won't even have to tell him. He'll find out soon enough.
Course Summary:
I hope this information is a sufficient warning for all those that have not tried SF candies yet and an explanation for those that have and assumed they caught a 6 hour flu.
Thank you for time and cooperation in this personal matter. If you have a story you would like to share with over 1,000 people, feel free to do so here. Remember, we are all here for each other and this is a natural bodily function, no need to be ashamed!!!
Anyone who posts here automatically becomes a member of the CYP club.
No applications will be accepted without a story.
Lizztracking
Comment