So Ashamed....

[sbain23]

At first, I was so ecstatic to be here...to be a newbie in this WOE, but now it's really setting in...the shame of it all. How could this have happened to me? How could I have let myself get so fat? I am so ashamed of myself. I'm humiliated by the way I look, and the whispers and stares. I am also depressed about my ridiculous health at age 24. How do I shake these feelings of shame and guilt? I just want the judgmental stares and hurtful whispers to stop....NOW.

[canucme]

Re: So Ashamed....

you start right now. today, this very second, and you do something about it. you follow the atkins plan to the letter and start exercising. even if it is only for 20 minutes a day. start right now and don't ever look back.

[Browneyedmelly]

Re: So Ashamed....

You forgive yourself and stop feeling ashamed...I know easier said than done.. but I started this wol at 404...with every pound you lose, you will start to feel better inside and outside..soon one pound turns into 5 pounds and so on...as canucme said follow the Atkins wol and exercise...good luck to you.....

[wallace bump]

Re: So Ashamed....

Feel proud for taking control now. Be defiant in the face of perceived judgment, and especially in the face of your own self-judgment. You are strong and intelligent for recognizing a change is needed and you are to be commended for being willing to make that change. Your endeavour is noble and you are brave for undertaking it. There is absolutely nothing negative that you need to be feeling.

I am also a big proponent of being compassionate for yourself. Would you shame someone else who'd gotten overweight? Wouldyou think that would help them change or make them worse? Truly, you deserve more from yourself.

Stick with it. Soon you will feel the sense of self-efficacy you get from accomplishing weight loss goals and you can build on that.

In the meantime, a little compassion!

Congratulations on starting this.

*hug*

[poobears1972]

Re: So Ashamed....

Well you can feel sorry for yourself and continue on your destructive path while feeling shameful for those stares and comments. In other words stay right where you are.

Or you can make today the day you change your future and each time you get a stare or comment think. That's right make fun of me now because I am on my way to being healthy and you won't get to do it much longer.

Use it for motivation. Before you know it they will be staring and commenting but it won't be because you are fat, it will be because you look great.

Your future is your choice. Choose now how you are going to live it.

[canucme]

Re: So Ashamed....

http://www.atkinsdietbulletinboard.com/forums/before-after-pics/70090-before-during-400-lbs-247-lbs-not-done-yet.html

[maxima]

Re: So Ashamed....

Look - it is what it is. Everybody makes bad decisions in their lives and everybody eventually pays the piper for bad decisions. You happen to wear your bad decision for world judgement. Which isn't as bad as you think sweetie - we all are so busy trying to hide our own defects that we simply aren't paying attention to everybody elses like they think we are.

You know what the difference between winners and losers is? The winners does what it takes to overcome defeat. They learn from their mistakes.

The losers don't.

You are in the process of winning - why in the WORLD would you feel ashamed? You should be absolutely joyful!!

If you lose five pounds a month, you know what that means? Next year on this date you will have lost a whopping 60 pounds this year - if you even need to lose anything like that amount of weight.

60 pounds. Think of that. Think of that accomplishment you will have made. Instead of being even heavier, you will have lost 60 pounds.

Now, that is a goal to be busting with pride about!

Pat yourself on the back, it's all good

[forbey]

Re: So Ashamed....

I would expect that you are no different than most people. It is easier to forgive someone else than it is to forgive yourself. The problem is, if you refuse to forgive yourself, look forward and not backwards and take every step with the intension of improving your life from this point on. Then you will make it difficult, if not impossible, to make any gains. A year from now you can be slimmer, healthier and guilt free, or you can be bigger, sicker and sitting in front of the tube shovelling iccream in your face and crying about how ashamed you are 'cuz you're fat!

Either way you go, it is all on you.

It all comes back to the old addage, "Today is the first day of the rest of your life!"

Whether you are talking about taking the first step toward wellbeing or whether we are talking about loosing control and taking a bite of some "forbidden treat".

Yeah, it's bad... Yeah it slows us down... yeah, it's our own fault...

Yeah, Yeah, Yeah.........

Learn from it, reset your priorities, forgive yourself, forget about it and step FORWARD!

Do we need to start a 12-step program?

Hi! I'm forbey and I'm a food addict!

Find yourself a successful Atkineer and PM them from time to time if you feel like faultering. Start a blog and put it all out there. Whatever it takes to get you committed to yourself and a healthier lifestyle and then take one step, plan one meal, take one bite... then another!



forbey

[AJs-mommy]

Re: So Ashamed....

Don't be ashamed of the past. You have decided to take the first step to improving your health. Pe proud of your decisions TODAY!! See my signature at the bottom?... Look at the quote. Always remember that anything worth doing is NOT going to be easy. Each step you take (No matter how small of a step) is a step closer to your destination, your goal. You bust your butt to do what you need to do and use the negative comments as your motivation. Use their negative energy to fuel you in a positive way. Each time you get a craving, don't want to exercise, think of these people and use them to your advantage.

[WetBanana]

Re: So Ashamed....

I was ashamed of myself too. I can't believe I got to my former weight. I can't believe that I was so self-involved that I had two children while I was pretty much morbidly obese. I hate looking at pictures of myself, I still hate having my photo taken, and I'm embarassed by the clothes I used to wear.

I am not ashamed of my progress though.

I too used to think people were whispering things about me, looking at me like I was nothing, etc., etc. I've come to realize that nobody was ever whispering about me, nobody was ever laughing at me, and it was only myself who was making me feel ashamed.

You are the master of your own emotions and only you can control how you feel about yourself. Nobody else can make you feel worthless or ashamed. You always have a choice as to how you feel.

So from this point on, keep putting one foot in front of the other, and make this your year of success and let it lead you to a life full of happiness and joy.

[sbain23]

Re: So Ashamed....

You guys are so awesome. I sat and read all your responses, and I cried. It was such an overwhelming feeling...a release of sorts. I am committed to staying the course because I'm worth it....

[poobears1972]

Re: So Ashamed....

Good for you. We are here to help all along the way. So don't be afraid to ask.

[LadyLumps]

Re: So Ashamed....

I feel the same way SBain23. I am 24 years of age and the heaviest I have ever been, but I'm aware if I don't act on it now, and do something about my weight ... I will get bigger and bigger.

I'm only on day 3 and finding it tough, stay at it, even if you have little slip-ups do better the next day. Never give up!

I'll be checking up on you, for some two-way moral support m'thinks!

[mizski]

Re: So Ashamed....

At first, I was so ecstatic to be here...to be a newbie in this WOE, but now it's really setting in...the shame of it all. How could this have happened to me? How could I have let myself get so fat? I am so ashamed of myself. I'm humiliated by the way I look, and the whispers and stares. I am also depressed about my ridiculous health at age 24. How do I shake these feelings of shame and guilt? I just want the judgmental stares and hurtful whispers to stop....NOW.

Many of us here know all about those whispers and stares. You are young but old enough to know that it doesn't really matter what others think. It's been my experience that those who do the whispering and staring were never people you would want to know anyways. They will always have some dig or gossip.

Kudos to you for starting a new chapter in your life. Work it. Stick to it. And before you know it, you will have a new outlook on life.

In the meantime, here's a little song to help you. It's been a background theme for many many years for me when things were tough.

[maxima]

Re: So Ashamed....

I just realized that there was a link of your before's and afters and OMG!!! What in the WORLD are you in tears of shame about - look at what you have already accomplished - you are already a new person from the person you were when you started this quest - you are incredible! I have no doubt whatsoever that you will reach your goal - you already are a winner - incredible!! You have already done what so many never will - you just shine that light of yours for all the world to see, you hear?