What do you do when you get zero family support?

[bragi]

My wife couldn't hate the fact that I'm on Atkins more. She takes every opportunity to undermine it, criticize it, and argue with me about it.

This hasn't altered my resolve to do Atkins, since I feel it's the right thing for me to do, but she can't bring herself to support me.

What do I do with this?

[AreYouGonnaEatThat]

Re: What do you do when you get zero family support?

Tell her to read the book and decide what she thinks about it after she knows the facts, rather than what she hears from the media and people on the internet who make assumptions without doing any research.

[atkinsgal08]

Re: What do you do when you get zero family support?

Who prepares the food?

[bragi]

Re: What do you do when you get zero family support?

Who prepares the food?

At this point we both prepare our own food. This upsets her; she wants to share meals -- and I do too, so I offered to try and figure out a way to make that happen, but she's not very amenable.

[bragi]

Re: What do you do when you get zero family support?

Tell her to read the book and decide what she thinks about it after she knows the facts, rather than what she hears from the media and people on the internet who make assumptions without doing any research.

I would love for her to read the book. It seems pretty unlikely (she wants _me_ to read anti-Atkins stuff on the web), but it's worth a shot.

[atkinsgal08]

Re: What do you do when you get zero family support?

Well, it's very hard to do this is your significant other is so vehemently opposed ... and if you can't share the same food. Will she simply not eat what you eat? What does she not like about a typical Atkins dinner?

Of course, if she's eating "her way" for some meals and "your way" for some meals, that's going to be really bad for her health.

When my husband wanted to do Atkins, I wasn't in favor of it either ... until I read the book.

Maybe that's what she needs to do. Maybe if she understood.

Of course, her mind may be closed.

[bragi]

Re: What do you do when you get zero family support?

Well, it's very hard to do this is your significant other is so vehemently opposed ... and if you can't share the same food. Will she simply not eat what you eat? What does she not like about a typical Atkins dinner?

Of course, if she's eating "her way" for some meals and "your way" for some meals, that's going to be really bad for her health.

When my husband wanted to do Atkins, I wasn't in favor of it either ... until I read the book.

Maybe that's what she needs to do. Maybe if she understood.

Of course, her mind may be closed.

Yeah I've kind of been hoping that she'll see my weight loss and come around, and give it a shot. I guess we'll see.

I think I'll try to figure out some way to get her to read the book. It will require some finesse. She's pretty bitter about it :\

[liv]

Re: What do you do when you get zero family support?

How about you read her stuff and she read yours.

You guys need to sit down and talk about this when you both have the time and are not irritated about something. I think there may be something else going on. Like underlying causes that may need to come out.
I think there are often conflicts like this that may emerge and it may take some time to work it out. Pay some attention to her needs and try to tell her how much you would appreciate her support and help right now and ask what you can do to make this transition to you doing Atkins easier.

[WetBanana]

Re: What do you do when you get zero family support?

What exactly is she opposed to?

I would think eating more vegetables and cutting out processed foods would be celebrated.

My husband is fully on board with me, and while he doesn't exactly eat "Atkins" like all the time, any food I make for him he eats. He's managed to lose about 20 lbs since the summer by passively doing it.

Of course it helps that he loves vegetables, lol.

Right now his favourite is the Coney Island Chili Dog Pie, lol.

I think you need to sit down with your wife and get to the root of what is causing her disdain for your choice of diet. There could be numerous reasons why she isn't on board. It could be anything from her thinking it's unhealthy to maybe being jealous you have the self control to do this for yourself. Or maybe she's worried that once you get to your desired weight you will realize you have more options and want to branch out from your relationship with her. Sometimes things can be irrational like that but until you sit down with her and talk to her about it, you aren't going to know.

Whatever you do though - don't be accusatory. Just bring the facts to the table, and accept how she feels about things. You definitely don't want a blame game to go on. She could be feeling very self conscious, and you want to validate her feelings without being condescending.

[AJs-mommy]

Re: What do you do when you get zero family support?

How long have you guys been married? Is she usually supportive of your decisions? Is she overweight? In some cases, loved ones are worried their significant other will lose weight, look hot, and decide they can do better. So if she's self conscious, this may be the reason. In most cases, I think loved ones are generally concerned (with all these myths out I have to admit I have questioned the risks more than once). I think you have to sit down with her and tell her you want to discuss this like adults. Tell her you have researched pros and cons of this WOE and have decided it is best for you. Tell her you really need her to be on board with you.

[Farley]

Re: What do you do when you get zero family support?

With my spouse, I told her that I was done talking about it, and that I wasn't going to change my mind. It didn't work until our marriage counsellor told her that since my mind was made up that she should let it go. We don't talk about dieting or loosing weight at all any more. I barely talk about food with her, other than what's for dinner.

Do you prepare the meals? If so, are you preparing alternatives? If you're not preparing the meal, asking her to make you substitutions is part of the problem. Home isn't a restaurant, and our partners DO mind when we are asking them to do extra for something they disagree with. With my spouse, it was the dangers of the diet that she was concerned with...

[Whatsername]

Re: What do you do when you get zero family support?

I agree with the others...regarding why she is so opposed to this.

What I wanted to add is that you can prepare your own foods and still have meals together. The important thing is your time together, not what you are eating. You might want to mention that to her. Also, can you do things together like walking? Make it about you two doing things together, not about Atkins.

Good luck.

[bragi]

Re: What do you do when you get zero family support?

With my spouse, I told her that I was done talking about it, and that I wasn't going to change my mind. It didn't work until our marriage counsellor told her that since my mind was made up that she should let it go. We don't talk about dieting or loosing weight at all any more. I barely talk about food with her, other than what's for dinner.

Do you prepare the meals? If so, are you preparing alternatives? If you're not preparing the meal, asking her to make you substitutions is part of the problem. Home isn't a restaurant, and our partners DO mind when we are asking them to do extra for something they disagree with. With my spouse, it was the dangers of the diet that she was concerned with...

It sounds like that's basically my option here. I really don't want it to get to that point, but I just talked with my wife again a moment ago, and she is so unrepentantly defiant about this diet. It really upsets me.

I would never ask her to make more food just for me; I offer to work out meals with her but she'll have none of it.

[bragi]

Re: What do you do when you get zero family support?

I feel like my wife wants me to sacrifice my health and my desires, in order that it doesn't inconvenience her. Oh, and to alleviate her uninformed opinions about whether this diet is healthy or not.

[Farley]

Re: What do you do when you get zero family support?

Bragi, we're the same age and height, give or take an inch. My starting weight was 225, but who's counting. My wife was very opposed to it, but I told her I would go to see the doctor, get blood work done, see a nutritionist etc. Well the nutritionist rained on my parade, but the blood work was better than it was before I started the WOE.

I only got respite when our counsellor told her to drop it.