2009 I Am Worth It Challenge

[jimmie 48]

Re: 2009 I Am Worth It Challenge

I posted my essay here last night but it's gone.....it's still on my journal so if I need to post it here again let me know....or if it was moved or deleted for some reason let me know that too.

Thanks

carole, i don't see that it was deleted. i do know that over the last couple days, some of the pages were slow loading. maybe it got lost during one of the slow moments????? it's good that you had it elsewhere.

[barrnone]

Re: 2009 I Am Worth It Challenge

I'm in. Thanks for the challenge!

[OzLover]

Re: 2009 I Am Worth It Challenge

Count me in Jo.

[jimmie 48]

Re: 2009 I Am Worth It Challenge

i love seeing some more of our atkins girls joining up! welcome glenda and barrnone!


in no particular order:
imagood1
liv
Georgiana
ADreamComeTrue
Little Linda
Kntrylady
barrnone
OzLover
jimmie 48

[ADreamComeTrue]

Re: 2009 I Am Worth It Challenge

Expectation Essay By ADreamComeTrue/Christie

Let me start by telling you what made me finally wake up and smell the roses...

On October the 15, 2009 is when my Mom had surgery for a complete hysterectomy for uterus cancer and some plastic surgery so that she can heal up properly. She was very high risk for the surgery, she was obese and had a plural infusion on her right lung which has caused that lung to collapse earlier this year and they were scared she wouldn't be able to come off the ventilator. They waited two months after finding out to do the procedure because she was so high risk, they doubted she would even make it through. I remember as they wheeled her bed down to the surgery floor as I cried and was thinking to myself "What if this is the last time I ever see my Mom".

Thank goodness, she went through the surgery very well and I went to go visit her in ICU later that night. She couldn't talk with the ventilator down her throat but she pointed to my stomach and shook her head. Even though she didn't speak, I knew exactly what she was saying, she was telling me I have to lose this weight so I don't have to possibly go through the things she has went through. So right then, and right there I held her hand and said "I know, I have tried Mom, but I promise I will lose weight". I am not losing weight for anyone else by any means but as they say "Mamma's always right" and not to mention she was being honest.

I have tried many other diets or lifestyle changes in the past, yeah, they worked, but I just didn't feel completely "comfortable" with them so I would quit, hit a stall and quit or was always hungry so I binged out, then quit. Then, of course, gain the weight right back plus more. I'll put it this way, my husband and mother in law are so convinced that I am "obsessed" with losing weight, they want me to go talk to a therapist about it. Not to mention how they are always saying how much of a germaphobe I am, but hey, my Mom was a LPN and she taught me well when it came to getting rid of germs and washing my hands a lot (and making sure hubby does the same! ). However, I will be going to see a therapist but not for my weight, but because I need someone to talk to about many other things life throws at me.

So on December the 10, 2009 I started Atkins also known as my way of eating or my way of life. I know this is odd to say for me only starting a week ago but, I am loving it! I am so comfortable with it and am eating the best foods I never thought I could eat and lose weight. It is wonderful, I must say. My expectations are that I will keep the promise to my Mom. I will lose every bit of my weight. When I have completed the phases I will stick to maintenance for the rest of my life. In the future, I will be able to have children by getting my PCOS under control. I will have a better out look on life. I will NOT be so scared of what people think of my physical appearance when I get to my goal. I will be able to be more social and not so shy. I will be healthy on the inside and out, and lower my chance of getting "obesity-causing diseases". I will never again look at sugar as a food that is "safe" or "alright". I will be able to shop for clothes at all of the stores instead of going to those "plus size only" shops. I will be able to undress in front of my husband with out saying "Don't look! I'm a sight!"(Lol, I know it sounds awful). Last, but certainly not least, I will have more energy (I already do!) and will want to do more physical things/events. That is my expectations of my way of eating and one day, my dream will come true.

-Christie

[bizzlekitty]

Re: 2009 I Am Worth It Challenge

This is a wonderful challenge idea and I so need to do it. So I will. I'll post something either here or in my journal chat.

ADreamComeTrue, your essay was very moving, thank you for sharing it and your goals and plans for thiis WOE.

[ADreamComeTrue]

Re: 2009 I Am Worth It Challenge

Thanks bizzlekitty! I wish you the best of luck with your weight loss and all the other goals you may have!~

-Christie

[jimmie 48]

Re: 2009 I Am Worth It Challenge

This is a wonderful challenge idea and I so need to do it. So I will. I'll post something either here or in my journal chat.

ADreamComeTrue, your essay was very moving, thank you for sharing it and your goals and plans for thiis WOE.

GOOD TO SEE YOU, BIZZLE!

in no particular order:
imagood1
liv
Georgiana
ADreamComeTrue
Little Linda
Kntrylady
barrnone
OzLover
bizzlekitty
jimmie 48

it would be great if you would copy/paste your essay in this thread. i'm gonna see if i can get carole to do that too.

[jimmie 48]

Re: 2009 I Am Worth It Challenge

Christie, what a jolt into reality. from one cancer survivor to another, tell your mom i am hoping for a complete recovery for her.

i am so pleased to read the you are satisfied with this woe. even though it's only been a short time, you are staying on plan and are so positive for the expectations and long term goals of your weight loss.

thank you for joining and sharing some of your thoughts.

[jimmie 48]

Re: 2009 I Am Worth It Challenge

i suppose i could write out a novel and some may think this is one but this is my offering for the challenge. sometimes writing and the insights that happen are quite revealing to oneself.

------------

THE 2009 I AM WORTH IT CHALLENGE
will focus on
EXPECTATIONS.

in the beginning................
my expectations were pretty much like anybody's would be when i started out low carbing [not exactly atkins at that time]. i expected to start a plan of eating differently and start exercising. i realized i was fat, i couldn't breath when bending over, my blood pressure was high and i had a pretty poor self image. i had not been a yo-yo dieter and i think maybe that helped me to expect an easier go of things. knowing now what i didn't know then, i needed to quit eating sugar because of the cancer that was growing inside me.
i was expecting the comments that went along with my weight loss, like everyone does. the differences from week to week and month to month could not denied and it was nice to have that added incentive and affirmation.
so far, the expectations that i had, were spot on.

mid way through the journey..................
expectations grew stronger as i lost weight. i didn't want to be fat ever again and i was determined to get to a healthy weight and stay there. i wasn't giving up anything that i shouldn't be eating. i expected to get to goal and be there, happy as a clam, the rest of my life. part way through my journey, i found adbb and expected and recieved much help. some by interaction but most through inspiration of long time members.

and now aka my therapy session..............
oh how things have changed. what was i expecting? to be at goal and confident in the knowledge that i would stay there, that's what. can anybody say change of plans, missy! i never expected the hurdle of cancer and radiation. not using that as an excuse but it seems to be the beginning of the fall.

to be honest, the last couple months have been the hardest since i started low carb/atkins. not what i expected at all. i must figure out what has happened in the last couple months. this will part of a journal entry, i am guessing.
some of this started back over a year ago. after my surgery, i gained about 5 pounds. being non active for weeks and months during the surgery and radiation, so far as the intensity level, didn't help. as i look back over things, i'm not so sure that the intensity level has come back. maybe the activity has just changed. i'm working now and we have our own place, so maybe it's true.... the activity has just changed. at any rate, those 5 pounds have not disappeared. but it might be more in relationship to food choices than activity.

i can remember [back after my surgery], that eating veggies didn't seem appetizing to me. but then, not much else did either. toast was just about all i wanted. and when i went through radiation, alot of veggies caused problems. red meat became an issue, too. veggies are such a mainstay with atkins, it seemed odd not to be eating them. gee, no wonder i turned to grains. with veggies and meat causing problems, what's left? none of this was what i expected back in 2004 or even as late as march 2008.

my eating of late has not been sugary treats but it hasn't been atkins. on some days, it hasn't been low carb at all. too many grains and portions out of kilter. if a newbie came here, posted what i've been eating and touted 'i'm doing atkins and this is my menu' it wouldn't be long before someone, alot of someone's, would be saying 'that is not atkins'. NONE of this is what i expected. none. i was so confident, so self assured that i would never be so far off plan.

what i expected and was anticipating was staying within a few pounds of my original goal of 130. it's a weight i expected to maintain without too much problem. this has not been the case. it's been much harder for me in the later maintenance phase than any other part of atkins. some because of the cancer but mostly because of laziness on my part. i'd like to not use cancer/radiation as my lifelong reason for eating off plan.

i know i am addicted to grains. i like them, there is no way around that. the thought of cutting back to teeny amounts is not making me happy. the thought of not being able to have steel cut oats, homemade wheat bread, holiday cranberry bread and so on is just not appealing to me. but then, having this extra weight attached to me isn't very appealing either. so what's a girl to do? so far, the grains have won the battle.

expectations for 2010.............
to be stronger and wiser about food choices. grains will not be out of the picture but wise choices must be made. i expect never to be 168 pounds again, ever.
i have the expectation that my husband [myjack, adbb member, for those that don't know] to continue to applaud my efforts. i also have the expectation that a few board members will continue to keep track of me[thank you ]. however, these are expectations and i can not let them become a stumbling block if they don't happen. i KNOW i am better than i was, i KNOW i can get to where i need to be.

[liv]

Re: 2009 I Am Worth It Challenge

Wonderful posts so far. It is so encouraging to read your experiences and your expectations. Makes me feel more normal.


Here is mine. Thanks for the Challenge Jo. You ROCK

Expectations
2009 I am worth it Challenge

There are a few expectations to Atkins for sure. When I decided to write this I went back to look at some of my early posts and I thought of my early expectations. They were close to zero I think. I was very pleasantly surprised when I did first start to weigh and I figured out that I had lost pounds - several of them. My first 20 came off rather fast. At that time my expectations changed and I thought I would be at goal fairly soon but that did not work out like that. Weightloss slowed down and adding more carbs did not really help a lot. But I have stuck with it and I really think I have become a low carber - perhaps reluctantly. I know I had no plans of making this a lifestyle. But now - it is pretty much second nature. I also noted from my early posts that I had attitudes. Well those have changed too. I have really embraced this more completely. I have changed things - exercise was something I did not do and did not want to do when I started. I was active but not really an exerciser. Well I am now. And I love it. Running and yoga are two of the best things I have added to my life lately.

Expectations to the programme
I know the programme. It is not going to change. Atkins 2002 is not going to change. But over the two years I have followed the WOE has changed in a way. After starting rather fumbly not knowing what low carb programme to follow, I did start with Atkins because it was so crystal clear. Eat this; not that. The clarity has gone as I have moved up OWl and into maintenance. There are no rules anymore - except: don't put on weight. So this may be hard. I expect it to be hard. I expect to have to work it. I expect that I may have downs and will have to try to make things right and clean things up. I am not planning for it but I don't think I am ever going to be perfect when it comes to food choices.


Expectations to me- my mindset
I am strong. When I went back and looked at my first post here and my first complaint about Atkins not working (week 2 ) I found answers from people I know did not make it. But I did. Because I like to accomplish things. Will it always be this way? I don't know. I will have to get into my head that maintaining is every bit as worth working for as losing. I think I can do that. I am not perfect. But I think I can live with that bit of self-realization and I think that on Atkins you do not have to be perfect. There is some give in the programme. I expect that I will need that bit of give in the future as well. But I know I can do this. I expect it of me.

Expectations to me - my body
Now this part I have no control over. I know I am heading for the second big transition in a woman's life and I know it is changing how my body will deal with food and carbs. Am I ready to hang on for the ride. I guess I have no choice in the matter I think it helps to know and to be prepared.
I am so much thinner than I have been for years. And yet there are days when I am not happy with it. I have fat deposits where I do not want them. I want them gone. I want to wear one of those cute bra tops for yoga. But my sloshy skin and fat will not make this a pretty sight. It is not going to change. It is me. Can I learn to embrace this me?
I am also afraid, I think, that I will not be able to eat as liberally as I do now. I eat so well and I love my food choices. I really do not miss the other stuff. But what if I have to change it to be more restricted because of this change? I don't know if I could do that. I will certainly try. I take comfort in the fact that my preferences have changed so much the last two years that I have no trouble not eating bread or what ever. Perhaps if need be I will be happy eating to the changed me. I expect I will have to find out.

Expectations to my surroundings
Surroundings are so much part of our eating habits. Like Jo's question says things happen - accidents, tragedies, life altering moments, someone running into my favourite car. They will be there. Will I stay with my WOE through them? Will I turn to carbs all of a sudden. I seriously do not know. I draw a lot of inspiration from the people on this board who has been doing this for a long time. They can do it, so it is possible. Other people have rebounded so nicely and are very inspirational. I know that when things are level -- like they are now-- I have no trouble being an Atkineer.

[ADreamComeTrue]

Re: 2009 I Am Worth It Challenge

Wow jimmie 48 & liv! Those essays were so inspiring!
I am really sorry to hear that you had cancer jimmie 48, how is that doing now? I know you can meet all of your goals!! I wish you the best of luck with all of your goals!!

And liv, that is an amazing way to put the essay..because there is expectations in every side (mindset, body, etc.). I am so glad you stuck with it and accomplished even after you slowed down the weight loss! You look amazing too!

-Christie

[jimmie 48]

Re: 2009 I Am Worth It Challenge

thanks christie. i am cancer free for about 1 1/2 years now.

liv, i also like how you planned out your essay. that's why i like these kinds of challenges, everybody has a different way of putting things. all are right, all are good, all are inspiring, no matter where we started as individuals.

[jimmie 48]

Re: 2009 I Am Worth It Challenge

it's tuesday afternoon where i am. remember, essays are due in by the end of the 23rd. there is still time for anyone new to join the challenge.

[barrnone]

Re: 2009 I Am Worth It Challenge

My Expectations with Atkins

On 2/1/2009 I made the decision to try Atkins and have been following the plan since that day. I certainly don’t follow it 100%, but am pretty proud of myself in the effort I have made so far. It was and is one of the best decisions I have ever made.

I knew I was fat, yet I kept eating crap and never exercised. I’m not sure of my mindset, but I just ‘looked the other way’. I kept edging towards that 250lb mark, and it was starting to really hit me. My clothes didn’t fit and I refused to buy a larger size. I was depressed and my relationship with my husband was crashing fast. I had lost myself; the person I used to like, the person my husband used to like – was gone. I was not happy.

On that day, the initial thought was losing weight; probably more of a 'quick fix'. My sister had been following the plan for a while and had initially dropped quite a few pounds. I had been learning/hearing about Atkins from her and really enjoyed the choices she made. But, as I said, it was only about the loss.

Now, today, I have a whole new perspective. I never realized that it would change my life in so many other ways. Within a very short period of time I was amazed at how good I felt. Not just my body, but my mind, my self image – all of what makes ‘me’ be ‘me’. I felt happy. I hadn’t felt that way in a long time. I found myself again and I like her!

My husband and I are happy, and it shows. He’s following Atkins also and we’re enjoying life. We are enjoying each others company and each other again. Atkins was truly a lifesaver for me and is now my life.

Dawn