Heavenly Joke

[MotherOfGizmo]

On their way to get married, a young couple are involved in a fatal
car accident.

The couple find themselves sitting outside the Pearly Gates
waiting for St. Peter to process them into Heaven. While waiting,
they begin to wonder:

Could they possibly get married in Heaven?

When St. Peter shows up, they asked him. St. Peter says, "I don't know. This
is the first time anyone has asked. Let me go find out," and he leaves.

The couple sat and waited for an answer... for a couple of months.
While they waited, they discussed that IF they were allowed to get
married in Heaven, SHOULD they get married, what with the eternal
aspect of it all.

"What if it doesn't work?" they wondered, "Are we stuck together
FOREVER?"

After yet another month, St. Peter finally returns, looking
somewhat bedraggled. "Yes," he informs the couple, "You can get married in
Heaven."

"Great!" said the couple, "But we were just wondering, what if
things don't work out? Could we also get a divorce in Heaven?"

St. Peter, red-faced with anger, slams his clipboard onto the
ground.

"What's wrong?" asked the frightened couple.

"OH, COME ON!!" St. Peter shouts, "It took me three months to find
a priest up here! Do you have ANY idea how long it'll take me to find a
lawyer?

[Miss Phode]

Re: Heavenly Joke

That is awsome.

[FightingTheFight]

Re: Heavenly Joke

Lmbo

[Bugaboo]

Re: Heavenly Joke

Being a Catholic I get sent jokes like this all the time...here's one that I really like:



Muldoon lived alone in the Irish countryside with only a pet dog for
company. One day the dog died, and Muldoon went to the parish priest and
asked, "Father, me dog is dead. Could ya' be saying' a mass for the poor
creature?"

Father Patrick replied, "I'm afraid not; we cannot have services for an
animal in the church. But there are some Baptists down the lane, and
there's no tellin' what they believe. Maybe they'll do something for the
creature."

Muldoon said, "I'll go right away Father. Do ya' think $5,000 is enough to
donate to them for the service?"

Father Patrick exclaimed, "Sweet Mary, Mother of Jesus! Why didn`t ya tell
me the dog was Catholic?

Here's one probably based on truth!!!! Lol.......

Father O'Malley answers the phone

"Hello, is this Father O'Malley?"

"It is! ! "

"This is the IRS. Can you help us?"

"I can"

"Do you know a Ted Houlihan?"

"I do"

"Is he a member of your congregation?"

"He is"

"Did he donate $10,000 to the church?"

"He will".

[lots2lose]

Re: Heavenly Joke

On their way to get married, a young couple are involved in a fatal
car accident.

The couple find themselves sitting outside the Pearly Gates
waiting for St. Peter to process them into Heaven. While waiting,
they begin to wonder:

Could they possibly get married in Heaven?

When St. Peter shows up, they asked him. St. Peter says, "I don't know. This
is the first time anyone has asked. Let me go find out," and he leaves.

The couple sat and waited for an answer... for a couple of months.
While they waited, they discussed that IF they were allowed to get
married in Heaven, SHOULD they get married, what with the eternal
aspect of it all.

"What if it doesn't work?" they wondered, "Are we stuck together
FOREVER?"

After yet another month, St. Peter finally returns, looking
somewhat bedraggled. "Yes," he informs the couple, "You can get married in
Heaven."

"Great!" said the couple, "But we were just wondering, what if
things don't work out? Could we also get a divorce in Heaven?"

St. Peter, red-faced with anger, slams his clipboard onto the
ground.

"What's wrong?" asked the frightened couple.

"OH, COME ON!!" St. Peter shouts, "It took me three months to find
a priest up here! Do you have ANY idea how long it'll take me to find a
lawyer?

Hehe it took me a second to get that.I'm slow.lol.Thank you

[MotherOfGizmo]

Re: Heavenly Joke

I'm Catholic too Bugaboo, here's another one, my mom keeps sending me jokes LOL

The Golf Leprechaun

n American golfer playing in Ireland hooked his drive into the woods. Looking for his ball, he found a little Leprechaun flat on his back, a big bump on his head and the golfer's ball beside him. Horrified, the golfer got his water bottle from the cart and poured it over the little guy, reviving him.
“Arrgh! What happened?" the Leprechaun asked.

"I'm afraid I hit you with my golf ball," the golfer says.

"Oh, I see. Well, ye got me fair and square. Ye get three wishes, so whaddya want?"

"Thank God, you're all right!" the golfer answers in relief. "I don't want anything. I'm just glad you're OK, and I apologize." And the golfer walks off.

"What a nice guy," the Leprechaun says to himself. I have to do something for him. I'll give him the three things I would want....a great golf game, all the money he ever needs, and a fantastic sex life." A year goes by (as it does in stories like this) and the American golfer is back. On the same hole, he again hits a bad drive into the woods and the Leprechaun is there waiting for him. "Twas me that made ye hit the ball here," the little guy says. "I just want to ask ye, how's yer golf game?"

"My game is fantastic!" the golfer answers. I'm an internationally famous golfer now." He adds, "By the way, it's good to see you're all right."

"Oh, I'm fine now, thankye. I did that fer yer golf game, you know. And tell me, how's yer money situation?"

"Why, it's just wonderful!" the golfer states.

“When I need cash, I just reach in my pocket and pull out $100.00 bills I didn't even know were there!"

"I did that fer ye also. And tell me, how's yer sex life?"

The golfer blushes, turns his head away in embarrassment, and says shyly, "It's OK."

"C'mon, c'mon now," urged the Leprechaun, "I'm wanting to know if I did a good job. How many times a week?"

Blushing even more, the golfer looks around then whispers, "Once, sometimes twice a week."

"What??" responds the Leprechaun in shock. "That's all? Only once or twice a week?"

"Well," says the golfer, "I figure that's not bad for a Catholic priest in a small parish.

[Lady_Hawke]

Re: Heavenly Joke

OMG! These jokes are sooooooooooooo funny!!!!!

[MotherOfGizmo]

Re: Heavenly Joke

Hi Tamariah! Nice to see you!