Reasons to be married...

[BikerGoddess]

Re: Reasons to be married...

Hey, we're all allowed to have different opinons, but we're not allowed to be disrespectful.

Let's accept that different people want different things from life, and just because someone doesn't want what you want doesn't make them wrong. Or you, for that matter. Life would be boring if we all thought the same way.

Laura

[BikerGoddess]

Re: Reasons to be married...

About 2 months later on a trip to Vegas he suprised me and proposed. We are gettin married in October. Good luck to you.

Congratulations!!

[FightingTheFight]

Re: Reasons to be married...

when they just sit around they think about being with someone, or they become....well....a not well respected woman.

Sounds like a personal problem...

I am just curious whats you beef with me...considering I've never even seen any of your posts before, or have any other communication beyond this thread.

I have an attitude? everyone has an attitude.

at·ti·tude
n.

1. A position of the body or manner of carrying oneself: stood in a graceful attitude. .
   1. A state of mind or a feeling; disposition: had a positive attitude about work.
   2. An arrogant or hostile state of mind or disposition.

either way, I still stand by my words.

Not everyone has to have someone, some people are happy alone, others need other people. I personally couldn't fathom the thought of my day relying on how someone elses went, or someone always needing to know where I am at, what am I doing, who am I with, ect ect. But thats just me...Wait till I tell you how I just can't fathom why everyone wants to have kids...

It sucks they don't allow vasectomies(Sp?) untill you are 25..or I would sign up tommorow.

[goin2Bgood]

Re: Reasons to be married...

::::: can't you guys take this to PM?

[FightingTheFight]

Re: Reasons to be married...

No, because it should end right here, theres no reason to pursue bitterness..

[sheropesem]

Re: Reasons to be married...

Wow!!

I agree that some people NEED other people to a fault. I also agree that there are some people out there who would be SOOOOO much happier if they would get to know themselves BEFORE trying to tie themselves to someone else. But, as a very happily married mom...I still think marriage is wonderful. And sacred. Im not saying I didnt enjoy my single years...even, at the time, as a single mother of my girl. I did. But...when you meet the right person...they...how do I say this....complete you. Or at least in my case. Brian, my husband, is my closest friend. I still have girlfriends. Went to LA last weekend with the girls. Had a ball. But when I got home to kids and hubby....it was sooooo nice to be home. Everyone has different feelings. To some, marriage means TONS. And to some not. I am married to the most handsome, wonderful human Ive ever known....and wouldnt trade it for the world. But...before I met him, I would have choked on those words. lol. Go and do what your HEART tells you to do...and it will end up right. It may just be a little painful during your journey.
Best-
Robyn

[Piasabird]

Re: Reasons to be married...

First of all, you shouldn't be taking advice from people on the internet.

Secondly, it's been my experience that marriage is highly over rated. But that's just my opinion.

Your brain is what you should use to think with. Use it! Your heart will lead you down the wrong path.

[cleochatra]

Re: Reasons to be married...

First of all, you shouldn't be taking advice from people on the internet.

LOOOOOOOL

[lbrowne]

Re: Reasons to be married...

It's not about proving anything to anyone else in the world, but about taking care of each other in ways that SO/SO can't, and making the kind of commitment that has to be legally undone.

There's a much bigger picture.

Amen!

Marriage isn't about the wedding or about showing other people your commitment to each other. It's about making a solid commitment to each other to always be there for each other, even (and especially) through the hard times. There will be hard times. That's a guarantee.

The only reason I would give. Because I need to give and receive that commitment in order to plan a life with someone. My husband and I have been married for more than 18 years so far and if we live to be 90 (very doable ) then we still have at least 52 years left together! IMO, that kind of lasting relationship NEEDS a marriage commitment to make it that far. ROFL because I figure there's some people that would probably turn tail at the thought of being with the same person that long, but with us, that's the good part. Most of the time it actually has been easy for us, but not *always*. If we weren't married it wouldn't have lasted this long.

If we got weighed down by listing other 'benefits' like tax breaks, that would be a sad reason to stay married. And to be truthful, sometimes there are no benefits except that if you stick it out it can become wonderful again in more ways than you'd ever imagine.

Check out Divorce Busting by Michele Weiner Davis. It's not just for marriages, but how to deal with your significant other.

It could be that your boyfriend has changed his viewpoint of marriage -- or his view of marriage to you (he might not even realize that). Be open to talking about this, but remember to really listen to him instead of trying to win him over to what you want.

ps - found another book by the same auther that might be of more interest. And a list of highly rated relationship books.

~ Linda

[speedygt03]

Re: Reasons to be married...

What I dont get is how ya keep saying 'you dont want someone who has to know where you, what you are doing and who you are with'. IN MY OPINION it sounds like you've had bad relationships in the past which cause you to think this way. Being with someone doesnt require you to check in. If so, that person is obviously too controlling.

My 'beef' with you? When I posted:

Clearly thats just your own personal opinion but not many people want to be alone for their entire life......thats insane. You might as well go live in a whole and steer clear from the entire world.

Im guessing that you didnt catch the "CLEARY THATS YOUR OWN OPNION BUT....." then you came back at me with an attitude and treated me like I was dumb! Like you said, you dont even know me, never talked to me before, why would you treat someone like that? Maybe thats just the type of person you are, but im the kind who doesnt sit back and let that disrespect happen to me.

I KNOW everyone has their own opinions, I never said yours was wrong! I simply made a statement (was supposed to be..haha funny) and you took it like I didnt realize it WAS your opinion.

And when I said "they become....well....a not well respected woman" i meant a wh*re. Does that help? Its not a personal problem of mine, thanks for caring.

In my life and with my relationships w\ friends and family, the people that I know are either with someone and happy and without someone and lonely. I personally have NEVER met someone who says "i want to be alone for my entire life". HENCE WHERE THE COMMENT "might as well live in a whole and steer clear from the world" came from. (Incase you didnt catch that MOG) Im not saying that there arent people out there like this, but just in my life it hasnt happened. I know people who have been together 20 years and still say they are never getting married. I dont disagree with that, or agree.

So all in all, I never judged your opinion, but I judge you as a person by the way you replied and disrespected.

[cleochatra]

Re: Reasons to be married...

Can't we all just get along?

To no one in particular... but please read... The gnarly vibes flowing from this thread are intense.

I don't want to lock this thread, but I will if people can't respect one another's opinions. This thread was started by someone who asked for support, and we've broken out into a hockey game about values.

That, in itself, isn't a bad thing.

However, when we internalize the issue and start snapping one another's bra and jock straps over the issue is another problem altogether.

Let's just agree to disagree on this subject and not get so upset. As Laura said, if we all agreed about everything, we might as well go and stare at Ted Koppel's hairpiece.

Well, Laura didn't say the bit about the hairpiece, but you understand the sentiment.

{{{everyone}}}

[Piasabird]

Re: Reasons to be married...

{{{Cleo}}} honey, you do have such a way with words! It's really good to see you back at it, girlfriend!

Here ..... let me give you a big hug ...... !

[MotherOfGizmo]

Re: Reasons to be married...

Speedy, you are only 20 years old. In another 25 years you will probably start to understand how someone can be perfectly happy without having to be in a committed relationship. Only time will tell.

There are many people that believe that humans should be more like the most in the animal kingdom..only getting together during mating season! After all, we are technically animals too you know. There have been many studies done that show that monogamy is not a natural behavior for humans, amazing huh? But that also helps explain why about 50% of marriages end in divorce, its not natural.

[Brook]

Re: Reasons to be married...

...its not natural.

It's not natural for everyone, but that doesn't make it unnatural for everyone either. It strikes me as being very natural for about 50% of the people who do it.

LOL. My cup is half full. LOL

[MotherOfGizmo]

Re: Reasons to be married...

Sorry, didn't mean to insinuate that it wasn't natural for everyone. But even in the animal world, there are certain species that mate for life, but, most don't, apparently humans are susposed to fall in to the category that does not. Obviously, there are exceptions, but is it natural or is it a behavior that is learned/taught? Based on so called "civilized society's" expectations? I wonder.