Pregnant HS kids

[sidrah]

Hi all,
So, any teachers/parents out there who are just in shock (or awe to use this week's vocab word!) to see the amount of pregnant girls in school or their classes?

I now have 14 pregnant girls in my classes. I teach special ed. (not severe, just extra help in reading/math) at the HS/ Of the 14, 10 are under 16. Heck, most of those 10 are 14!!

I am writing my dissertation on teen pregnancy and how it impacts their school/friends/home life and my advisor has the nerve to tell me to change the topic since no one cares ("What is the BIG picture, though??) about some "knocked up special ed kids". Can you imagine this lady is getting some good dough from the college to advise me!

Is it just me or is this problem more apparent in my school than others? I figure the best I could do now is have a support program for them to interact with each other and talk to peers about all the stages from being pregnant to being a 14 year old mom. What's done is done, ya know? I do not advocate it, of course, but I would prefer to help as much as I can since they come to me anyway instead of turn them away and shame like many teachers do.

Sorry to unload, but was wondering what people thought of the dissertation idea and the overall teenage pregnancy on the rise issue? Thanks so much for reading

[Brook]

Re: Pregnant HS kids

I'm at a loss where your advisor's response to you is concerned. It just blows me away.

The numbers you site scare the he|| out of me. Seriously. My son is almost 14 years old and uggggggggh. The thought just makes me ill. It reminds me that that boy & I should have another heart to heart about things. We have them often, but I'm not sure there's such a thing as too often where this is concerned.

I am one of those statistics. I was 17 when I got pregnant with my son, and 18 when I delivered him. The challenges that met us were always "make us or break us" ordeals, and without the kind of family support I had, I know we wouldn't have made it. - Now that doesn't mean my mom supported us financially - she was/is a huge advocate of tough love and because of it we not only survived, we thrived.

I can't imagine going through all of that at 14 years old. I can't imagine that we'd have made it, let alone survived it all and been as successful as we have been. I hope with all of my heart that these girls have a real support system in place, but I know that's probably not the reality

You're right. What is done is done, and I think a support program for them is an amazing idea. Honestly. It would have been wonderful when I was in their shoes and perhaps it would have prepared me for some of the things that were waiting for us.

I'm not sure what the answer is for teen pregnancy. I knew full well how to prevent pregnancy and all of the other issues- and it didn't make a darn bit of difference. Why? Because I knew it all, had the world by the tail on a down-hill pole, and knew it wouldn't/couldn't happen to me and if it did, <shrug> Big deal. I'd just have a baby doll to play with because it couldn't possibly be as big a deal as everyone made it out to be.

I wish you luck in supporting/dealing with the girls you've got your hands full with.

And from one of those girls from back in the day- thank you for caring about them. Odds are there aren't many people in their lives that do.


~Brook

[sidrah]

Re: Pregnant HS kids

Brook,

First, thanks. I do feel like I am doing what I can and try to help as much as I can. For example, tomorrow, I am having a special "girls only everyone else take a break for the day and go to the cafeteria" lunch with some girls just so we can chat- about whatever. A kid and I talked about Michael Jackson albums today for 30 minutes after he got kicked out of detention and they were gonna call the cops on him for his behavior. The rest of his day was great.

Pay is crap, but I cannot imagine any other job. I get so much flack from teachers who think I am babying these girls (and boys who I know of). They expect me to treat them so poorly because of something that some honestly did not even plan on happening. I know how some are treated at home and I honestly feel some of them will be great moms just because they know what NOT to do because of thier own moms. Another uncommon opinion. Trust me to open my big mouth. These teachers know better than to try to change my mind sometimes. I gotta stand up for what I think is right.


And, secondly....I think my advisor is a loon. Not all teen moms end up the way she described (in great detail) as you are a testament to. I have no kids but I know I would think it has to be helpful to know someone else is in the same boat.

May I contact you at some time in the future if I need justification for proposing this. Just hearing teen moms say, "I wish I had__________when I really needed it." might help me get this idea pushed through. Unfortunately, the only teen moms and dads I know are those currently in my class or still enrolled in school.

Also, it will help me know what people really need and not just what my inexperienced self deems necessary for moms to know. We brianstormed and one thing that came up was the whole "What happens when my kid gets sick and I have to stay home from school?" They were incredulous when they heard that even though they are parents themselves, they still, as 14 year olds, need their moms to call them in sick to the attendance office!! Little things get you.

Any help is great. Just that much info was great for me to hear. Thanks again.
teresa

[Brook]

Re: Pregnant HS kids

You may absolutely contact me, Teresa. I'll help in anyway I can or answer any questions you care to throw at me.

I find your point of view refreshing and very non-judgemental. It's uncommon. Everyone seems to think they've got answers to prevent things like this and no one comes running when their prevention ideas fall flat on their face. Ugh. Always something!

As for the kiddo in your class today - I'm gonna hit you from another direction now. I'm also a mom of a special needs kiddo, and one who makes a point to say 'THANK YOU' to those who will invest not only time but part of their heart in kids who need more help, so THANK YOU. Sometimes the labels these kids wind up having attached to them are as debilitating to them as the issues they really do have to work with- and in some ways more so because the labels allow other people to make judgements about them and get away with it. Grrrrrr. These kids are people too and sometimes all it takes is having someone recognize that, acknowledge that, and ACT on it. They need advocates in a big way, and not just for their educational issues, but for the emotional issues that come with the big picture - as well as the labels. You made a difference in that boy's day today, and there are a lot of people out there who'll read your post today and won't be able to say the same thing.

Many props to you - for not only being a teacher, but being a person and allowing these kids to be people too.


~Brook

[Finelly]

Re: Pregnant HS kids

I also teach special ed and I have taught at a h.s. though this year I moved to an elementary school.

I think your dissertation proposal is great. What would be interesting is to compare teen pregnancy rates in the general ed population vs. special ed population (and then within special ed, resource vs. special day class). I'm wondering if there is a difference between the groups. And if so, why? (For example, is the impulse-control issue amongst those with ADHD and other learning disabilities a factor?)

I'd love to talk to you about this as you proceed.

[Peytonn]

Re: Pregnant HS kids

I think she might have rejected it because it's been done to death...... it does seem to me that it's something that's making a 'comeback'...... girls having babies... I had a 6th grader last year (who looked 21) have an abortion... had a 7th grader have a baby 2 years ago.....

the impact for the majority of them is that taxpayers pay more.... the babies end up in government programs (here in Georgia the Babies Can't Wait thing takes babies at 6 weeks) My 7th grader had her baby in daycare right across from her own classroom (mine).....She was on public assistance for food, medical, dental, for herself and her baby, but she always managed to have a cell phone and cigarettes.... she had been in danger of losing the baby because she'd been busted for under age consumption... she'd been found with 4 older men in a car drunk... with the baby...

I know there's different circumstances surrounding teen pregnancy... but what I'm seeing now is more of a conscious decision to GET pregnant..... for whatever reason..

[Peytonn]

Re: Pregnant HS kids

oh.. .and maybe your advisor would go for something related, but not so broad, because like I said.. don't we really KNOW the impact?



how about something relating to the ages at which teens are getting pregnant (in the past it seems teen pregnancy was in the 15-18 range more... now it's pre-teen/early teen more.....




I think you could still narrow down something..

I think you're interested in something worthwhile...



I never decided to get my Ph.D., or Ed.D for that matter, I stopped with my Ed.S..... but I wanted to do a paper on 'road kill, is frequency related to moon phases?' seriously... haven't you ever noticed sometimes there's tons more dead stuff than others?

[Peytonn]

Re: Pregnant HS kids

DO NOT KICK ME AROUND!!! I KNOW there are perfectly well adjusted self sufficient people who were teen moms... that's NOT what I'm talking about...

and it's commendable for all those who have been able to be successful as single and/or teen parents

[not2late]

Re: Pregnant HS kids

I briefly worked in a hospital in the Bronx. I remember one horrific 48 hours time period when a 12 year old was in labor. Can you imagine? 12 years old and she had just turned 12 a month before! Her 18 year old boyfriend was no where to be seen, but was around before she was brought in---they were having sexual relations and her water broke. That was about 12 years ago, so this girl is now 24 and her daughter is now 12.

Anyhow, some teen mothers get their heads straight and do well--Brook is an example and so is a girl I met when I worked in New Jersey. 17 years old, dropped out of high school, but took her GED and began studying to be a nursing assistant. Shortly before I left that job, she was hired by the hospital. And some don't.

[cleochatra]

Re: Pregnant HS kids

I am amazed at the number of girls in my son's last MIDDLE SCHOOL who were reported to be pregnant. 2 5th graders! 12 years old!

It seems that kids are goofing around earlier than they ever did. Lunchtime conversation at my son's table included oral sex, and getting their girlfriends to do things for them.

At 12!

[Peytonn]

Re: Pregnant HS kids

17 is way closer to being an adult than 12 or 13...... I got married (the first time) at 16.. ('nuther long stupid story).. but no kids....

childless by choice....

maybe your paper could be about teen pregnancy below a particular age... like -14 or something....

one kid I taught and coached.. when I was a reg. ed. teacher.. came to me one day in tears... she was pregnant... 14, 9th grade....

they got married, had the baby... (and now 2 more to go with it).. that was 12 years ago.....(the youngest is 5)

she and Kev are still together.. as happy as ever.. and just completed a 3700 sq. foot HOME!!!

GOD knows I'm not saying it's all bad..... I'm envious of her almost...

[sidrah]

Re: Pregnant HS kids

oh.. .on 'road kill, is frequency related to moon phases?' seriously... haven't you ever noticed sometimes there's tons more dead stuff than others?

A friend of mine did her MA thesis on detention and referral rates during full moons compared to new moons and other phases. She was an assn't principal so she had the data to use.

Will consider what you said. I get what you are saying, though. I realize it has been done to death. I just think perhaps there is some aspect that is overlooked a little or something that hasn't been done. I think there has to be something that can be looked at from the admin perspective.

[DebbieY]

Re: Pregnant HS kids

I can't believe I'm saying this but I rebelled around the age of 13/14. (My grandfather's a retired preacher, my mom's a preacher's daughter and my dad is now a preacher, so they were pretty strict.) I had sex at the age of 13. It wasn't safe sex either. (Although, the experience left little to be desired, I waited years before trying again.) That was around 16 years ago. Now that I have a 4 year old daughter, I worry about what she will do. My parent's have no clue about what I did at 13 (almost 14). I think they thought I was a virgin until I got married (at the age of 23).

My best friend, at that time, had an abortion when she was 13. She told me when she went in, there were several girls from our school in our class going to get their second and third abortions.

I just mentioned this because although we are seeing it more often, I wonder if it's because it's a lot more common or if it's because it's spoken of more often.

[FightingTheFight]

Re: Pregnant HS kids

Is it just me or is this problem more apparent in my school than others?

the problem starts at home...kids aren't being taught these days, and do not know that there are consequences to decisions they make. Just take a look at the current student body. No manners, no respect for elders, and the "I don't care about anything" attitude.

Treat the problem, not the symptoms.