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  • Physician Diagnoses

    The following quotes were taken from actual medical records as dictated by physicians:





    By the time he was admitted, his rapid heart had stopped, and he was feeling better.

    Patient has chest pain if she lies on her left side for over a year.

    On the second day the knee was better and on the third day it had completely disappeared.

    She has had no rigors or shaking chills, but her husband states she was very hot in bed last night.

    The patient has been depressed ever since she began seeing me in 1983.

    Patient was released to outpatient department without dressing.

    I have suggested that he loosen his pants before standing, and then, when he stands with the help of his wife, they should fall to the floor.

    The patient is tearful and crying constantly. She also appears to be Depressed.

    Discharge status: Alive but without permission.

    The patient will need disposition, and therefore we will get Dr. Blank to dispose of him.

    Healthy appearing decrepit 69 year-old male, mentally alert but forgetful.

    The patient refused an autopsy.

    The patient has no past history of suicides.

    The patient expired on the floor uneventfully.

    Patient has left his white blood cells at another hospital.

    The patient's past medical history has been remarkably insignificant with only a 40 pound weight gain in the past three days.

    She slipped on the ice and apparently her legs went in separate directions in early December.

    The patient experienced sudden onset of severe shortness of breath with a picture of acute pulmonary edema at home while having sex which gradually deteriorated in the emergency room.

    The patient had waffles for breakfast and anorexia for lunch.

    Between you and me, we ought to be able to get this lady pregnant.

    The patient was in his usual state of good health until his airplane ran out of gas and crashed.

    Since she can't get pregnant with her husband, I thought you would like to work her up.

    She is numb from her toes down.

    While in the ER, she was examined, X-rated and sent home.

    The skin was moist and dry.

    Occasional, constant, infrequent headaches.

    Coming from Detroit, this man has no children.

    Patient was alert and unresponsive.


    5'4"
    45 yrs (F) a.k.a. "Butterbean"
    Start date 5/18/2003
    197/163.5/130

  • #2
    Re: Physician Diagnoses

    ROFL
    While in the ER, she was examined, X-rated and sent home.
    where on earth do you find all this stuff?
    by the book atkinseer

    started 6/1/02 at 313
    goalie 5/04 at 167 with under 15% body fat ADBB Presidents exercise Challenge


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    • #3
      Re: Physician Diagnoses

      I think I just have too much time on my hands 2big, plus, I've always been known for my gathering of useless information abilities! LOL


      5'4"
      45 yrs (F) a.k.a. "Butterbean"
      Start date 5/18/2003
      197/163.5/130

      Comment


      • #4
        Re: Physician Diagnoses

        The patient refused an autopsy.
        I'm usually pretty easy going but I think I would have to put my foot down on that one too.
        "Only request in my behalf both inward and outward strength...that I may not merely be called a Christian, but really be found to be one." -- St. Ignatius of Antioch, Epistle to the Romans

        Started 2/25/04 Age 30 5'3" F
        SW231/CW150/GW125
        ~Rhonda
        My gallery...a work in progress...
        http://www.atkinsdietbulletinboard.c...3&userid=10569 updated on Aug 11th!
        Has ADBB made a positive impact on your life? Become a Supporting Member!

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        • #5
          Re: Physician Diagnoses

          The patient is tearful and crying constantly. She also appears to be Depressed.

          Also maybe just a teensy bit sad......
          Started Atkins 2d time 6/20/05
          218/187/140
          Measuring every 2 weeks
          As of 10/31/05, losta total of 56.75 inches!



          Minimum 45 min cardio per day

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          • #6
            Re: Physician Diagnoses

            The patient expired on the floor uneventfully.

            Well, thank goodness! Those eventful expirations are so messy.....
            Started Atkins 2d time 6/20/05
            218/187/140
            Measuring every 2 weeks
            As of 10/31/05, losta total of 56.75 inches!



            Minimum 45 min cardio per day

            Comment


            • #7
              Re: Physician Diagnoses

              The skin was moist and dry.

              L'Oreal calls it "combination skin"......
              Started Atkins 2d time 6/20/05
              218/187/140
              Measuring every 2 weeks
              As of 10/31/05, losta total of 56.75 inches!



              Minimum 45 min cardio per day

              Comment


              • #8
                Re: Physician Diagnoses

                Occasional, constant, infrequent headaches.

                But only sometimes. Except when they happen a lot. Which is all the time.
                Started Atkins 2d time 6/20/05
                218/187/140
                Measuring every 2 weeks
                As of 10/31/05, losta total of 56.75 inches!



                Minimum 45 min cardio per day

                Comment


                • #9
                  Re: Physician Diagnoses

                  The patient experienced sudden onset of severe shortness of breath with a picture of acute pulmonary edema at home while having sex which gradually deteriorated in the emergency room.
                  I've noticed that, too. I think it's all the people screaming. Or maybe the smell of amonia. Or maybe it's those uncomfortable gurneys.



                  Started Atkins 2d time 6/20/05
                  218/187/140
                  Measuring every 2 weeks
                  As of 10/31/05, losta total of 56.75 inches!



                  Minimum 45 min cardio per day

                  Comment


                  • #10
                    Re: Physician Diagnoses

                    On the second day the knee was better and on the third day it had completely disappeared.
                    I hate when my knees disappear...ruins my whole day.
                    "Only request in my behalf both inward and outward strength...that I may not merely be called a Christian, but really be found to be one." -- St. Ignatius of Antioch, Epistle to the Romans

                    Started 2/25/04 Age 30 5'3" F
                    SW231/CW150/GW125
                    ~Rhonda
                    My gallery...a work in progress...
                    http://www.atkinsdietbulletinboard.c...3&userid=10569 updated on Aug 11th!
                    Has ADBB made a positive impact on your life? Become a Supporting Member!

                    Comment


                    • #11
                      Re: Physician Diagnoses

                      Discharge status: Alive but without permission.

                      Well, I hope the next time I have to go to the hospital, I have permission to be alive!!
                      Started Atkins: 21 Sep 2003
                      Height: 5'2"



                      Started as Size 14-16; Currently 3 - 7
                      http://coleslaw11.tripod.com/

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                      • #12
                        Re: Physician Diagnoses

                        The patient has been depressed ever since she began seeing me in 1983.

                        Time to re-examine your bedside manner!

                        Lady Hawke

                        Attitude Changes Everything.
                        Just like the butterfly, I too will awaken in my own time.
                        ---><---



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