First year alone on Christmas

**MsChrissy** · December 23, 2005, 06:14 AM

Re: First year alone on Christmas

Ouchhhh.....that hurts. Look to yourself for that love........your worth it and certainly not a disgrace.

I'll most likely be popping in and I'll be sure to say "HI" to you!!!!
Big hug's, Chrissy

**BoxerMom** · December 23, 2005, 06:15 AM

Re: First year alone on Christmas

Speedy-
I'm sorry for the way you are being treated and wish I had some words of wisdom but I'm shocked speechless.

Don't forget that you are loved by the people on this website.

Val

**Barbde** · December 23, 2005, 06:20 AM

Re: First year alone on Christmas

Speedy.

Families just suck sometimes! Your post just breaks my heart and makes me really angry with them!!
I will be thinking of you girl!

**Heidi3** · December 23, 2005, 06:21 AM

Re: First year alone on Christmas

your boyfriend and you should find a way to make a new tradition for the holidays honey...that is what we did ...we were alone far from home before I had kids and just went to the movies and then out to eat our first year together ..it was really nice...
if things can not be the "same" make them new!!!

do not let your weight get in the way of your life is all I am saying because life goes by and your weight has nothing to do with time

OOOXXX

**ladyinred** · December 23, 2005, 06:43 AM

Re: First year alone on Christmas

Are you kidding me? You're the cutest little thing I've ever seen! I hope you and your bf have a wonderful Christmas. I won't be here next week to chat with you, but I know you'll have fun on the Board. And with your BF. Just my 2 cents, but they are the disgraceful ones who should be ashamed of themselves - not you! (your family I mean, not the ADBBers - hee). Sending much love and hugs your way, sweetie Speedy!

**sadie147** · December 23, 2005, 07:35 AM

Re: First year alone on Christmas

Wow, I can't get over the fact that your family would say that. How horrible.

I agree with Heidi, this is a good time to start your own tradition with your boyfriend, go out for dinner, make a special dinner, see a movie etc.

**shirleyhon** · December 23, 2005, 07:51 AM

Re: First year alone on Christmas

According to your picture, you are very cute. I think distress is a challenge we all have to face. This is one reason to gain self esteem while losing weight. Keep being proud of your progress. Just realize Christmas will be great with healthy foods. God bless you.

**Heidi3** · December 23, 2005, 08:01 AM

Re: First year alone on Christmas

you can not change anyone but your self baby girl ...

**Moochiecat** · December 23, 2005, 08:07 AM

Re: First year alone on Christmas

Well...I tells ya...I'm 42 and I still try and do that 'family dance' to make certain people happy. It's a rough trap to be caught in and especially around Christmas it gets even more frantic. Last year was the worst for me and after much heartache, I decided that I can't let them get to me like that anymore.
Every year I have to have the same talk to myself that even though I put myself out to certain family members, I just cannot get back what I want to get back, no matter how hard I try.
The fault does not lie with me. It may not necessarily lie with them. Just because we are family doesn't mean we all have to be bosum buddies. Sometimes it just doesn't work out like that no matter how much we try. We have it so drummed into us from watching TV families how Christmas should be, but it's just not reality.

So what I do is cherish the family members that I get along with...make sure they know I feel that way about them and keep it civil with those that I'm not close with.

You have your own life to live and I encourage you to just get out there and live it! As someone said, start your own traditions with your boyfriend...that's what me and my boyfriend have done, and after a few years of figuring out what Christmas meant to us we've come to really enjoy it and this year is the best ever! We've built up a nice circle of friends and we all love getting together and doing things....they are our family now.
It can take some time, and each year is a new opportunity to strengthen the bonds, but in time, you've built your own foundation and you won't have to rely so much on your family. Sometimes too, if you leave them alone, they come seeking you out, and you can receive them on your terms.

Take care, enjoy your time with your bf, and have the best Christmas you can have!

**Brook** · December 23, 2005, 08:25 AM

Re: First year alone on Christmas

((((((((((((((((Hugs)))))))))))))))))

**not2late** · December 23, 2005, 08:57 AM

Re: First year alone on Christmas

(((((((Hugs))))))))

Don't allow yourself to be dragged down by those comments, Speedy. Sometimes, people think they are being supportive when they make comments like that (weird I know, but people are people.)

Don't sit around depressed this Christmas. Do as the others suggested and make your own Christmas routine: decorate a tree, help in a homeless shelter/soup kitchen/nursing home. Fix yourself a festive dinner and enjoy yourself.

My first Christmas away from the family could have been miserable, but I decided I wasn't going to stand for that. You shouldn't stand for that either!

**2big4mysize** · December 23, 2005, 10:05 AM

Re: First year alone on Christmas

(((((((((((((((((((((((Speedy)))))))))))))))))))

you know there is nothing they could do if you just showed up during the day to wish all the out of town realtives a Merry Christmas and then went to have a great time with your BF.

Are you sure it is you and not your boyfriend they don't want?
I had a friend who married a black man and had biracial kids and the person in "charge" of their holiday gathering told her she was welcome but not him nor the kids and it was only recently that the "rest" of the family found out about that and changed it. They had always wondered why she didn't attend any more and now they are welcome with open arms and everybody makes a point of including her and her family.

**Desertthorn** · December 23, 2005, 10:07 AM

Re: First year alone on Christmas

Families and even some friends can be cruel and insensitive, but that doesn't have anything to do with you, or being fat or being thin or anything that you can change. So, write them off and do something for yourself.
A very loving friend of ours was going to be alone over Christmas, so we invited him to spend it with us. We are really enjoying his company and it might be our new tradition.

**ttdriver** · December 23, 2005, 10:11 AM

Re: First year alone on Christmas

I can certainly understand the family rejection thing .. I'm going through that at the moment too ... only in my case, they are so jealous of me, they can't stand to be around me! (sounds like "THEIR PROBLEM" wouldn't you agree?)

So, I concur with the others who say "start your own traditions" with your sweet boyfriend. People who can't love you and accept you for who you are, aren't worthy of you.

We love you!! God loves you!! And that's all that matters!

Betty

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