It's 12h42am. I'm extremely tired and very emotional. Nothing seems to be going right so far this year..
First none of our clients paid us for December. Then we had a breakin and all our business software (WHY???) got stolen. My DH had a little bumper-bash with my car and the other guy wasn't insured. Then both my little girls were hospitalized on Tuesday for Shigella-poisoning they picked up in Mozambique on holiday, and I've just heard that both my parents have malaria.
I spent the last four days at the hospital with the kids, I'm so tired I feel like I want to fall on my face, at least the poor little ones were discharged today so I can get some sleep. Needless to say, I have fallen of the Atkins wagon pretty hard since Tuesday. I've had nothing but take aways from the hospital cafeteria, and loads of coffee. I've taken up smoking again to stay awake. (What the????)
I've been really really bad. I've fallen into the old habit of doing bad things to my body when I feel stressed. How is it that to everyone else it seems like I'm in control and calm in a crisis - I'm always the one telling everyone things aren't that bad, look on the bright side, breathe, stay calm yada yada yada, meanwhile I'm sabotaging everything by becoming this out of control eating everything in sight smoking human hazard to everybody's wellbeing. I need to quit this. My kids are fine. My parents will be too. I'm scared I won't be able to get clean again. I've struggled to quit smoking for 5 years. I know how hard it will be again. I know that it will take so much to start eating well again. HELP PLEASE! Anyone please help me through the next day. If I do one day, the one after that will be easier, right?
First none of our clients paid us for December. Then we had a breakin and all our business software (WHY???) got stolen. My DH had a little bumper-bash with my car and the other guy wasn't insured. Then both my little girls were hospitalized on Tuesday for Shigella-poisoning they picked up in Mozambique on holiday, and I've just heard that both my parents have malaria.
I spent the last four days at the hospital with the kids, I'm so tired I feel like I want to fall on my face, at least the poor little ones were discharged today so I can get some sleep. Needless to say, I have fallen of the Atkins wagon pretty hard since Tuesday. I've had nothing but take aways from the hospital cafeteria, and loads of coffee. I've taken up smoking again to stay awake. (What the????)
I've been really really bad. I've fallen into the old habit of doing bad things to my body when I feel stressed. How is it that to everyone else it seems like I'm in control and calm in a crisis - I'm always the one telling everyone things aren't that bad, look on the bright side, breathe, stay calm yada yada yada, meanwhile I'm sabotaging everything by becoming this out of control eating everything in sight smoking human hazard to everybody's wellbeing. I need to quit this. My kids are fine. My parents will be too. I'm scared I won't be able to get clean again. I've struggled to quit smoking for 5 years. I know how hard it will be again. I know that it will take so much to start eating well again. HELP PLEASE! Anyone please help me through the next day. If I do one day, the one after that will be easier, right?




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