Why does this bother me?

[Heidi3]

Yesterday I was at my desk doing my work ...and this nurse I barely know walked up behind me and started in on my hair

She felt the need to complain about how wild it was (touching it and tosing it around mind you) and how I needed product ABCDEFG to make it looks "soooo much better" ..she has no investment in this product she just felt the need to critique me..in public ..in front of patients....and tell me just how to fix myself!

I have never said that I did or did not like my hair ....nor did I ask anyone to help me with it...

she noted that "so and so has hair just like yours and look how good it looks since she is using ABCDEFG products"

1. isn't it rude and hurtful to do this to someone especially since I have worked with her maybe 3 times?
2. it is other peoples obligation to come and just say shiit like that and think they are being helpful?
3. what if I like my hair?
4. what on earth is the reason I would at my ages suddenly want to go rush out and buy all this $$$$ crap I do not have time or the inclination to use ..just because some one had the brilliant idea it would make me look better
5. why are my feelings hurt?
6. and why if obviously this was not something I wanted to hear did she feel the need to elaborate until I found a good excuse to get her to shut up..like "don't you have some work to do instead of trying to fix my hair and since you noticed I am trying to turn my hair into dreads so leave it alone before you mess it up!!...the next thing you will be telling me I need make up and before you do ...let's just say NO F'king way ok????"

I am really not going for dreads even though it does look like it sometimes

[ladyinred]

Re: Why does this bother me?

And you look really good in turtlenecks, Heidi. They hide the wrinkles in your neck. lol Sorry - I stole that from an old t.v. show. (I don't really think you have a wrinkly neck)

Maybe she's jealous of your gorgeous hottie body so she thought she'd pick on your hair? I tell people "I have a hard enough time living up to my own standards without worrying about living up to yours".

Yes, you are right. She was incredibly rude and insensitive. You are right to feel angry and hurt. Tell her next time she gets that close to you she'd better buy you dinner first. Sorry, I'm being angry for you and not very helpful. My dd has wild and crazy hair. We take her to a salon run by black ladies because, while her hair isn't quite an afro, no one else knows what to do with it. The ladies there take very good care of her. Oh, but that's beside the point. The point is that people give her a hard time too and she already feels bad about it. Oh, I'm making things worse. I don't see anything wrong with your hair!!! You might want to ask her about it though - why did she feel the need to be messing in your hair and trying to embarrass you in front of people. And I'm sorry, but who sticks their hands in someone else's hair anyway? Someone they barely know, I mean. Jeez! You're not the one with the problem Heidi-honey.

[Analog6]

Re: Why does this bother me?

She's just an ignorant person, feel sorry for her and don't let it bother you. Next time she comes out with soemthing like this, just do what my mother always does perfectly. When she sys she uses product XYZ because it makes her hair look really good, just look her up and down and say "Oh, really?" Cuts 'em right down to size. My Mum's only 5'2" and she can look down her nose at tall people and they wilt! It's a great ability.

[cypressgirl]

Re: Why does this bother me?

I agree. How rude! What a twit.

[Lisa M]

Re: Why does this bother me?

Oh to be able to turn around to the lady and tell her she needs to find a new hobby instead.

Some people are just so rude.

No touching allowed. That's the rules. No touching....not even the hair.

[sallyseachange]

Re: Why does this bother me?

What a moron! (her, not you, of course!!)

[*Emma*]

Re: Why does this bother me?

It bothers you because you're human, unfortunately some people get off on putting other people down, next time just slip them the finger or something, carefully quoting -
"Sorry, just WHEN did i ask for your advice?"

[Heidi3]

Re: Why does this bother me?

Thanks you guys sooo much I love the support we get here and it was a bummer having the board down yesterday!

I looked in the mirror when I woke up just now and thought I should assault her with this today and not brush it at all

my dad is a Middle Eastern Jew and he has tight curly hair and my mother had red hair I started off as a blonde then when I was five or so it began to become pretty red!!!

I grew up in an Italian neighborhood where everyone had beautiful dark shiny hair ...and spent most of my youth trying to get it straight!!! I even ironed it!!! Kids teased me all the freaking time about my wild red hair!!! as soon as I could I started lightening it...

as an adult I find most folks seem to like it ...

my husband loves my hair and made me stop lightening it a several years ago ...he says it fits who I am .. "crazy hair on a crazy lady" and hates me even to cut it anymore...

I don't know ...I am usually pretty tough about things like this ..it just felt like a rug was pulled out of me....

she has that thick silky blond hair that I always thought was perfect!!!

[not2late]

Re: Why does this bother me?

That drives me crazy, Heidi!

Until I was 16, I had long hair. It went down to my waist. I used to keep it pulled back in a pony tail (otherwise, it would have been all over the place).

Anyhow, when I was in junior high (early 80s when everyone was getting into that "big" hair/extra crispy permed hair look), a group of oh-so-fashionable girls at the bus stop used to tell me every single day, how I should do my hair. "It would look good if you got it cut and shaped". "It would look good if you got it cut and permed" "It would look good if you got it cut, permed and feathered" blah blah blah. One day I got sick of it and told them to shut up. If they wanted long hair to do whatever with they should grow their own hair.

Fast forward to when I was 16. By then I had gotten sick and tired of taking care of my long hair. So, I had it cut to shoulder length (no perm, no feathering) and I used to stick a barrett in it to keep it out of my eyes. I was in the cafeteria one day when one of my junior high school fashion critics came up to me and said "You know, your hair was alot prettier when it was long."

So as long as you like your hair, everything's good.

[ladyinred]

Re: Why does this bother me?

Exactly, Megs! Next time someone feels the urge to tell you how much better you could look tell them their mouth looks a lot better when it's closed.

[Lisa M]

Re: Why does this bother me?

Thanks you guys sooo much I love the support we get here and it was a bummer having the board down yesterday!

I looked in the mirror when I woke up just now and thought I should assault her with this today and not brush it at all

my dad is a Middle Eastern Jew and he has tight curly hair and my mother had red hair I started off as a blonde then when I was five or so it began to become pretty red!!!

I grew up in an Italian neighborhood where everyone had beautiful dark shiny hair ...and spent most of my youth trying to get it straight!!! I even ironed it!!! Kids teased me all the freaking time about my wild red hair!!! as soon as I could I started lightening it...

as an adult I find most folks seem to like it ...

my husband loves my hair and made me stop lightening it a several years ago ...he says it fits who I am .. "crazy hair on a crazy lady" and hates me even to cut it anymore...

I don't know ...I am usually pretty tough about things like this ..it just felt like a rug was pulled out of me....

she has that thick silky blond hair that I always thought was perfect!!!

What a great family history you have.

It's cute how your dh loves your hair. Nice.

[lil_Buddy]

Re: Why does this bother me?

Yeah. I've got big, thick, bushy, dry, coarse curly hair (which, interestingly, I got from the waspy side of my family, not the the Jewish half).

My Korean friends told me I would look much prettier with straight hair. Yeah, whatever. You know how much it costs to have your hair professionally straightend? And then to maintain it?

A) It's called priorities. I have other things to do with my time and money. Tell that woman if she wants to buy all that crap and come to your house each morning and apply it to your head, she's more than welcome.
B) Let's face it, curly hair is sexier and more dramatic.

Christopher Walken says that his crazy hair grows right out of his brain. Mine too. And, I think yours, too!

[iyamamaschke]

Re: Why does this bother me?

1 WORD BEEAACHHHH!!!!!!

Sarah

[Heidi3]

Re: Why does this bother me?

you guys are amazing ...thanks so much again ...some days I wonder why I feel the need to come back here all the time ..and then I read all these supportive notes...after a crappy work day and well ...nothing left to say ..this is why I come back...

I just hope that at the same time I give even close to this much back....

thank you so much you guys are awesome!!! OOOXXX

she was a beeeaaaatch Sarah you are right !!!

[iyamamaschke]

Re: Why does this bother me?

(((WINK))) you rock on girl

Sarah