At MY age?!!

[Atkid]

Re: At MY age?!!

You have all valid reasons to have another child. Go for it, you won't regret it!

[freckles]

Re: At MY age?!!

I was 23 when I had my first and 24 when I had my second. I had a mental thing that I didn't want to have any kids after age 25. I know that is really young, but for some reason it was important to me. LOL! Now I'm 26 and we're not having any more biologically, but I could see us adopting in a few years.

[freckles]

Re: At MY age?!!

Aww you know you will go for that girl. Everybody needs at least l of each. Time will tell.

Nah. Not everyone! I have 2 girls, VERY content with that. In fact, if we adopted, we'd prefer to adopt a girl.

[Heidi3]

Re: At MY age?!!

I had kids young but I say have that baby if you want to you are not too hold

and just as an added note I hope like helll my kids want to take care of me and be around when I am older that is for darn sure !!!!!

[Sd1136]

Re: At MY age?!!

I was 39 when I had my last baby
My husband who was also 39 died a year after my last was born, I would have like one more.
Dont let your age stop you!
sandi

[Jerzaka]

Re: At MY age?!!

I had my children young (started at 21), I remember what kind of energy it takes. I also run a daycare of out my home. I sometimes have five daycare children in my house, plus my two boys and two golden retrievers. Oh yeah, and my husband! LOL

I guess it's a tradeoff, really. I have way more patience now than I did when I was "younger", but you're right, not as much energy. However, I do get up much earlier than I used to. I find I'm requiring less and less sleep.

I can see why one would think having children so they'll be around for you when you're old is not insurance. Kids aren't a guarantee to take care of you. It's more than that. I just didn't articulate it well enough.

They are, however an insurance to take care of someone else. To find unconditional love in the eyes of your own child. My husband knows what it's like to raise a child. My husband knows what it's like to take them to the ER, kiss them goodnight, cook them dinner, take them to soccer, help with homework, etc. What he doesn't have, is that tear that falls from your eyes when you see them in a school recital. The look of a baby the first time they smile at you. The panic you feel when something doesn't feel right. That instinctual pull. It's innate.

That's what I'm afraid he'll miss out on. I fear is that in ten years he'll say, "The only thing I regret in life is...."


So, while it would be a huge sacrifice to us in some respects...it may be the best thing we ever did. I, on some level feel like our marriage isn't complete without a baby. His baby. Our baby. I know that's wrong... but, nevertheless, that's how I feel.

Having a child look back on his or her life and "hate" the fact that we didn't have the energy that he/she would require would devastate me. Not to mention that child's classmates thinking we were the grandparents would be embarrassing for them. I just don't know. It's a hard decision to make.

Meanwhile, my grandmother just died after battling cancer. She was 87. Her funeral is Tuesday, back home. She raised seven children and didn't start until she was 27 years old. I know that my own mother and my grandmother were pregnant just 13 months apart. My head is spinning with all this. I suppose I should just let it be for a while and enjoy what we have.

Life's too short.

[Kittie]

Re: At MY age?!!

37 is not too old. My mother was 34 when she had me, and 36 when she had my sister, and was a great mother. Who says you can't be active with your children in your thirties and forties? I know a LOT of very active mothers in their 30s and 40s, and even their 50s. My mother did so much for us. She took us everywhere.

I personally don't understand the attitude that you somehow won't have the energy to raise a child through such ages. It's not as if you're even close to "old" or incompetent. I'm kind of sick of the notion that one has to have all their children in their twenties. I say, go for it, if you truly have the desire to have a child together.

If you've considered the challenges and next couple of decades you'll have to devote, and feel it's right though, then don't let your "age" stop you. If you need more time to sort out your decision, then by all means, take it.

I'm sorry to hear about your grandmother...

[Pie4me]

Re: At MY age?!!

Go for your baby "together" with your hubbie! DO not let your age play a role
in this decision if BOTH of you are considering it. I was 33 when my first boy
came and 36 when the second one came and now I am 48 and I have plenty
of energy now just as I did then---and MUCH MORE patience. You and your
hubbie will adore this baby together and your "older kids" can participate too.
They will even revel in the closeness you and hubbie will share raising your own
baby together.

Pie4me

[sadie147]

Re: At MY age?!!

Let me tell you though, he's scared to death right now... at the prospect of having a child. He too wants to retire early and play golf (as if! hehe). But, I think he may regret this possibility as time marches on. When I first broached this subject with him, (and after the shock of what I was saying) I saw a smile. Not a hint of a smile, but a bonified smile.

I would definately really make sure your husbad really wants a baby before you make any decisions.

I have never had one and I don't feel like there's anything missing from my life, I have a wonderful marriage, and awesome husband, and awesome stepdaughter who loves me like i'm a parent , not just 'her stepmother'. I also think it's a decision that I will never regret. My life is complete with the wonderful family that i have.

One thing I always here alot of people who've decided to have kids say is that your really never completely ready, you just need to make the decision to do it..but i think it should be a 100% decision from both sides.